Trapped in the Mouth of Madness
by razoxrsharpxkisses
Summary: After the Kage Summit Sakura is left alone when Naruto leaves to learn to tame the Kyuubi.  Unable to handle the loneliness and guilt, she tries to take her life.  Will she be able to regain her life back as a kunoichi or will she succumb to her madness?
1. Three Truths

Hey peeps, this is my first fanfic so go easy on me...but I hope you like :)

I don't own Naruto _le sigh_.

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**Trapped in the Mouth of Madness**

**Three Truths**

Sakura Haruno reclined in an open field watching the stars twinkle in the Konoha late night sky. Although her body was broken, the result of receiving a chidori and rasengan blast simultaneously, and she was desperately gasping for air, her mind was filled not with thoughts of her imminent death, but rather memories. She thought back to when Team 7 had first trained under Kakashi-sensei, wrapping those happy memories around her like a warm blanket. But those happy memories were hard to hold onto when Death drew nearer to claim it's victim, and easily faded away to be replaced by the more painful memories of her chunnin days. After the Kage Summit, Sakura had become an emotional mess. She had realized three ugly truths: she loved Naruto, she still loved Sasuke, and she was destined to lose both.

Although Naruto believed that she was lying when she finally confessed her love for him, she really wasn't. She had finally come to understand that Naruto was a very important person in her life. He was more than just a teammate, and she didn't love him like a brother. Now that he had matured somewhat, she was able to see all of the qualities that made Hinata admire him so much. Those qualities had made her fall for him, and she was ashamed for how she treated him when they were still gennin. Perhaps that shame was what held her back from convincing Naruto that her confession was true.

_You deserved his rejection,_ a dark voice whispered from the back of her mind.

"How many times did I reject him?" Sakura asked aloud.

When she saw Sasuke about to kill the red haired member of Team Taka in cold blood, she knew she had to stop him. As she saw the boy she had loved as a child transform into an unrecognizable monster, she knew the only way to ensure the protection of her village and her team was to kill him. However, her sense of duty quickly crumbled when her opportunity arrived, and all of the feelings that she had thought were long buried had resurfaced and stilled her hand from taking the fatal blow. Her hesitation had nearly cost her life. As much as it shamed her to admit it, Sasuke still didn't return her feelings and had made an attempt on her life twice in one encounter, but that didn't make her stop loving him.

_But he'll never love you,_ the dark voice whispered sinisterly.

"He left me twice, I know he'll never come back," Sakura said.

The third truth had been the hardest to realize. She would lose both of the men she loved more than anything when they would meet on the battle field for the final showdown. Naruto had said that he would redeem Sasuke by dying with him, ensuring the protection of the village and their bond as teammates. But what about their bonds to her? Didn't either one of them care about how lonely she would be with both of them gone? Apparently not, but she should have known better. When Sasuke had first left to defect to Sound, Naruto had left to train with Jiraiya. Both had left her alone, but she had hope to keep her inner demons at bay. Naruto's departure wasn't permanent, and she had spent that time to train with the Hokage and prove to both of her teammates that she wasn't the weakest member of Team 7. She had excelled in medical ninjutsu, and it had given her a purpose. She now had something to contribute to Team 7. She had gained a useful ability and kept hope for her team alive. However, now she had no hope. As she watched Sasuke defect to another enemy of Konoha and Naruto depart to learn to control the Kyuubi, she knew that her dream of a reunited Team 7 would never be realized. The next time the three came together, she would witness the fall of the two stars of Team 7, the Kyuubi Jinchuriki and the last Uchiha, and the permanent destruction of her world.

_And now you're mine for the taking_, the dark voice laughed manically in her head, and she covered her ears in a vain attempt to block it out.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she scrambled and failed to refute the sinister voice. Her silence only caused it to laugh at her harder.

That third truth had nearly destroyed her mentally. With her two teammates gone, her shisho comatose, and her sensei kept busy with his ascension as Acting Hokage and a declaration of the Fourth Great Ninja War, she had felt truly alone. To make matters worse, her actions during the Kage Summit had turned the remaining Konoha 11 against her. Her failure to keep her emotions under control had ensured the failure of the mission. Attacking them and failing to complete the mission on her own had cost her their trust, and they had alienated her.

Left alone with these truths her Inner Sakura had reappeared, but it had changed. The absence of friendship and hope, and the overwhelming despair those three truths had instilled in her had transformed Inner Sakura from the harmless reflection of her unconscious desires to an uncontrollable malevolent demon that threatened to take over her entire consciousness.

_Remember that night I first reappeared?_ Inner Sakura mocked at her.


	2. Deal with the Devil

So I'm hoping that if I beg for reviews, you guys might write me one...so please review me I really want to know what you think :).

I do not own Naruto.

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**Deal With the Devil**

Sakura glanced down at her wrists faintly tracing the two neat white scars that adorned them. She remembered that night well. Desperate to escape the loneliness and despair, she had slit her wrists and laid down on her bathroom floor, resigning herself to what she hoped would be a merciful and quick death. But mercy would not be granted to her. Her parents had found her and rushed her to the hospital where they stitched her up and tethered her securely to her wretched life.

What had followed was a month long stay in a mental hospital where the isolation coupled with powerful psychiatric drugs had kept her in an almost catatonic like state. That was when this new Inner Sakura had made its debut. Sakura thought back to those first words Inner Sakura had whirled against her like a weapon.

_How pathetically annoying_, Inner Sakura had sneered. _I leave you alone for a few years and look at the mess you've gotten yourself into._

"Who are you?" Sakura asked aloud.

_Don't you remember me? Honestly Sakura it really hasn't been that long_, Inner Sakura said mockingly.

"What are you doing here? I don't need you anymore," Sakura said frantically, recognizing her inner subconscious.

_Uhm you might want to lower your voice, _Inner Sakura warned. _It's going to make my job of convincing the doctors you're actually sane harder if they catch you talking to yourself._

"Why would you want to help me? I got rid of you for a reason," Sakura whispered.

_Yes well, don't think that I'm not still bitter about that. I'm here because contrary to what you believe you do need me. However, my help comes at a price._

"I don't need your help," Sakura whispered firmly.

_Oh yeah? Do you honestly think you'll be able to escape this cruel and unusual hell on your own? You're a medic, tell me, how long does the average patient stay in a mental facility after a suicide attempt?_

"Two weeks."

_And you've been here for how long?_

"One month."

_Do you see my point?_

Sakura sighed heavily before answering, "If I do accept your help, what would you want in return?"

_I want to come out and play. You've kept me locked away for too long, I'm restless. I'm a part of your consciousness, a part of you. I have every right to be allowed to surface and have some fun every once in awhile._

"Yeah, but the problem wasn't that you wanted to come out every once in awhile. You wanted to stay permanently. That's why Tsunade-shisho had to teach me to lock you away."

_Yeah well that bitch got what she deserved didn't she? She's still stuck in a coma isn't she?_

"Don't talk about her like that!"

_Calm down! Remember the doctors that we're trying to convince of your sanity? Besides, how can you defend her when she's one of the people who left you all alone? The way I see it, every single one of those "precious people" are responsible for your current state. If you hadn't of been left alone you wouldn't have done what you did._

"It wasn't like that."

_Tell me Sakura, who visited you while you were here?_

"No one," Sakura mouthed sadly.

_The way I see it, I'm the first person to actually pay a visit, and I have a solution to your problem to boot. But if you'd rather stay here in this lonely hell, then I guess I'll just be on my merry little way…_

"Wait! I'll do what you want just get me out of here…"

The next day during her check up, Sakura allowed Inner Sakura to take over and hadn't been disappointed with the outcome. The doctors had remarked on the impressiveness of her overnight recovery and had declared her sane and fit to be released from the hospital.

_See? I told you, you need me,_ Inner Sakura had gloated once Sakura was left alone in her room again so the doctors could fill out the necessary paperwork.

"I suppose you want to collect your payment now?" Sakura asked, resigned.

_I can wait. There's not really much fun to be had in a padded cell by yourself._

The doctors had returned soon to collect her signature and gave her a clean pair of green scrub pants and matching shirt to wear home. She quickly changed and headed down the halls, determined to be free. As Sakura walked out the hospital doors she was greeted with an unexpected sight. Standing a few yards away was the figure of a man clad in the ANBU uniform, his mask the face of a demonic lion.

"Sakura Haruno, you are hereby summoned to see the Acting Hokage," a familiar voice greeted her ears as she neared the ANBU member.

"Sai, is that you?" Sakura asked, eyes widening in surprise.

"I have been ordered to escort you to the Hokage Tower immediately," he ignored her question and grabbed her arm.

_This should be interesting,_ Inner Sakura mused.


	3. Of Rank and Team Dynamics

Thank you to everyone who has read this. I'd really appreciate it if you guys would leave a review...no need to be shy. I hope you guys are enjoying this, but I'd really love and appreciate some feedback :). If you leave me a review I promise to do the same to one of your stories! Let me know if you love it, hate, or want me to change something. I'm also open to ideas if you think I should take this story in a different direction. On a side note Blue Hawaii has become my new signature drink (a change from my usual Goose and cranberry...I need to start making them myself rather than going to the bar...).

I do not own Naruto... le sigh.

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**Of Rank and Team Dynamics**

_He looks so respectable now,_ Inner Sakura voiced amusedly.

Sakura silently agreed with her subconscious as she found herself standing before her former sensei dressed in the formal robes of the Hokage. Even though he had obtained the highest status of respect her village had to offer, he still kept his face covered to hide the shameful resemblance he had to his father. He also wore an eye patch to cover his ever active Sharigan eye.

Sai was standing a few feet away from her, his posture rigidly at attention as he awaited further instruction. He wasn't alone. He stood between two other ANBU members, one standing in a slouched position with the mask of a sloth covering his appearance while the other stood as rigidly as Sai wearing the mask of an eagle. Both had familiar hairstyles. Sakura immediately recognized them as Shikamaru and Neiji, but made no move to acknowledge either one. She doubted they would have responded to her greeting anyway.

"At ease," said Kakashi with an amused look in his eye. "You always make me so nervous standing there so seriously."

"My apologies Hokage-sama," Sai and Neiji said simultaneously, removing their masks and relaxing their postures.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered before removing his mask as well. His posture remained in the same relaxed slouch he had entered the office in.

Sakura risked a glance at the three ANBU members from the corner of her eye. As she scanned each of their faces she realized that they were purposefully ignoring her, refusing to look in her direction. Sakura felt the familiar pang of loneliness squeeze around her heart.

_I guess they're still resentful,_ Inner Sakura commented dryly.

Desperate to prove that sinister voice wrong, Sakura let her gaze rest on Sai, hoping that the emotionally handicapped youth would glance in her direction and show that he still cared for her as a member of Team Kakashi. Sai, however, did not acquiesce to her imploring gaze.

"I want to start by apologizing to you Sakura," Kakashi began, drawing her attention back to her former sensei.

"You have nothing to apologize to me for," Sakura cut in, giving him a confused look.

_Quiet! Let the man grovel,_ Inner Sakura hissed. _It should be fun to watch him crawl beneath us._

"I have failed you as a sensei multiple times," Kakashi continued, none the wiser to Sakura's internal voice. "But I refuse to fail you as your Hokage."

"I still don't understand," Sakura said.

"I've ignored you one too many times. I refused to acknowledge you as a kunoichi and I left you alone when you needed me most. I'm not going to let that happen again," explained Kakashi.

"What happened was my own fault," Sakura said quietly, unable to meet her former sensei's gaze. "My break down was due to my own inability to accept my failure of that mission. I couldn't kill Sasuke..." his name came out in a whisper. Sakura had to take a deep breath and gain control of her emotions before she could continue.

_Don't you dare fucking lose it! One sign of weakness and they'll send you right back to the loony bin,_ Inner Sakura demanded.

"I'm better now," Sakura said, more to her inner voice than to the shinobi listening.

"I'm glad to hear that," Kakashi's eye crinkled, indicating a smile hidden behind his mask. "I've already talked with your doctors, but I need to hear it from you, will you be able to continue life as a kunoichi? No one here will think any less of you if you decide civilian life would be better for you."

_Hear that? He thinks you can't handle life as a kunoichi. I ought to rip out that precious Sharigan of his, stick it in a box, and mail it off to Sasuke. He needs to replace his eyes in order to stop from turning blind right? I guess one good eye will be better than having no good eyes…_ Inner Sakura trailed off in a contemplative tone.

"I can't go back to life as a civilian. If I do that, then that means admitting to defeat and I refuse to do that. I have to redeem myself after that failure," Sakura said quickly, ignoring the voice in her head.

"Then you shall be reinstated with your current rank as chunnin," said Kakashi. Relief visibly washed over her face. She had been allowed to resume life as a kunoichi and would be able to keep her rank. "However," Kakashi's voice cut in, Sakura's eyes quickly glanced up to meet Kakashi's gaze. "You must be able to achieve jounin status by the end of this week if you want to be able to continue going on missions, otherwise I will just assign you to duties pertaining to the hospital here in Konoha."

_Well what do you know? Fail to commit suicide and they give you a promotion. Now that's an awards system I can really get behind,_ said Inner Sakura, the sarcasm in her tone sharp enough to slice its way out of Sakura's brain.

"Excuse me for interrupting Hokage-sama, but what did you want to speak with us about?" cut in Sai. To Sakura's dismay, he continued to refuse to glance in her direction. She vaguely wondered if he had interrupted because he was angry that she would be allowed to keep her rank.

"As you all are aware, your team is incomplete," Kakashi said, fixing Sai with a stern glare. "I was considering having Ino complete your team as your fourth member."

"But you'd rather have Sakura fill that position," cut in Neiji.

"She is the better medic-nin," added Shikamaru in a bored tone. Sakura glanced at the lazy prodigy, wondering if he truly meant the compliment.

_You bet your ass she's Ino's better,_ Inner Sakura gloated.

"I think Sakura will be the better fit for your team. Her capabilities qualify her for the position. However, if she is unable to reach jounin status by the end of the week then Ino will complete your team," said Kakashi. "Do you accept these terms Sakura?"

"I do. Thank you Hokage-sama," Sakura answered in a quiet voice.

"Then seven days from now, report to Training Grounds 2 at noon to begin the jounin examination. You are all dismissed," declared Kakashi, turning back to the paperwork on his desk.

Sakura quickly turned around and walked out of the office without a backwards glance. A whirl wind of emotions danced through her heart. She was elated that she had been given a chance to be able to prove to all of Konoha 11 that she deserved to be a kunoichi. However, she was nervous about obtaining the jounin rank. She had been inactive for a whole month.

_Don't worry, _mused Inner Sakura, _I'm not going to let you lose to the Pig._

"I'm sure you won't," muttered Sakura.

"Who are you talking to?" asked Sai, his cold voice made Sakura jump in surprise, and she whirled around to meet her former team mate's expressionless gaze.

"No one important," Sakura answered, breaking the uncomfortable eye contact. She had thought Sai was making progress as far as being able to express and share his emotions openly, but now he seemed much like he was when she first met him, cold and distant.

Sai merely blinked in response and walked passed her.

"Sai, wait! I-"

"If I were you," he cut Sakura off, pausing his step but refusing to look at her, "I would be more concerned with training right now. If we do become team mates again, then we'll talk as team mates do. There is no point in discussing team dynamics with someone whose affiliation has yet to be determined." Ending the conversation, he resumed walking. It wasn't until he rounded the corner, and was gone from her line of vision, that Sakura was able to let out the breath that she had unknowingly been holding.

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And here is where I beg for a review...I'm down on my knees, please review me! Love you long time...


	4. Girl Fight

Hey, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading this. I hope you all are liking what you're reading so far. I would definately love it if you could leave me a review. My offer still stands, write me a review and I will do the same for you! That's an amazing deal if you ask me...

I still don't own Naruto...**

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**Girl Fight**

The past six days of training had been absolute hell for Sakura. Not only was her body weak from a month of inactivity, but she had to put up with an extremely annoying and extremely bitchy voice in her head that felt the need to nag at her constantly. When Sakura went on her early morning run to start her day, Inner Sakura would complain that she wasn't running fast enough no matter how much she quickened her pace. At one point she was sure she could outstrip Lee or even Guy-sensei in a race, but it was never good enough to Inner Sakura.

_No wonder you always see Sasuke and Naruto's backs, you are just slow. You'll always be watching them walk away from you if you keep going at a snail's pace,_ that voice would whisper in her head, pure disgust dripping from its words.

When Sakura practiced her taijutsu, Inner Sakura would howl about how sloppy her moves were, or that her form was incorrect. She struggled to move the way her subconscious screamed at her to, but nothing Sakura did placated that biting voice.

_I refuse to believe that you were able to kill Sasori with a fighting style like that. Was it really Granny Chiyo's chakra strings that enabled you to move like an actual kunoichi?_ Inner Sakura taunted.

When Sakura exercised her chakra manipulation skills, Inner Sakura would yet again complain that her chakra control was lacking. No matter how much chakra Sakura infused into her punches, the nagging voice in her head would complain that her punches lacked real power behind them.

_Do you really think you'll be able to knock the Pig on her ass with those love taps you keep throwing around? And they say your strength rivals that of Tsunade_, Inner Sakura scoffed.

Home life wasn't that much better. The first night Sakura had spent back home at her parents' house had been so awkward and lonely that she decided she would move out into her own apartment if she reached jounin status. Her parents had kept their distance from her, making as little conversation as possible with her. She wondered if they were walking on eggshells around her because they were afraid they might set her off.

_You're out of the loony bin, but everyone still thinks you're crazy,_ Inner Sakura had chuckled.

To make matters even worse, her parents offered no explanation as to why they never came to visit her in the hospital. Although, judging from the way they acted around her, Sakura could only conclude that her parents were ashamed of her. Sakura didn't think that their shame stemmed from her broken mental state alone, but rather from her failure in her mission as well. Sakura had failed to fulfill her duty as a kunoichi and kill a dangerous criminal who threatened her village. Instead, she let her emotions get the best of her, and embarrassed her parents in front of the whole village even further by cutting open her wrists in a vain attempt at contrition. She knew that many of the villagers believed she was a traitor for continuing to love Sasuke, but it pained her to think that her parents thought she was a traitor as well.

_When are you going to learn that you shouldn't be on anyone else's side but your own?_ Inner Sakura chided.

When Sakura awoke on the seventh day, her scheduled exam day, she couldn't shake the nervousness that clung to her stomach. She decided to skip breakfast not only because she knew she couldn't trust her nervous stomach, but also to avoid another awkward encounter with her parents. Instead she opted to take a walk through Konoha after she had showered and dressed in her usual ninja attire.

However, as she walked down the early morning streets of Konoha, she couldn't shake the feeling of discomfort. At first, she thought it was just nerves about her upcoming exam, but then she started to take notice of her surroundings. Many of the villagers were huddled into small groups whispering and shooting her dirty looks. As she walked passed a mother and child taking an early morning stroll, she noticed the mother pull her child behind her, placing herself protectively between the kunoichi and her child as if afraid Sakura would attack.

_I don't think I like being treated like a rabid dog_, Inner Sakura growled.

"Traitor!" the insult was followed by a stabbing pain in her left shoulder blade as she felt a rock collide with the bone. Sakura had let out a cry of surprise as she felt the pain from her shoulder travel down to the tips of her fingers. She whirled around to see who her attacker was, but the whole crowd swarmed maliciously, emboldened by one faceless person's act.

_You better make a run for it, or this crowd will tear you limb from limb,_ the warning sent a shiver down Sakura's spine. Without hesitation, Sakura broke out into a full on sprint and didn't stop until she reached the Forest of Death.

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Once she felt safe, Sakura stopped running and collapsed on her knees. Her lungs burned for air, and her left shoulder and arm had gone numb. She had a suspicion that the sweat drenching her body wasn't just from her exerting run, but also from the fear that still painfully squeezed its way around her racing heart.

_Fucking animals out for blood_, Inner Sakura muttered. _When you're done pissing yourself, you might want to check up on your injury._

"Fuck you," Sakura hissed through desperate gasps for air, "I didn't hear you suggesting I stay and fight. As I recall, I do believe you were the one to tell me to run."

Inner Sakura hmphed before laughing devilishly. _I'm glad to see that you're inheriting my sharp tongue._

Sakura ignored her subconscious and unzipped her top before removing it. She hissed out in pain when she lifted her left arm experimentally. She squeezed her left hand and bent her elbow, and was relieved that neither movements pained her.

"Good, it's just the shoulder that's broken and not the whole arm," Sakura commented before focusing healing chakra into her right hand and placing it over the broken bone.

_Yes, because you don't have time to heal a shattered arm,_ Inner Sakura agreed. _You'll have to be leaving for the exam soon._

Sakura picked up her subconscious's hint to hurry and forced more chakra into her shoulder, urging the bone to heal faster. She bit her lip to stop from crying out in pain as the bone reset itself. Healing broken bones always hurt, but healing broken bones quickly was excruciating. Once the fracture had mended and the urge to pass out from pain had receded, Sakura put her shirt back on and made a mad dash for the Training Grounds.

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"I was afraid you were going to chicken out," goaded Ino, once Sakura arrived without a minute to spare. For the second time that day, Sakura was struggling for air and drenched in sweat. "You should have saved your energy," Ino continued, clicking her tongue and shaking her head.

"What are you doing here?" Sakura asked through gasps of air. She gave Ino a once over, noticing that her former friend's attire had changed to that of a jounin: black ninja sandals, black form-fitting pants, and green vest. However, under the vest, Ino wore a long sleeved black fishnet shirt. Her long blonde hair was pulled up into a high ponytail with the familiar long strand hanging over the right side of her face.

"She's your jounin exam," Kakashi's voice boomed from behind Sakura, his sudden presence cutting off whatever bitchy comment Ino was about to spout out.

"Hokage- sama," the two kunoichi greeted in unison, bowing in respect.

As Sakura lifted her gaze, she noticed that Neiji, Shikamaru, and Sai were standing behind Kakashi, dressed in their ANBU uniforms but without their masks. Sai frowned at Sakura as she watched him take in her disheveled appearance. Although he seemed to be looking at her disapprovingly, she was secretly happy that he was actually looking at her, and showing some kind of emotion on his face.

_Yeah, it's just too bad that the emotion he's feeling right now is disdain since you look like shit,_ Inner Sakura snapped.

"Sakura, did you hear me?" Kakashi's concerned voice brought her attention quickly away from her inner demon. "Are you ready for the exam to begin?"

"Sorry, Hokage-sama," Sakura said bowing to apologize for letting her inner voice distract her, "I am ready to start the exam."

"Excellent," said Kakashi. "As I said earlier, Ino will be your exam. You two are to engage in combat using whatever means necessary to win. Consider it a rematch of the chunnin exams. That match ended in a draw, but today will determine who the better kunoichi is. Ino, if you win the match, then you will complete this special team I have formed. Sakura, if you win, then you will obtain jounin status and have a spot on the team. Any questions?" When neither girl responded, Kakashi motioned for both girls to take their places.

"Wish me luck Shikamaru," Ino called out stopping a few paces away.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru grumbled, but didn't say anything else.

_Interesting that he actually didn't give the Pig a supportive response, don't you think?_ Inner Sakura mused. _Could it be that he might actually want you on the team?_

"Don't be ridiculous," Sakura whispered, turning to face Ino, and taking a defensive stance.

"This won't be like the chunnin exams, Billboard Brow," Ino taunted, "I will make you quit, and I will take my rightful place as a member of that team. Whatever mission Kakashi-sama has lined up for this team is too important for a failure like you to handle."

Sakura inwardly cringed at the tone of Ino's voice. Before, their banter may have sounded harsh, but there was always a playfulness hidden behind the insults they threw at each other. Now it seemed as if all traces of playfulness were gone from Ino, instead her words were seeped in bitterness. Sakura couldn't help but feel she was to blame for that bitterness. Maybe Ino was right. Maybe she was too much of a failure to handle important missions.

Sakura was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear Kakashi snap his fingers to begin the match. She paid for that distraction with a right hook from Ino. Sakura stumbled in surprise rather than from the force of the blow.

"Wake-up Forehead!" Ino smirked, "We're supposed to be fighting, remember?"

_I hope that snapped you back from your trip down Memory Lane,_ Inner Sakura scolded. _And stop feeling so sorry for yourself, it really is starting to get annoying having to stroke your ego all the time._

"When have you ever stroked my ego?" Sakura snapped.

Ino fixed her with a weird look. "Don't think you can scare me by acting all crazy and talking to yourself." She immediately resumed her attack, delivering a volley of punches and kicks aimed at Sakura's face, but Sakura was ready this time and was able to block each blow. When Ino threw a chakra infused punch aimed at Sakura's stomach, Sakura caught her by the wrist and used the momentum of the punch to throw Ino behind her while sidestepping the attack.

Sakura quickly summoned up two shadow clones and closed the distance between her and her opponent. As she neared Ino, the clones disappeared and Sakura threw a chakra infused punch aimed at Ino's face.

"That trick won't work on me this time," Ino smirked blocking the punch with her forearm. Sakura gasped, amazed that the bone in Ino's arm didn't snap from the enhanced punch.

_I told you your punches weren't being thrown hard enough,_ Inner Sakura tsked.

"However, since you want to bring up old moves," Ino quickly broke her hold and moved her hands in the appropriate seal before shouting, "Mind Body Switch Technique!" Both girls were rendered immobile as Ino took possession of Sakura's body.

Inside Sakura's mind, Ino's attention was immediately drawn to a childlike Sakura huddled over and crying in the surrounding darkness of her mind. She shook her head at how easy it was for her to find her target.

"Nothing much has changed, has it Sakura? You're still just a crybaby," Ino smirked, walking closer to the childlike form and looming over her maliciously, a kunai grasped firmly in her hand.

_What about me Piggy, do you think I haven't changed?_

Ino whirled around at the sound of Inner Sakura's voice against her ear and slashed wildly, her kunai cutting nothing but air. She was brought to her knees by a sudden stabbing pain in her lower back. She turned her head and gasped when she saw the childlike subconscious figure, now standing, with a firm grip on the kunai buried deeply into her back. Her eyes widened in fear as she watched the childlike Sakura, grow and transform into a young woman. She looked exactly like Sakura except for the eyes. Where Ino expected green orbs, she found black gaping holes seemingly trying to suck her into the bottomless hell that resided within this sinister Sakura's gaze.

Slowly, Inner Sakura retracted the kunai and stepped in front of Ino, kneeling down until she was at eyelevel with the blonde kunoichi. Ino screamed as, without warning, Inner Sakura began to stab her repeatedly in the stomach.

_That's right Piggy, squeal._

"Stop it!" Sakura shouted, making the shinobi witnessing the match jump at the interrupted silence. They had all turned their attention to Sakura hoping that she would give them a clue as to what was going on in her mind. Judging by the way she was screaming, they wrongly assumed that Ino was winning the battle.

_But I'm not done carving her up like a Christmas ham, _Inner Sakura pouted.

"Please just stop, I can't stand watching you do that to her here in my mind," Sakura begged, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

_Fine, but just remember, this is favor number two that I have done for you, _Inner Sakura sighed, disappointed that her fun was being interrupted. _I will be seeking repayment soon. _With that ominous statement, Inner Sakura released Ino and disappeared.

"If I were you," Sakura whispered, "I would leave before she comes back."

Needing no further invitation, Ino quickly receded from Sakura's mind and returned to her own body, visibly shaken by her encounter with her former friend's subconscious.

"Y-You c-can't trust her," Ino stuttered, unable to stop her body from trembling in fear. "She's bat-shit c-crazy!"

"Are you able to continue the match?" Kakashi asked, visible eye darting back and forth between the two kunoichi worriedly.

"I-I can't," Ino whispered, "She wants to k-kill me. I saw it in her mind, she wants to t-torture me to death-"

"Shikamaru, take her home," Kakashi instructed as Ino broke down into an incoherent ramble about killer children with kunais and black bottomless pits for eyes. Sakura watched Shikamaru lift Ino up and carry her bridal style away from the Training Grounds. Although she couldn't hear what he was saying to her, she could hear the comforting tone he used as he tried to calm the almost hysterical blonde.

She stared at the ground guiltily, ashamed that she had done that to Ino, a once close friend. She refused to glance up and look at the faces of the remaining shinobi, afraid to see the disgust, or worse yet, distrust, in their gazes. She was barely able to mumble out a thank-you when Kakashi congratulated her on her win.

"You all are to meet me in my office at sun-up tomorrow morning for your first mission assignment. Sai, Neiji, one of you should inform Shikamaru about the meeting as well," Kakashi ordered. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put Sakura on the jounin payroll." With those parting words, Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Sai and Neiji left Sakura without a word, although she did catch the backwards glance Sai threw at her before he disappeared.

_Wow, Kakashi has just declared you all as a team and already you've been abandoned by your team mates,_ Inner Sakura guffawed. _How do you do it?_

Sakura didn't respond. Instead, she stared at the spot Sai had disappeared from and briefly wondered if she would ever be able to be accepted as an actual team mate.

* * *

I hope you liked it! Leave me a review and let me know what you think :)


	5. Drinking Game

I just wanted to start off with an apology for the last chapter...the asterisks that I used to divide different parts of the chapter up with didn't show up when I uploaded, so if you were confused about the rapid jumps I'm sorry. I did fix it though...I know too little too late, but I am sorry. Anyways, thank you again to everyone who has been reading this! It makes me smile to see how much traffic this story has been generating. As always, reviews are welcome and much appreciated.

I wish I owned Naruto, but I don't.

* * *

**Drinking Game**

Sakura stood underneath the scalding hot water from her shower unflinchingly. No matter how high she turned up the water temperature, she couldn't chase away the cold numbness she felt inside. She still felt horrible about what happened to Ino during their match the day before. Any happiness Sakura felt from her victory was squelched with the memory of Ino's haunted face and the hurtful words she stuttered out.

Sakura had immediately begun to wonder if her victory had been worth it. Sure she wanted the promotion and to be able to go out on missions again, but the means used to achieve those goals would not help her regain her honor back. In fact, she was sure the whole village thought she was now a monster. She had kept to the rooftops when she made her way back home, intent on not running into an angry mob out for her blood, again.

When she had finally returned home, there was no welcoming greeting from her parents that awaited her. At dinner, she tried to start a conversation by telling them that she had passed her jounin exam, but their vague indifference to her news only justified her earlier decision to move out. She had spent the remainder of the night in her room, packing up her things and hoping that she would have time to find a new place to live before she had to leave for her first mission. She was determined to not have to return to this house if she could avoid it.

Sighing in resignation, Sakura turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself. After drying off, she used the towel to wipe the steam from the mirror over the sink and stared blankly at the dark smudges that circled her eyelids. She had tried to get a few hours of sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she was greeted with the image of Ino's blood running down Inner Sakura's hands.

_For the last time, I washed my hands okay? Jeez, who would have thought a medic-nin would get so hung up over the sight of blood, _Inner Sakura sniped.

"It's who the blood belongs to that's bothering me," Sakura whispered, keeping her voice low so that her parents wouldn't hear her talking in the bathroom.

_Look, Piggy had it coming, _Inner Sakura sighed._ She invaded my territory first, remember? I was just defending myself._

"That still doesn't make what you did to her right," Sakura countered, dressing in black shorts and a matching black tank top.

_It's not like I permanently damaged her or anything, _Inner Sakura rolled her eyes. _All I did was scare her and put her in her place, something that you could have easily done if you would have put a little more effort into the match. If I were you, I would show a little more gratitude to the only one around here that's on your side. You don't want to start pissing me off…_

"Kakashi-sama is on my side," Sakura said firmly, hoping that she sounded convincing.

_If you say so, _Inner Sakura smirked.

Sakura walked back into her bedroom and stared out her window. She could faintly make out the pinkish hue on the horizon, a sign that dawn was approaching. She would have to leave soon so she could meet with her new team and Kakashi to receive her first assignment. She turned towards her closet to pick out her usual ninja attire, but stopped when she caught a flash of green out of the corner of her eye. Turning towards her bed, she found the green vest of a jounin lying neatly on her comforter with a note folded on top. Curious, she picked up the note and discovered that it was from Kakashi.

**Sakura,**

**Congratulations again on passing your exam. You've made your sensei very proud.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kakashi**

"See? I told you he was on my side," Sakura gloated.

_Whatever, just shut up and finish getting dressed or you're going to be late,_ Inner Sakura seethed.

Sakura smirked, quickly slipping into the vest and pulling on her black gloves. After tying her headband, she stared at herself critically in the mirror. The scarlet hue of her headband clashed loudly with the rest of her outfit, but she didn't care. She liked the fact that it actually stood out.

_Wow,_ Inner Sakura whistled, _You look like a real kunoichi now._

Sakura smiled at the compliment and hurried downstairs to put on her knee-high ninja sandals. As she stepped outside her house, she cautiously peered down the street and was relieved to find that it was empty. It was still too early for most of the villagers to be up and about. She let out a sigh of relief and headed towards the Hokage tower, at least she wouldn't be starting her day with another encounter from an angry mob.

* * *

"Good morning!" Kakashi greeted cheerily behind his desk, sipping from a steaming coffee cup as Sakura walked into his office.

_You can't trust a man that can be so cheery at this godforsaken hour_, Inner Sakura grumbled.

Sakura quickly shut the door behind her and moved to stand beside her three team mates. As she assumed they would be, they were dressed in their ANBU uniforms, but their masks were gone.

"The vest suits you," Kakashi commented, nodding his head towards Sakura in approval.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Sakura blushed.

"I'm sure you all are anxious to learn what your first mission is going to be," Kakashi said, pausing dramatically. He put down his coffee mug and stared sternly at the group before him. "Your first assignment is to build on your team's relationship. I know some of you are unhappy with the new addition, but my decision is final. Your mission will be to learn to accept it."

"Is that a real assignment?" Neiji asked bitingly.

"Did you know that Sakura was attacked by an angry crowd yesterday morning before her jounin exam?" Kakashi asked, ignoring Neiji's rude question.

Sakura immediately felt her cheeks warm in embarrassment. She hadn't told anyone about the incident and wondered how her former sensei had learned of it. She risked a glance at her team mates and was surprised to find that they all stared at her with concern, even Sai. However, as her gaze locked with Sai's he flinched as if she caught him doing something he wasn't supposed to, and she watched transfixed as the emotion drained from his face until it was as blank as a clean sheet of paper. She turned away and brought her attention back to Kakashi.

"What's done is done," Kakashi continued. "We can't dwell on what happened anymore, and I can't have the village attacking Sakura because you all are still resentful towards her for what she did. I know that once you all get over it, the rest of the village will follow suit. I don't care how you do it," he pointed at the three ANBU members, "But hash out your differences with her and do it quickly. The sooner you become an actual team, the sooner you get to leave on the actual mission I have lined up. You're dismissed."

* * *

Once outside the Hokage Tower, Shikamaru stated that he believed they would be able to bond more effectively if they each had one-on-one time with Sakura for the next three days. Neiji and Sai agreed, but Neiji demanded he be allowed to have the first day, stating that he, "Just wanted to get it over with." Shikamaru and Sai agreed and left Sakura and Neiji alone. Sakura couldn't help but notice that her opinion on the matter wasn't asked for.

"Let's go back to your house," Neiji ordered, walking ahead of Sakura.

"Why?" she asked, catching up to him and matching his pace.

"This isn't exactly a conversation I want to have with you out on the street, and you're not exactly welcome at the Hyuuga Compound," Neiji said in a tone that suggested he was talking to a child.

_Oh, I can already tell that this is going to be an exciting day with Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud,_ Inner Sakura muttered sarcastically.

They continued walking down the now crowded street in silence. It didn't take long for the crowd to notice Sakura, and many people stopped to glare in her direction. Neiji's close proximity to her didn't go unnoticed by the crowd, and many of them frowned at the Hyuuga clan member in disapproval.

"I'm sorry you're being caught in the crossfire," Sakura apologized as they walked passed an elderly woman who was shaking her head and muttering about Neiji's poor choice in the company he kept.

Neiji grunted in response, but after casting a quick glance around the crowd, he moved closer to Sakura in an almost protective manner. Although the crowd continued to glare and whisper, no one made a move to act against the pair, and they made it to Sakura's house without any confrontation.

"Why is all your stuff outside?" Neiji asked, pointing to the boxes and suitcase sitting next to the front door.

"Oh, I packed all my stuff last night because I wanted to find an apartment to move into today," she explained, trying to fight back the tears that burned behind her eyes. Although she knew that it was her decision to move out in the first place, it still hurt to see that her parents were unaffected by her decision, and in fact, seemed eager to be rid of her.

Neiji stared at Sakura, hard. She flinched under his gaze, unable to make eye-contact. She wasn't exactly sure what was going on in his mind, but she hoped the awkward moment would end soon. Suddenly, Neiji sighed and stacked the boxes before lifting them.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm moving you into an apartment," he replied as if it was the most obvious answer. "Grab your suitcase and let's go."

* * *

Sakura stared around at her new apartment in amazement. The building was owned by the Hyuuga clan so Sakura had an easy time convincing the landlord to let her move in, although, she could tell by the landlord's disapproving look that if Neiji hadn't of been with her, she wouldn't have been allowed to move in. She tried not to dwell on that fact though, instead, she was grateful that the rent was reasonable and that the apartment size was perfect so she could have guests over.

_That is, if you can find guests to have over,_ Inner Sakura reminded her.

To Sakura's astonishment, she found the apartment to be fully furnished as well. Her bedroom had a decent sized closet, a dresser with a vanity mirror, and the most comfortable king-size bed she had ever seen. She could almost jump for joy at the thought of not having to spend her first night in her new apartment sleeping on the floor.

_Lots of room to roll around in, _Inner Sakura nodded towards the bed. _I approve._

The bathroom, Sakura discovered, was her favorite room in the apartment. The shower was a standard tiled standing shower, and the mirrored sink area was huge, providing her with ample space to place her toiletries and cosmetics. However, her excitement stemmed from the Jacuzzi style bathtub that looked large enough to hold two people comfortably.

_I would have preferred the bathtub be big enough for three people,_ Inner Sakura criticized, _But I guess it will do._

The living room décor was simple, much to her relief. She didn't want a couch that looked so elegant that she wouldn't want to sit on it. Who buys a couch just to look at it anyways? As if to prove her point, she plopped down on one side of the couch and sighed in satisfaction at how comfortably it cushioned her body. She placed her feet up on the coffee table and closed her eyes in ecstasy.

"It's rude to fall asleep when you have company over," Neiji's voice cut in, snapping her eyes open.

"I'm sorry," Sakura said blushing, "I just haven't felt this relaxed in awhile." She quickly stood up. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Just water is fine, since you don't exactly have anything else," Neiji answered.

_Water? Well that's just no fun, _Inner Sakura pouted. _You just moved into an awesome apartment. Why not have a little housewarming party and crack open that bottle of sake I know you've got stashed in your suitcase?_

Sakura ignored her subconscious and walked into the kitchen, Neiji following close behind. She pulled out a glass from the cupboard and turned on the tap from the sink, quickly filling the glass and handing it to him. He accepted it without a word and took a swig.

"Why did you do this for me?" Sakura asked, suddenly. "I was pretty sure you hated me."

"I said I wanted to settle things between us over at your place didn't I?" Neiji responded, dryly. "You didn't have a place to talk, or live for that matter, so I found you one. Simple as that."

_Okay that's it, I can't stand it anymore, _Inner Sakura announced. _If you expect me to not kill Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud then you will provide me with an adult beverage NOW. _

Sakura's eyes widened in panic, but she made no response. She didn't want Neiji to think she was crazy by talking to herself.

_Fine, _Inner Sakura huffed, _If you're not going to be the proper hostess and pour me a drink, then I'll just get it myself. _

* * *

Neiji watched transfixed as Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't think it was because of what he said. He knew he was saying rude things, but he was annoyed. He was annoyed that he had to spend the day with the pink-haired kunoichi to rebuild their sense of comradery. He was annoyed that he had already begun to feel sorry for her when he witnessed the way the other villagers had treated her, and that her parents had basically kicked her out. The only thing about the day that didn't annoy him was the fact that she wasn't acting as crazy as he had thought she would. After witnessing Ino being reduced to a babbling mess, he had assumed that Sakura was still mentally unstable, but her behavior today had proved him wrong. In fact, he had been surprised that she hadn't broken down in front of him yet.

However, as he watched that internal battle wage within the medic-nin before him, he wondered if he was about to see her break down right now. He continued to watch her as a flood of different emotions swarmed across her face prepared to defend himself if she attacked him, until her eyes sparkled in mischief and her lips settled into a smirk.

"How would you like to have something other than water?" Sakura asked in an almost purr.

Neiji frowned down at her in confusion as he watched this different Sakura walk out of the kitchen. He noticed that her walk was different. Instead of walking hunched over as if expecting someone to kick her, she moved with a confidence he had never seen on her before. Her head was held high as she glided out of the room with hips swaying seductively….

He shook his head to stop that train of thought. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he had definitely just missed something. Something that had to do with that internal battle he had just witnessed. Was this what Ino had been screeching about earlier? He turned on his Byakugan and was surprised to see that her chakra signature was different, thrumming with a quiet dark power.

"Tada!" Sakura said returning and holding out a bottle of sake proudly.

"Where did you get that from?" Neiji asked, quickly turning off the Byakugan.

"Don't worry about where I got it from," she smirked, opening the bottle and pouring some sake out into two little shot glasses. She slid one of the glasses down the counter towards her confused guest. He caught it with his left hand effortlessly and stared down at the drink. Sakura held her glass up and gave Neiji a wicked grin. "Just a warning, sake tastes like shit when it's cold."

"You don't expect me to actually drink this do you?" Neiji asked, watching Sakura slam down the shot with ease.

"Why not?" Sakura countered. "Don't you think it would be easier to air out our grievances if we were both smashed? I have a feeling I'd like you more after a few shots. Besides Kakashi-sama said he didn't care how we went about settling things, just so long as we did. Now if I were you," she paused to refill her shot glass and emptied it again in one swig, "I would start drinking now. I don't want you to spend half the night trying to catch up to me."

Neiji sighed, but drank up, wincing as the liquor burned its way down his throat. She had been right, sake really did taste like shit when it was cold.

* * *

After a few more shots they had made it back to the living room, albeit a little tipsily, and crashed on opposite ends of the couch. Although both were feeling the side effects of the drink, Sakura continued to pour them both shots.

"You wanna know something hilarious?" a slightly tipsy Sakura asked, cutting the silence.

"What's that?"

"If Sasuke had succeeded in killing me, I would have been regarded as a hero in the village for dying in the line of duty, even though I still failed the mission," Sakura said, staring deeply into her empty shot glass. "The only difference between that failure and my actual failure is that I'm still alive."

"I think you need another shot," said Neiji pouring Sakura another one, "Because I don't see how that's supposed to be fucking hilarious at all."

Sakura chuckled dryly and drank up.

"Why couldn't you just kill him?" Neiji suddenly blurted out. "Why couldn't you just follow the plan?"

"Getting right to the point aren't we?" she commented before bluntly countering with another question of her own. "Could you kill Tenten so easily if you were ordered to? And before you answer," she continued, holding her hand up to cut Neiji off, "Ask yourself this and be honest, could you really see yourself assassinating your team mate without thinking twice about it? Could you actually watch her die by your own hand and feel nothing?"

"We are shinobi," Neiji answered, "Following orders is what is expected of us." His tone lacked the conviction of his words.

"A nice textbook answer, but it's still bullshit," Sakura said, jumping on Neiji's uncertain tone. "We're people too. A kill order is just a piece of paper, but the execution of a kill order is not so simple. Especially when the target is someone you truly care about."

Neiji was quiet for a long time, letting her words sink in. "If I was in your position, I don't think I could have killed my team mate either," he finally admitted. That confession seemed to have been harder to deal with than he thought because he grabbed the bottle and put it swiftly to his lips in an attempt to take a long swig. "The bottle's empty," he said, disappointment clearly evident on his face.

_And that's my cue to exit,_ Inner Sakura said receding back into Sakura's subconscious. _I think I've gotten my point across._

Neiji watched confusedly as Sakura's facial features molded from the serious yet mischievous girl he had been talking to, into the sad and lonely expression she had worn when he had picked up her things outside of her parent's house. However, he was too drunk to comment on the dramatic change in her personality.

Now that Inner Sakura was gone, Sakura felt the full brunt of her drunken state. "I don't regret what I've done," she said tiredly, staring at the white scars on her wrists. Her head began to feel heavy, and she felt herself leaning further back into the couch, sinking into its comfortable haven. Before she realized it, she had closed her eyes and fallen asleep.

Neiji sighed as he watched her fall asleep and moved to pick her up. He lifted her up gently, not wanting to wake her and carried her bridal style to her bedroom. With the utmost care, he placed her down atop her bed and arranged her into what he hoped would be a comfortable sleeping position for her.

As he stared down at the sleeping kunoichi, he felt a strange sudden impulse. Neiji didn't know why he did it. Maybe it was the weird personality change. Maybe it was the way she had poured her heart out to him. Maybe it was the way she looked so peaceful asleep. But as he lifted his lips from the gentle kiss he had placed on her forehead, he had a suspicion that he should definitely blame the alcohol.

* * *

Let me know what you think! :) Please?


	6. Check Mate

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that I started school this week, but I'm going to try to continue to update at least once a week. I have a bunch of ideas for this story so I plan to continue to write while my muse is still speaking to me (she refuses to let me be at the moment...not that I'm complaining). Again, I have to say thank you to everyone that is reading this, and I really hope you are enjoying it. And thank you to everyone who has favorited/alerted my story, you guys are awesome. Speaking of awesomeness, I have to give a shout out to AnimaniacXOX just 'cuz she has given me some pretty useful feedback which I am grateful for. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and btw I really would appreciate a review :)

Oh yeah, I don't own Naruto...le cry.

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**Check Mate**

Sakura knocked softly on the front door to Shikamaru's apartment. She had finally gotten rid of her headache from that morning with multiple cups of coffee and a long hot shower, but she didn't want to risk making it come back with loud noises. Although she had been pleasantly surprised to wake up and find herself lying in her new bed, she had been less than thrilled when that first dull ache throbbed against the inside of her skull.

"Thanks a lot again for leaving me to deal with the hang-over," Sakura whispered.

_Hey, I don't clean messes, I create them, _Inner Sakura chuckled. _Besides, I mended your friendship with Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud didn't I?_

Sakura opened her mouth to let out a biting response, but quickly shut it when Shikamaru answered the door. To her dismay, he looked as if she had just disrupted his sleep. He was dressed in what she assumed was his normal sleepwear, a white wife-beater and gray sweatpants. "Did I come over too early?" she asked risking a glance at her watch. The time was 11:30.

_I told you, you should have called the Lazy Bum first instead of just showing up at his apartment,_ Inner Sakura chided.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru greeted through a yawn, but opened the door wider to let her into his home.

_I must say, _Inner Sakura remarked, _It's surprisingly clean in here. I bet the Lazy Bum has his mom come over once a week to tidy the place up._

Sakura resisted the urge to nod her head in agreement with her subconscious and followed Shikamaru into his living room. His apartment looked to be about the same size as hers, but he made no move to offer a tour of his place. Following his lead, Sakura settled down on the opposite end of the couch and turned to face the lazy genius. She nervously played with the hem of her black skirt that hung around her bended knees.

She had been dreading this moment, when she would be alone with the shinobi who masterminded the mission she had sole-handedly botched. She remembered how scared she had been when they had all returned to Konoha from the Land of Iron. Shikamaru had regarded her with a cold, hard look and simply walked away from her. She had expected him to berate her for failing, but what he had done instead had hurt worse than any tongue lashing she could imagine. His actions were speaking louder than words. He just simply couldn't stand to be anywhere near her.

_Do you really think that has changed now?_ Inner Sakura asked. Sakura noted the physical distance between herself and her new team mate and wondered if he'd wished she had sat even further away from him.

"So how did your day with Neiji go?" he asked with an uninterested tone, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Fine, I think," she answered with a frown on her face. "He helped me move into an apartment, but then the rest…gets kinda fuzzy."

"What do you mean 'fuzzy'?" he asked, turning to face her.

"Umm, well," Sakura began, embarrassment evident in her warm cheeks, "I offered him a drink and-"

"You were drinking with Neiji!" Shikamaru cut her off, leaning in with sudden interest, a smirk on his face. "And I'd thought I'd never see the day that the prim and proper Hyuuga would engage in such a vice," he added shaking his head in amusement. "First you wipe the floor with Ino and then you get Neiji drunk. I have to hand it to you, Sakura; you certainly are full of surprises."

_I like to be unpredictable,_ Inner Sakura smiled, pleased by the compliment.

"Well we're not going to do anything as exciting as a fist fight or a bottle of sake," Shikamaru continued, unaware of the inner-demon's pleasure. He leaned over the coffee table and pulled out a chessboard. As he began to set up the pieces, he explained, "We're going to play a game of chess. But since you seem to love living dangerously," he looked at her amusedly, "We're going to add a wager to this game. If you win, I'll forgive you for blowing the mission in the Land of Iron. If I win, you have to tell Kakashi-sama you wish to resign from the team."

"Okay," said Sakura slowly, as she moved to sit down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table. She frowned down at the game pieces before her, hoping that she would remember the rules of the game. It had been a very long time since she had played a game of any sort, let alone a game of chess. She had a feeling that she was about to lose to the lazy genius.

_He may be a lazy bum, but he sure does know his shit when it comes to strategy, _Inner Sakura commented. _Oh and by the way, if you lose, don't be surprised when we switch places and I bludgeon the Lazy Bum to death with that chessboard. He can't cash in on the bet if he's unconscious right? _

"Ladies first," said Shikamaru, snapping Sakura's attention away from violent head-bashing thoughts and motioning for her to make the first move.

After moving a pawn forward, she spotted a small bookcase against the wall with a picture of Team 10 during their gennin days. Asuma was in the back smoking a cigarette while his students crowded around in front of him. A smiling Ino, posed as if for a magazine cover, stood sandwiched between Choji while he stuffed his face and Shikamaru with a clearly bored look on his face. "How's Ino?" she asked, breaking her gaze from the image of her former friend.

"Still scared shitless of you," he answered moving one of his pawns forward.

_As she should be,_ Inner Sakura commented.

Sakura winced at the nonchalant way he had answered and moved another pawn forward. "Is she going to be alright?"

"She's not in the crazyhouse if that's what you think," he replied, moving a piece forward and taking her pawn. "Careless," he commented.

"She's home then?" Sakura asked, regarding the game board critically before making her next move.

"She is," Shikamaru began, taking another one of her pieces, "But I wouldn't make an attempt to try to see her if I were you. She's convinced that you shouldn't have been let out of the hospital and that you'll betray us all again." He looked up from the game and stared at her meeting her eyes.

_So Piggy has been telling tales has she?_ Inner Sakura seethed. _I'd like to see her try to talk about us after I've cut her tongue out from that disgusting big mouth of hers._

"I don't know how she could get an idea like that," Sakura said, returning Shikamaru's gaze and silently telling her inner voice to shut the hell up and let her concentrate on the game. Without looking down, she moved another piece forward. "Your move."

Shikamaru glanced down at the chessboard and frowned. When had Sakura's game pieces gotten so close to his king? She had him almost cornered. He saw an opening in her approach, but decided to move his king forward, walking straight into her trap. "I lost, what a drag," Shikamaru sighed.

"You let me win," Sakura said, astonished.

Shikamaru shrugged, acting as if he didn't know what she was talking about. He had let her win, but that was only because he had forgiven her a long time ago. Besides, he was too lazy to hold a grudge for long. "I think it's sweet that you seem to be so concerned for Ino, but I think you should be more concerned for your old team mate. You know Sai is going to be the most difficult one to win over."

"I know," Sakura agreed, sadly. "I just don't know what to say to him. I don't think 'sorry' is gonna cut it."

"Maybe you should just let him do the talking," Shikamaru suggested. "After he's done expressing his feelings, you can decide what to do next."

_Heartless knows how to express feelings? _Inner Sakura chuckled. _Now that's something I'd pay to see._

"I blame myself more than anything for what happened," Shikamaru said meeting Sakura's gaze again.

"Why?" Sakura looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "I was the one that ruined all of your plans."

"I shouldn't have asked you to be a part of the mission," he went on. "I should have considered your feelings for Sasuke."

"So you don't really blame yourself for the failure, you just blame my inability to control my feelings?" Sakura asked weakly.

"Troublesome, that's not what I'm saying at all," Shikamaru muttered trying to clarify. "What I'm saying is that as a strategist, I didn't consider all the factors that could affect the mission. I was just so intent on bringing Sasuke down that I didn't notice you were actually struggling with what I was asking you to do. I should have been paying closer attention to you."

Sakura smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry I was the unknown variable that screwed up your plans."

Shikamaru sighed. She still didn't understand him, but he didn't know how to be any clearer, not when Sakura was still blaming herself for what happened. He wondered if Sai would be able to help Sakura forgive herself, or if the emotionally handicapped shinobi would even be interested in doing such a thing. He was sure that if Naruto was here, he would be able to help her, better than anyone else in the village.

"Let me walk you home," Shikamaru offered, standing up. "I'm going to change my clothes really quick."

"You really don't have to, I'll be fine," Sakura said hurriedly, but he had already left for his bedroom, the tears in her eyes motivating him to hurry.

_I don't think I've ever seen the Lazy Bum move so quickly before, _Inner Sakura quipped.

While Sakura waited for Shikamaru to return, her attention was immediately brought back to the picture of Team 10, her gaze falling on the smiling Ino. A familiar overwhelming sadness clutched at her heart as she stood and grabbed the picture off the shelf. This was the same sadness she had felt that night she had decided to take her life. As she continued to look into Ino's smiling eyes, she couldn't help but feel as if Ino's amusement was stemming from the pink-haired kunoichi, as if she found something funny about Sakura's current situation. Before the medic-nin knew it, her sadness had turned into a fiery anger that threatened to tear its way out of her chest.

She threw the picture on the ground, letting out a sigh of relief after hearing the satisfying crack of broken glass. Bending down low, she picked up a broken shard of glass, staring at it fixedly. She held it up to examine it further and marveled at how the light refracted in small rainbows. Determining which side was sharpest, she ran the shard teasingly over the white scar on her left wrist, gently tracing it. She remembered back to that night, reliving the thoughts that plagued her as the kunai she had used bit into her dainty wrists. She gripped the glass shard tighter in her hand, poised to press down further and reopen the scar.

_Look at her_, Inner Sakura scoffed, snapping Sakura's attention to the photo and interrupting her actions. _Look at how happy she is. She's laughing at you. Do you know why?_

Sakura shook her head no.

_She's laughing at you because she still has her team, and you don't,_ Inner Sakura explained. _Team 7 is broken, unfixable. Sasuke and Naruto will kill each other, and you will be left alone. _

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Sakura asked her subconscious dryly.

_No, but I'm trying to make a point,_ Inner Sakura explained. _You keep letting people hurt you. You're about to hurt yourself because of what the Lazy Bum said. When are you going to learn that instead of hurting yourself, you should hurt other people? That shard in your hand would be put to better use if you scratched out their eyes with it rather than slitting open your wrists. Try it. I guarantee you'd feel a hell of a lot better…_

Sakura stared at the picture on the floor and the glass in her hand curiously. Slowly, as if unsure, she hovered the sharp end of glass above the smiling Ino's face.

_Do it,_ Inner Sakura commanded.

"What are you doing?" Shikamaru asked quietly.

"Nothing," Sakura said quickly throwing the shard in her hand on the floor, trying to shake the feeling of guilt that chased back her subconscious's demonic voice. "I accidently dropped your team photo. I'm sorry." She added the last part hurriedly before quickly attempting to pick up all the broken glass on the floor.

"Don't worry about it," Shikamaru commented, heading for the door. "My mom will be here to clean tomorrow."

Sakura was sure that once Inner Sakura had stopped laughing, her headache would have returned.

* * *

"Have you talked to Naruto at all?" Sakura asked, as she and Shikamaru made their way down the street.

"Not since he left to go train with the Hachibi Jinchuriki," he replied, eyeing the crowd around them warily. He was noticing the way the villagers were eyeing Sakura with disdain, and to his amazement, he was starting to receive similar looks. "Do they really stare at you like this every time you go outside?" he asked, almost in disbelief.

"Yes, but I was only attacked that one time," Sakura explained. "I've been sticking to back streets and rooftops ever since, just to try to avoid crowds as much as possible."

"That's probably a good idea," he commented. They continued the rest of their walk in silence, Shikamaru at the ready to defend himself and his companion if the crowd decided to attack.

"Would you like some tea?" Sakura offered politely when they reached her apartment building.

"Thanks for the offer, but there is something I need to take care of," he declined. "However, I think we should all meet early tomorrow morning for a training exercise. I think exercise might help Sai work off some tension before the two of you attempt to resolve things between the two of you.

"Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow morning then," she gave a small smile and turned to enter her building.

As Shikamaru watched her, he thought back to when he had seen her hunched over the broken team photo with a glass in her hand. He knew if he hadn't of said anything, she would have cut up that picture. The look on her face had given away her intentions, but it was an expression he had never seen her wear before. He didn't quite understand what was going on in her head at the time, but he was sure that there was something strange happening in there. He had heard her talking as if there was someone else in the room with her. That had raised an alarm bell, but he didn't think that it was just her acting crazy. Something else was going on. He began to make his way towards the Hyuuga Compound. He had to know if Neiji had noticed anything unusual about the medic-nin the night before. That is, if the pale-eyed shinobi could remember anything that happened once booze had become involved.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think...por favor!


	7. Portrait of a Girl

Hello all. Let me start out by saying that I had planned to post this last weekend, but as you can see from how long it is, that it took me some time to write this. Did I mention this chapter is long? :) Anyways, like I said during the last chapter, I'm back in school so I'll probably only be able to update like once a week. Unfortuanely as an English major, I have like a paper a week due in either one class or another...I have afeeling by the end of this semester I'm going to collapse in exhaustion, oh well, that's why man invented coffee. Any ways, sorry about the tangent, I tend to get carried away. Thank you again to everyone who takes the time to read this story, I'm still amazed at the traffic this story is receiving :) And thank you to everyone who favorited/alerted this story as well...you guys rock! And of course, my biggest thank you goes out to everyone who has reviewed, I always appreciate the input.

Ugh, I don't own Naruto, but I do own a cat named Buddha...

Oh and I guess I should mention that things turn kind of _adult_ at the end, but nothing that steps out of bounds with 's rules. Besides, I don't think I'd be very good at writing a lemon anyways...

* * *

**Portrait of a Girl**

Sakura was startled by the sound of knocking on her door. She put down her cup of freshly brewed coffee and hurried out of the kitchen to answer it. Wary of the unexpected visitor, she opened the door slightly and peered through the crack. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Neiji.

"Good morning," she greeted, opening the door further to let him in.

"How do you like the apartment?" he asked following her into the kitchen.

"It's nice to be able to feel comfortable in my own home," Sakura answered. "Thank-you again."

Neiji shrugged and grabbed a coffee cup from the cupboard and helped himself to the coffeepot. Sakura smiled at the ease in which he moved around her home. Although technically his clan owned the building, it was nice to think that maybe his ease stemmed from the renewal of their friendship.

_Don't underestimate the power of sake and great company,_ Inner Sakura chided.

"Not that I mind an early morning visit," Sakura began, picking up her own mug and taking a sip, "But what brings you by? We're not supposed to meet at the Training Grounds for another half-hour."

"I'm here to escort you," Neiji said simply, sipping his hot brew cautiously.

"I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going," Sakura said chuckling.

"Shikamaru came over to the Hyuuga Compound last night to speak with me, and after sharing our experiences of being out in public with you, we decided that you shouldn't be walking around the village by yourself."

"I can take care of myself," Sakura snapped. She was pissed that even after all the progress she had thought she made with her two team mates, that they were still making decisions about her without her input.

"No one doubts that," Neiji placated quickly. "We just think that it would be better if the village saw us with you. Kakashi-sama himself said that the village would be more inclined to accept you if you were seen with your new team."

Sakura nodded her head in agreement, but the anger she felt didn't recede.

_You know what to do with that anger, _Inner Sakura whispered antagonistically. _Use it when you're beating the shit out of them during your 'training'. Show them what happens when they incur your wrath._

Sakura felt her lips twitch into a small smirk, lost in her violent thoughts. Neiji watched her closely. He could sense that dark chakra within her again, but resisted the urge to turn the Byakugan on to inspect it further. Neijji and Shikamaru had talked about more than the village's hatred for the medic-nin. They had also talked about the small changes they had noticed in Sakura since she had been released from the hospital. Neiji had become particularly concerned when Shikamaru told him of catching Sakura about to shred apart his team photograph. He was certain that it had something to do with the personality shift he had witnessed two nights ago, and the dark chakra that resided within her.

"I'm ready to leave if you are," Sakura said, disrupting Neiji from his thoughts as she put her emptied coffee cup in the sink. The pale-eyed shinobi followed Sakura out the door and onto the street, watching her carefully. As they made their way towards the Training Grounds, Neiji wondered if he had made a mistake in pissing Sakura off before their training session began.

* * *

Pissing Sakura off had definitely been a mistake, Neiji concluded. His cracked rib and bruised face testified to that fact. He glanced at Shikamaru and saw that the lazy shinobi looked just as tired and haggard as he felt. Sai, he had jealously noticed, had been spared Sakura's wrath. She seemed to be ignoring the artist, saving all of her attacks for Shikamaru and himself. Sai, for his part, didn't really seem to be engaging with her either. In fact, Neiji didn't think he had moved from his spot in the open field, and had instead watched Sakura beat the shit out of his two male team mates single handedly.

"I think I need a break," Shikamaru said through gasps of air, sweat drenching his clothing.

_Beg for it_, Inner Sakura said coyly. Sakura smirked and resisted the urge to repeat her subconscious's words out loud.

"I think I'll sit this one out too," Neiji said quickly before Sakura decided to attack him again.

_Pathetic,_ Inner Sakura commented. _I would have at least thought that someone on the ANBU level would be equipped with more endurance than that. How disappointing._

Sakura watched Neiji and Shikamaru as they walked off a few yards and collapsed in exhaustion. The two began to talk, but they were too far away for her to hear.

_Now what could they possibly be conspiring about?_ Inner Sakura asked. _How much do you wanna bet that they're talking about you? Perhaps they failed to learn how dangerous it is for them to talk about and make decisions for you. I believe another ass-whooping would cure that…_

"Have you worked out all your frustrations?" Sai asked blankly, falling into a defensive position and attracting Sakura's attention. "I have no desire to end up looking like those two," he nodded towards their collapsed team mates.

"They had it coming," Sakura said, shrugging her shoulders and falling into a fighting stance as well.

"And what do I have coming?" Sai asked dryly, his face void of all emotion.

Sakura grinned, wondering if Sai realized the innuendo his question posed. "You tell me," she answered, laughter in her voice.

Suddenly Sai lunged at her, and Sakura was barely able to block a punch aimed at her face. She soon found herself remaining on the defensive as Sai gave her a volley of attacks, throwing a series of punches and kicks aimed at her face and various places on her body. Although she was blocking every attack he threw at her, he was preventing her from unleashing an attack of her own and pushing her back. Vaguely remembering that she would soon back into a dead end of trees, she desperately searched for an opening in his attacks. Catching Sai by his wrist as he moved to punched her, she used his momentum against him, sidestepping the attack and throwing him behind her into the tree.

Sakura whirled around in time to see Sai reverse himself so that he landed into the tree feet first, using it as a spring board to catapult himself towards her. He was moving too fast for her to move out of the way completely and ended up catching a blow to the shoulder.

_That's definitely going to leave a bruise, _Inner Sakura angrily remarked. _You should have_ _predicted that he would recover midair and attack._ _Don't go all soft on me and let Heartless kick the shit out of you._

Sakura ignored the scathing remark and continued sparring, noticing that Sai had not paused to ask if she was okay. It hurt to think that he could be so unaffected when he hit her, as if showing her how easy it was to fight and defeat a team mate, his face arranged in a careful mask. She immediately grew angry. How dare he use this sparring match as a way to chastise her for that shameful failure. She would make him pay. She would make him show some kind of emotion, even if it was just pain.

Sai watched Sakura's face carefully as her expression changed from sadness to anger. He had briefly wondered if he had hit her too hard, but that thought quickly vanished as Sakura landed a kick to his face, knocking him down to the ground.

"You let your guard down," Sakura commented as she picked him up by the collar and readied to land another punch to his face.

_Isn't it funny how much he looks like Sasuke?_ The question from her subconscious stopped her from landing the blow and caused her to drop the artist abruptly to the ground.

"Why did you have to bring him up?" Sakura whispered, backing away from Sai, her anger forgotten.

"Who are you talking to?" Sai asked, staring up at her curiously. He locked his eyes to hers and watched the flurry of emotions she struggled to control. Anger, sadness, and regret, all centered around one person, all emotions she had let get in the way that fateful day. He remembered Ino telling him that he looked like Sasuke. He wondered if that resemblance was the cause for her emotional distress right now.

"I'm just tired," she said quickly, tearing her gaze away from him and turning her back, afraid to let him peer into her thoughts any further.

"I think we should call it quits," Shikamaru's voice carried from where he sat next to Neiji.

"Agreed," stated Sai, regarding Sakura curiously. "Besides, I'd like to break for lunch and allow Sakura to clean up first before we meet up again. I'd rather not draw her while she looks like a sweaty mess."

"You're going to draw me?" Sakura asked, turning around and giving him an astonished look.

_Umm, I think the more important part of that sentence was where he said you look like a sweaty mess,_ Inner Sakura chided. _Are you just going to let him say that?_

"I am an artist, drawing is what I do," Sai commented, putting a finger to his lips as if contemplating something very serious. "I know posing for a portrait is not as exciting as playing a high stakes game or drinking," he paused and shifted his gaze pointedly to Neiji and unknowingly smirked in satisfaction as the Hyuuga blushed, "But I think I should stick with what I know. I'm going to head back and start setting up my apartment." With that, he turned and left.

"Come on, I'll walk you home," Shikamaru said, grinning at the looks of embarrassment on Neiji and Sakura's faces. Sakura just nodded her head and followed her team's leader back to her apartment, ignoring all the glares from the villagers.

* * *

Sakura stepped out of the shower and quickly dried off. "You know, you never answered my question," she said aloud as she pulled a pair of tattered jeans over her underwear-clad lower half.

_And what question was that?_ Inner Sakura asked, pretending to not know what Sakura was talking about.

"Why did you bring up Sasuke?" she asked turning on her blow dryer and beginning to dry her damp hair.

_I was just making an observation, _Inner Sakura replied with a shrug. _I didn't think it was necessary for you to lose your shit just because I pointed out how similar Sai and Sasuke look to each other._

"Yeah well, you're not really known for your sensible thinking are you?" Sakura commented dryly.

_Ouch, _Inner Sakura replied amusedly. _You better be careful, you're sounding more and more like me everyday…_

Sakura ignored the comment and began to contemplate what she should wear for her portrait. She mentally ransacked her closet but couldn't think of anything that really stuck out to her. Turning off the blow dryer, she went into her room and checked her closet to see if she had missed anything during her mental inventory. She hadn't. Sighing, she pulled down a white kimono from its hanger and stuffed it into a messenger bag that already had her make-up packed away. She pulled on a baby pink tank top and jumped at the sound of knocking on her front door.

"Why are you here?" Sakura asked curiously after she opened her door. "I know how to get to your apartment."

"Shikamaru and Neiji told me how hostile the villagers can act towards you, and that they believe it would be better for you if you are seen with your team mates out in public," Sai explained. "But you already knew that," he added coldly.

"I should have known they would have said something to you," Sakura grumbled, grabbing her bag and following Sai outside, feeling stupid for asking a question with such an obvious answer. As usual, it didn't take long for the villagers to notice Sakura's presence.

"Been getting around a lot lately haven't you?" a random man sneered as the pair walked past him.

"I think that man was implying that you are a whore," Sai whispered, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, I think I got that too," Sakura answered dryly, clenching her fists.

"They really do hate you, don't they?" Sai asked quietly, looking around the glaring crowd surrounding them. "I think my presence is the only thing keeping them from stringing you up somewhere and torturing you to death," he added, that contemplative finger gracing his lips.

"Thanks for that image," Sakura said, grimacing at Sai's cold tone.

They continued on in silence until they reached the artist's apartment. Sakura let out a sigh of relief once she was inside. Lucky for her, no one else had been bold enough to say anything nasty to her, and Sai hadn't made any other insensitive remarks.

"I just have to do some last minute things and then I'll be ready," Sai said, closing the door behind his team mate.

"That's alright, "Sakura said looking around at all the various paintings and drawings Sai had hanging on his living room walls. "Do you mind if I change clothes and put on some make-up?"

"Go ahead, the bathroom is behind this door," Sai said, pointing at the door as he continued to walk down the hallway. "I'm just glad that you're not making me draw you while looking like that," he said as he disappeared into his bedroom just in time to avoid the nasty glare Sakura gave him. A hint of a smile unknowingly twitched his lips as he heard Sakura mutter to herself, and he began to gather up his art supplies. He surveyed the space he had set up for her, carefully checking to see if he needed to arrange anything differently.

Satisfied that the setting was perfect, he sat down on his bed and picked up a book that was hidden under a pillow and began to read. The book was about how to talk and act around women. He knew that his relationship with Sakura had always been a strained one, and that her actions in the Land of Iron had just made things even more difficult.

He had been surprised when he experienced the feeling of betrayal for the first time. It had destroyed any progress he had made emotionally, regressing him into an even more emotionless state. He had felt nothing when he heard the news that Sakura had been hospitalized. He knew he should have at least felt something, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make himself feel anything. Not even anger or satisfaction at how she had punished herself. In fact, the first time he had felt anything had been a brief moment of concern when Kakashi had told them that Sakura had been attacked by the villagers. Although he was still acting coldly around Sakura, he did genuinely want to be closer to her. He just didn't know how or if he was able to get past the betrayal that had robbed him of all of his feelings.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with the way I look?" Sakura muttered as she entered the bathroom and dumped the contents of her bag onto the floor. She snatched up a make-up brush and some powdered foundation and angrily began to cover what she deemed as imperfections on her face. She spent a few extra minutes powdering under her eyes, making sure the dark circles there were sufficiently covered. "I mean, I know I'm not exactly dressed appropriately for a portrait, but I didn't want to get those clothes dirty," she continued moving on to blush. Satisfied with the coverage, she opened a small eye shadow case filled with multiple colors. After mulling over which to wear, she settled on black and began smudging the color over her eyelids. She used her finger to smear the eye shadow around the outer corner of her eyes, creating a smoky effect.

_I can't believe you expected anything different from Heartless, _Inner Sakura chided. _I mean you already let him insult your appearance once without reprisal. Did you think he was going to magically learn to respect you after you let him get away with a comment earlier?_

"You'd think he'd be grateful that I wanted to change and put on make-up here so it wouldn't get all messed up," Sakura grumbled, carefully lining her lower lids and waterline with black eyeliner. Mascara and red lipstick completed the canvas that was her face. She quickly undressed and put on the white kimono she had brought with her and regarded her reflection in the bathroom mirror critically. She liked how sultry her make-up job made her look, but it clashed with the innocence the white kimono invoked. She sighed as she concluded that her outfit and make-up didn't match at all.

"Great, now I'm just giving him ammo to use against me," she sulked. She quickly undressed and moved to grab the tissues she had brought with her to wipe her make-up off when her semi-naked reflection caught her attention from the corner of her eye. The smoky eye shadow made her eyes look bedroomy, and the red color on her lips made them look full and pouty. Curiously, she unclasped her pink bra and pulled down her matching panties, letting both fall to the floor. Now completely naked, she studied her reflection intently. Her make-up coupled with the nudity made her look inviting.

_You know you could pose in the nude, _Inner Sakura suggested playfully, echoing Sakura's thoughts. _It wouldn't be that big of a deal, artists have a way of appreciating the beauty of the human body…_

"I don't think so," Sakura said hesitantly, quickly snatching the kimono off the floor and putting it back on. She hurried out of the bathroom, relieved that her subconscious had remained silent and knocked on Sai's bedroom door. What she saw made her think differently about her subconscious's earlier suggestion.

"Oh wow," she quietly exclaimed, amazed at what she saw. Clean, dark blue sheets and numerous pillows covered the king size bed in the middle of the room. Candles of different colors and sizes were scattered around on the floor, windowsill, dresser, and end table, illuminating the room in a soft warm glow. The atmosphere was beautiful and very intimate.

"I figured you'd look better in soft lighting," said Sai, thoughtfully.

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ Inner Sakura seethed angrily. _I swear if you don't do something about that mouth of his, I will_.

"Plus, I read somewhere that girls like candles," continued Sai, not noticing the danger he was in. "But if you don't like it I could set up a different space."

Sakura took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and silently tried to calm her inner voice down. She knew Sai wasn't trying to be offensive, and she struggled with convincing her subconscious to cut him some slack. When she opened her eyes, Sai was staring at her expectantly.

"No, I think this will be fine," answered Sakura. She wasn't sure, but she thought she had seen a look of relief briefly grace Sai's face before returning to his usual emotionless visage. Had her opinion really mattered that much to him? She couldn't stop the small smile that graced her lips at the thought that finally someone from her team was asking for her input, even if it was only about the space she would pose for a portrait in.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable," ordered Sai as he moved to stand behind an easel and canvas he had set up in front of the bed. He heard Sakura climb into the bed and settle in without a word as he set up his ink and brushes on a small table next to him.

"I'm ready," she called, taking his attention away from his final preparations. He nearly dropped the ink bottle in his hand when he saw a naked red-faced Sakura stretched out seductively in the middle of his bed. He wasn't prepared for this. He already had a compliment lined up from his book for whatever ridiculous pose Sakura had planned to strike for this. He racked his brain, trying to remember if he had read what he should do or say if a woman lied naked before him.

"Is this a problem?" Sakura asked, sitting up and looking Sai in the eye defiantly, the embarrassed flush in her face fading quickly.

"No, I think it fits well with the atmosphere," Sai recovered, quickly tearing his gaze away from her and staring at the blank page on the canvas. He had never in his life had a harder time maintaining blank face than he had now. He marveled over the power Sakura seemed to possess over him. In one action, she could strip him of all emotion when he desperately wanted to feel something, but through another action, she could stir his emotions into an uncontrollable mess and leave him struggling to feel nothing. Pleasant surprise and vague indifference fought for dominance over his features while Sakura watched his face curiously, wondering which would win out. His face finally settled in an unfamiliar expression, he couldn't tell what it was. It didn't feel like a smile, but it didn't feel like a frown or a vacant stare either. Whatever Sakura saw, it seemed to satisfy her because she leaned back and settled into the pillows, finally making herself comfortable.

She reclined on her right side, knees bent and pointing towards the right edge of the bed. She moved her right leg up higher towards her so that her left thigh lay atop her right leg, modestly obscuring Sai's view of her womanhood. Her upper body was twisted in the opposite direction of her hips so that her back laid flat against the slight incline of the pillows. Palms slightly closed faced Sai and rested gently on the pillows next to her face. Her face was slightly turned to the right, but her eyes stared intently at Sai. Her shoulder length pink hair framed her delicate face perfectly against the pillows. The expression she wore was both inviting and scared at the same time. The warm candlelight played along Sakura's peach colored skin and didn't prevent her nipples from hardening into pink little buds. Sai thought he had never seen her look more beautiful. Without a word, he picked up his brush, dipped it into the inkwell, and began to draw.

Sakura stared intently at Sai's face as she watched his eyes dart back and forth from her posed form to his canvas as he continued to draw her in silence. His eyes were so cold as he objectively viewed her body before scribbling away. All the emotion from his face was now gone as he went into artist mode.

_Amazing how emotionless he is while he's constructing his work, _Inner Sakura commented. _You'd think that as an artist he would at least have some kind of emotion to put into his work, but I guess he truly does have nothing to give._

Sakura ignored her inner voice and watched Sai's eyes intently, wanting to find some kind of emotion in them that would prove that voice wrong. However, as she searched that emotionless gaze, she only succeeded in stirring up emotions of her own as she was reminded of Sasuke. Sai's eyes reminded her of Sasuke's back when Team 7 was just formed. Although Sai's eyes were void of emotion, she thought she could detect a trace of sadness, as if he was lamenting his inability to feel.

When they were gennin, she had thought that Sasuke's eyes were always sad, a sadness that fueled his need for vengeance. But that had all changed when she saw him in the Land of Iron. She saw that the sadness had turned into a cold fiery hatred that promised to burn everyone his gaze rested on. She had almost been burned by his gaze when he had made multiple attempts on her life.

_And yet you still love him,_ Inner Sakura commented, _And they say I'm the crazy irrational one._

"The expression on your face keeps changing," complained Sai, snapping Sakura out of her reverie, and stopping her from replying to her inner voice.

"Sorry," she apologized softly, molding her face back into the original expression it wore when Sai had started to draw her.

"Don't worry, I'm almost done," reassured Sai. "You'll be able to move around again in no time."

Sakura couldn't help the wanderings of her mind. The intimate setting and Sai's resemblances to Sasuke were messing with her emotionally, and it didn't take long for her thoughts to turn from a reflection on the past to thoughts of a completely different kind. As she patiently waited for him to finish, she conjured up Sasuke's image through Sai's features, and imagined that she was lying before him instead. She stared at his lips and wondered what they'd feel like pressed against her mouth, her neck, her body…

"I think I'm finished," Sai's voice cut in, dissolving her fantasy around her.

"Show me," ordered Sakura, sitting up quickly and hoping he didn't notice the scent of arousal that betrayed her thoughts.

Sai had noticed a change in her scent, but he was too busy noticing that she didn't move to cover herself as he sat down next to her and revealed his work to her. Sakura gasped when she saw the drawing.

_Is this how he really sees you?_ Inner Sakura asked, shock clearly evident in her voice.

Sakura asked herself that same question as she viewed the portrait Sai had drawn of her. The image was completely different than how she had thought she looked. She was sure that the Sakura on the page and the Sakura in real life were two completely different individuals. The Sakura on the page looked strong and powerful. The real life Sakura was not. The Sakura on the page exuded confidence and self-assurance. The real life Sakura does not. The Sakura on the page was not only sexy but beautiful, the shadows and highlights created by the warm candle-glow accentuating her more desirable features perfectly. The real life Sakura wished she could be the Sakura on the page.

The question her subconscious had asked echoed in her head. Did Sai really see this Sakura every time he looked at her, or was he just using his artistic license? Would Sasuke be able to look at her and see her in the same way that Sai had drawn her?

"Do you like it?" fished Sai, watching the flood of emotion wash over her face and worried that she was about to reject his efforts.

"No," began Sakura, "I love it." With lingering thoughts of Sasuke continuing to cloud her judgment, she threw her arms around him and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

Sai sat frozen in her embrace. He could feel her hot breath tickle his neck, her breasts swelling against his chest as she breathed. For the second time that night, Sakura had made him feel completely unprepared for what should have been a simple portrait drawing. But things with Sakura weren't simple. He had learned that back in the Land of Iron. He had known before anyone else that Sakura was planning to face Sasuke alone and that she would fail because she still loved him. He had tried to warn Kiba and Lee that Sakura was about to attack them but she had tried to make him out to be the traitor, using his association with Danzo against him.

Traitor. He had learned to hate that word over the past month as he reflected how biting it sounded coming from her lips while she made the slanderous accusation at him one moment and betrayed the mission the next. And yet, he recalled during their first mission together that she had punched him for calling Sasuke that denigrating word when the title actually fit. He stared down at those lips that dared to falsely accuse him, the same lips that were at such a close proximity to him. As he again began to take notice that she was still naked and pressed up against him, he finally caught the scent of her arousal.

"Thank you Sasuke-kun," Sakura whispered against Sai's neck, lost in her daydreaming and unaware of the costly mistake she had just made.

Like a spell that had been broken, Sai could suddenly feel again. He felt himself succumb to a fiery emotion he couldn't quite identify as he realized that her arousal and display of gratitude weren't because of him. She was acting this way towards him for the same reason she had backed off during their sparring match earlier that day. She was looking at him, but seeing Sasuke. With that realization, Sai finally recognized the emotion that filled him with an intense need to act. He was feeling anger.

Sakura felt herself violently shoved out of her fantasy world as she felt her back collide painfully with the bed's headboard. Stars exploded behind her eyes and blinded her as the back of her head bounced off the solid wood like a ball. Scrambling to regain her senses, she felt steely fingers twine themselves firmly into her hair and pull her swiftly forward. When she regained her vision, she was staring into the eyes of the object of her fantasies, only something was wrong. The voice belonging to those eyes didn't match to that as Sasuke's. With dawning horror, she realized that Sai's face was just inches from hers.

"I am not Sasuke Uchiha," he stated coldly, before crashing his lips violently onto hers, his tongue forcing its way in to dominate her mouth.

Sakura felt herself begin to panic as Sai tore away her first kiss with his demanding mouth. She tried to pull away, but his grip held her firmly in place. She could do nothing as her lips were assaulted with his anger, an anger she suspected, she had sparked when she attacked him during their last mission. An anger that was awakening a volatile emotion of her own, a rage that forced her to kiss him back, her lips and tongue equaling his in ferocity.

Sai released Sakura and broke off the kiss in surprise as he felt his back crash into his mattress and watched Sakura's naked form straddle him. He let out a sharp hiss of breath as Sakura grabbed his wrists and rested his hands against her chest, the warm flesh of her full breasts burning his palms. He was graced with a wicked smile he had never seen adorn her face before as he experimentally began to massage the soft flesh he held cupped in his hands.

_He really should just lay back and let me do all the work,_ Inner Sakura's voice echoed deviously within Sakura's head.

Sakura felt her lips twitch into that wicked smirk and knew she was no longer in control. She was at the mercy of her subconscious's whims and Sai's artful hands. She felt her head toss back as a throaty moan escaped from her lips. A whirl of motion from Sai left her lying on her back and staring hazily into his lust-clouded eyes.

"Do you think you'll win my friendship back if you fuck me? Or do you think I'll be the closest you'll ever get to being with Sasuke?" Sai asked coldly before crashing his lips against hers again.

His words cut through her rage with knives as cold as his tone, quelling the fire within her and leaving her with a numbing sadness. That sadness chased back the rage and temporarily exorcised her of that inner mischievous demon.

"I won't let you make me do this," Sakura whispered aloud, speaking to the demon she had chased back to a far corner within her mind. Unfortunately, her subconscious was not the only one who had heard her.

Sai flinched away from her, rolling off of her and directing her with a cold gaze. He was more upset at himself for allowing Sakura to break his control and invoke such a passion within him. "You know," he began, speaking his thoughts aloud carelessly, "That man we had passed on the street earlier was wrong about you. You're not a whore. You're just a tease."

Sakura visibly cringed and moved up off the bed, wanting to distance herself from Sai as much as possible. She quickly gathered her things and dressed. She snatched the discarded drawing from the bedroom floor, rolling it up and putting it into her bag without looking at the sketched image. With Sai's eyes watching her every movement silently from his bed, she quietly left without a second glance. It wasn't until she had made it safely home that she realized nothing had improved between herself and Sai. In fact, she was fairly certain that things had just gotten worse.

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I hope you all like it...Just an fyi, this is not going to be a SaiSaku fic...Nothing against the pairing, I just am not planning on developing this story with that pairing. Questions, comments, concerns?...Review me!...Please?


	8. The Morning After

Ok so it's been like almost three weeks...I'm sorry! School has just been a lot more demanding than I thought it was going to be. In my Dreams, Delirium, and Disaster class we're reading the first volume of _In Search of Lost Time_ by Marcel Proust and let me tell you, Proust is a difficult read. However, we're almost done with it so hopefully I'll be able to spend more time working on this fic so I can update faster.

Anyways, I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for making you wait so long. I hope you enjoy it, and please review!

I still don't own Naruto, if I did I wouldn't have to read Proust.

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**The Morning After**

_Are you going to be sulking like this all morning? _Inner Sakura asked irritably.

Sakura purposefully ignored her subconscious and poured herself a cup of coffee.

_I got a little carried away last night, so what?_ Inner Sakura snapped. _I mean it's not like I was the only one. You were the one who ultimately decided to pose in the nude; I was just going with the flow._

"Don't put all this on me!" Sakura cried outrage.

"Who are you screaming at?" asked a voice asked from behind Sakura. The medic-nin whirled around at the unexpected intrusion and came face-to-face with Neiji. The said Hyuuga was fixing her with a look that clearly said he was questioning her sanity.

_Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud seems to look at you like that a lot doesn't he?_ Inner Sakura asked, smirking.

"How the hell did you get in?" Sakura asked, slightly panicked by the unexpected visit.

"Through the front door," he answered as if it was the most obvious answer in the world and poured himself a cup of coffee. "I rather enjoyed the coffee you made yesterday morning and decided that I would like to have another."

"And what would you have done if I was still asleep or if there was no coffee?" Sakura asked, adjusting her robe more securely around herself and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I would have waited until you made some," Neiji replied coolly, closing his eyes and enjoying the first sip of the fresh brew.

"Of course you would have," Sakura mumbled. Although she was not in the best mood, and his visit was unexpected, Sakura was pleased by Neiji's continued ease around her. She could get used to this if it became a routine.

"So where is the portrait Sai drew for you?" Neiji asked, cutting into her thoughts.

"Umm…" Sakura blushed and hurriedly tried to think of an excuse. She had no intention of showing that portrait to anyone, least of all Neiji. It was bad enough that she had gotten him drunk one night, she didn't want to show him what she looked like naked, even if it was for artistic purposes.

_I don't think Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud's reputation would be able to take it,_ Inner Sakura sniped wickedly. _On the other hand,_ she continued grinning devilishly, _He might actually like what he sees…_

Neiji watched Sakura's cheeks flush to such a deep crimson, he was almost afraid that she had broken out into a sudden fever. "Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine," Sakura said hurriedly as she scrambled to recover herself. "The portrait didn't turn out so well, so we scrapped it."

"That's a shame," Neiji said.

Silence filled the room as Sakura watched Neiji continued to drink his coffee. She sighed inwardly, wishing that she could tell him what really happened between her and Sai last night, but somehow she thought the Hyuuga wouldn't be interested in what was clearly girl-talk. Sadness squeezed her heart painfully as she realized just how much she missed Ino. Ino would be the perfect person to tell something as confusing and embarrassing as this, especially since the blonde kunoichi also admired Sasuke. Surely Ino would be able to understand her feelings and might be able to explain why she was projecting Sasuke's image onto Sai. Maybe she should stop by the flower shop and see if she could…

_You will NOT lower yourself by seeking advice from Piggy,_ Inner Sakura commanded. _If female companionship is what you need, you can always confide in me…_

Sakura snorted at her subconscious's suggestion and was greeted with a confused look from Neiji. Speaking of female companionship…

"When was the last time you hung out with Tenten?" Sakura asked suddenly.

The question threw Neiji off-guard. He was seriously considering taking her to the hospital to be examined when she had asked him what he thought was a completely random question. "Let's see," he said seriously considering the question, "Probably not for a few weeks. Maybe around the same time you joined our team."

"Don't you think you should go and see her?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Why?" Neiji countered.

"Because I'm sure she misses you. Didn't the two of you always used to train together when you were on Team Guy?"

"I see your point," Neiji said finishing his coffee and placing the empty cup in the sink. "I guess it would be a good idea to see her, especially since we will be leaving for that mission soon."

"Have you heard anything about it?" Sakura asked.

"No, but we do have a meeting with Kakashi later this evening. I'm sure he'll brief us then." Neiji made his way towards the door. "Thank you for the coffee, I'll see you later."

"Tell Tenten I said hi," Sakura added as she watched Neiji leave.

"I will," Neiji said quietly. He considered the implications of that statement. He knew that like everyone of the Konoha 11, Tenten had been furious with Sakura's betrayal, but he wondered what the weapons mistress thought now. Did she still harbor a grudge? If she did, he was sure that he could convince her to let it go. He could tell that Sakura desperately needed a girl to talk to. He knew there were some things that only another woman could relate to, and since Ino was dead set against her, Sakura needed to find a new close female friend. He hoped he could make it happen for her.

"I'll see you later," Sakura called as Neiji opened the door.

"Shikamaru, you're up early," Neiji said as he stepped outside and held the door for the lazy genius. "You should try Sakura's coffee, it's amazing."

"Great for getting rid of a hangover, right?" Shikamaru teased.

"You'll never let that go will you?" Neiji asked, sighing dejectedly.

"Absolutely not," Shikamaru countered. "I'll see you later at the meeting,"

Neiji nodded and walked off, intent to find Tenten and hopefully secure a female friend for his team mate.

* * *

"So what brings you out of bed so early in the morning?" Sakura said, pouring both herself and Shikamaru coffee.

"Kakashi-sama wants to meet with us this evening," Shikamaru said, accepting the offered mug.

"Neiji told me," Sakura said taking a sip. "But I somehow doubt that's the reason you're here."

Shikamaru gave her a knowing smile, "Can't a guy just check in with his fellow team mate?"

"You're too lazy to not do anything without a purpose," Sakura commented, rolling her eyes.

"You wound me," Shikamaru feigned.

Sakura smiled playfully.

"In all seriousness though," Shikamaru began, adorning a bored look, "Kakashi-sama will want to make sure that we've settled our differences before he determines us ready for this mission. As team leader, I just want to know how do you feel about your relationship with us?"

"How do I feel?" Sakura asked. That was a question that had haunted her while she stayed in the hospital. Her doctors had asked her that question over and over until she had snapped at failing to find an answer that seemed to satisfy their question. She had gone catatonic to escape that never-ending question, and its ability to force her to analyze herself and awaken the feelings that she struggled to suppress. "I feel fine."

"I see," Shikamaru said, clearly unconvinced. "So tell me what happened between you and Sai last night," Shikamaru said, folding his arms across his chest boredly.

"There's nothing to tell," Sakura answered carefully.

"Funny," the lazy genius said with a grin, "Sai told me the same thing."

"Then why are you asking me if you already talked to him?" Sakura asked irritated.

"I wanted to gain your perspective," he shrugged.

_Why not just tell the Lazy Bum what happened? _Inner Sakura surmised. _It'll get rid of him and his questions, and you won't need to seek female companionship since you'll have this problem off your chest._

"Things between Sai and I are not resolved yet," Sakura admitted quietly. "In fact, I think they might be worse."

"Worse? What did you do, mistaken him for Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked jokingly. The stoic look he received from Sakura wiped the grin right off his face. "You didn't."

"I just got caught up in the moment and it slipped out and then it all just kind of got…complicated," Sakura explained in an awkward rush.

"You need to work this out before Kakashi-sama's meeting tonight," Shikamaru said seriously.

"I know but I'm not sure how," Sakura said, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"Well you better figure it out and fast," Shikamaru said grabbing her wrist and beginning to lead her out of the kitchen. Sakura barely had time to place both of their empty mugs on the counter before the Lazy Bum, as her subconscious so lovingly called him, shoved her out the door.

"Shikamaru, I'm still in my PJ's!" Sakura objected loudly as he led her down the street.

"You look fine," he answered, risking a glance and sighing in relief that she was just wearing a blank tank top and matching sweatpants. He would have felt ridiculous if he had dragged her out of her apartment and failed to notice her in risqué sleepwear. As he continued to lead the medic-nin, he was oblivious to the hostile crowd around them, lost in thought with the predicament of his team's fragile relationship.

He knew that Sai cared for Sakura, or at least felt something that resembled caring. He knew Sai had been really upset with what Sakura had done, not just catching him by surprise and knocking him out, but the attempt at suicide as well. He assumed that the usually stoic-nin was probably confused by his conflicting feelings over the pink-haired kunoichi and had most likely said some rather careless things. However, he did wonder about the details of Sakura's part in the fiasco that occurred last night, but he was too squeamish to ask for her to elaborate. As they stopped in front of Sai's door, Shikamaru silently hoped that the two would be able to settle whatever awkwardness that transpired quickly. He didn't think Kakashi would be patient enough to wait for another week.

* * *

"What do you want?" Sai greeted coldly.

_You would think that the Lazy Bum would have at least had the courtesy to explain what's going on to Heartless instead of just knocking and abandoning us like that,_ Inner Sakura grumbled.

"We need to talk," Sakura answered, pushing her way into his apartment. Betting that the living room would be safer than the bedroom, Sakura quickly sat down on the couch and waited for Sai to give her his full attention. "Besides, weren't you the one who said that once my team affiliation was determined we could talk about team dynamics?" she asked dryly.

Sai's face remained blank, unaffected by Sakura's use of his own cruel words against him. "Did you want to talk about last night?" he asked innocently, sitting down on the couch and turning to face her.

"Of course I want to talk about last night, we need to be able to prove to Kakashi-sama that we are a unified team today and we can't do that if things remain the way they are between us," Sakura said.

"Isn't it funny how things have changed," Sai began coldly. "When I first joined Team 7, I was the one struggling for your acceptance. Now you've joined my team, and you're struggling for my acceptance."

_Heartless certainly isn't going to make this easy is he? Maybe fucking him would have been the less complicated route after all,_ Inner Sakura commented.

"I don't exactly know what you want from me, Sai. I—"

"No Sakura," cut in Sai, "I am not the issue here, you are. I know that I may say things that are not socially acceptable, but that is because I am just now starting the socialization period of my life that was denied to me as a child. However, contrary to what you might think, I do have feelings, and you manipulated them last night because you still can't get over Sasuke. I don't understand it, why do you keep destroying your life and your relationships with other people for someone who could care less about whether you live or die? Why can't you look at me and see me instead of some ghost from your past? I meant what I said, I am not Sasuke Uchiha. When will you realize that I'm more than just his replacement to Team 7?"

Sakura cringed as Sai's tone had changed from cold and emotionless, to heated and desperate. She felt horrible that she was the cause for his emotional confusion because of her foolish and selfish attachment to Sasuke. She had thought that Sai's friendship would have been the most difficult to win back because they were team mates, and she had deceived and attacked him. She had no idea that the real reason why she would have such a hard time was because every time she looked at him she thought of Sasuke. She thought back to the crude question he had asked her last night and realized that he had intended that question to help her decide what the motives of her actions were last night. Was she really trying to improve their friendship, or was she just trying to play out her obsession with Sasuke by transferring her feelings onto Sai?

_Wow, Heartless actually does have a point doesn't he?_ Inner Sakura asked. _See, I told you last night wasn't my fault. Who would have thought that Heartless would be pleading my case for me?_

"You're right," she said finally, addressing both her team mate and the voice in her head. "I'm sorry I've been so unfair to you." She looked up at Sai, tears streaming uncontrollably from her eyes. "Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

Sai stared at her shocked. He didn't mean to make her cry. He knew that the pink-haired kunoichi had suffered enough, but she had to understand that she had brought the pain upon herself. It seemed that she was finally realizing that now, but he wondered if it would really change anything. If he granted the absolution she so desperately needed, would she mend her ways? He doubted that she would renounce her love for Sasuke, but that's not what he wanted was it? No, what he really wanted was the genuine friendship that they had always lacked. He wanted her to help socialize him, and in return, he would help ease the pain she was always so intent to inflict on herself.

Coming to a final decision, Sai did something completely unexpected and out of character. He wrapped his arms around the medic-nin and whispered in a comforting voice, "I forgive you, Sakura-chan."

The relief that filled Sakura's heart was so overwhelming that she began to cry even harder, sobbing uncontrollably into Sai's shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," she repeated over and over, like a mantra that would protect her from making the same mistake twice and confuse Sai with Sasuke.

Sai kept embracing Sakura, letting her cry all over him until she had regained control of herself. He knew that she hadn't gotten rid of all the pain that she was intent to carry within her, but he was glad that she had allowed him be a friend and grant her relief, even if it only was temporary.

He hoped Naruto would be happy at least, the Jinchuriki had entrusted Sai with taking care of Sakura. Although Sai knew he had failed when he allowed his resentment to hold him back from confronting Sakura when they first returned from their mission and settle their differences, and the result had led to her almost successful suicide and a deteriorated mental state, he hoped that the ramen loving-nin would see that Sai was trying to better things now. He had given Sakura his forgiveness, but he hoped that both she and Naruto would be able to forgive him for his part in the pink-haired kunoichi's current sad state.

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So tell me what you think! Reviews make reading Proust easier, you all do want me to get a good grade right ;)


	9. You Can Never Come Back

Hey everyone! I'm super excited because I just got back from a little road trip with my friends, and I proved myself as a strong independent woman of the 21st century by changing a flat tire by myself in the rain. I think I deserve a handclap :). Anyways, I am officially done with Proust and my homework load looks like it's easing some, so hopefully I'll be able to upload more often/regularly. Anyways, I want to thank everyone for reading/alerting/favoriting and especially those that have been reviewing. I appreciate the kudos, criticisms, and advice. So on that note I'm going to revive an old deal that I had: leave me a review and I will do the same for one of your fics. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy!

Sadly, I still don't own Naruto, if I did I wouldn't have had to change a flat tire by myself in the rain...I would have had some uber sexy shirtless man do it for me ;)

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**You Can Never Come Back**

Sakura had spent the day with Sai at his apartment. With their friendship now mended, she was able to learn more about Naruto's whereabouts since she had last seen him. She wasn't surprised to learn that Naruto was able to convince the Eight Tails Jinchuriki to help him learn to control his own tailed beast.

_Foxy always has a way with people doesn't he?_ Inner Sakura had commented.

Sakura was inclined to agree with the voice in her head and was curious about his progress. She knew that by taming the demon within him he would not just gain more abilities, but also a better insight of who he was as a shinobi. She was more curious to see Naruto as the more matured shinobi than the more powerful Jinchuriki.

"I suspect that the mission Kakashi-sama has in store for us has something to do with aiding Naruto," Sai speculated.

"What makes you think that?" Sakura asked.

"Well, Kakashi-sama has kept Shikamaru, Neiji, and I updated on Naruto's progress before you joined the team. Once you joined the team, the updates stopped which leads me to believe that Naruto has successfully gained control over the Kyuubi," Sai explained thoughtfully with a finger to his lips.

"Or Kakashi-sama didn't want you all to tell me about what was going on with Naruto," Sakura said sadly.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Shikamaru, suddenly walking in the front door followed by Neiji.

"Yeah," the Hyuuga added, "Stop thinking everyone in this village is against you. It wouldn't make any sense for Kakashi-sama to want to hide information about Naruto's training from you."

"He probably just didn't want to give away too much information about the upcoming mission until he was sure our team was solid," Shikamaru agreed.

Sakura still looked unconvinced, but kept silent.

"Speaking of mission," Sai began, "I guess we should all head to the Hokage's office to get briefed." He stood up and walked to his other two team mates by the door. "You coming?" he asked, turning to the still seated kunoichi.

"Yeah," Sakura sighed standing up, "But I wish I wasn't still in my PJs." She brushed off her sweatpants in disapproval.

"Why would you leave your house dressed so inappropriately?" Neiji asked.

"It's not like I had a choice," Sakura countered, glaring daggers at Shikamaru.

"Hey we were pressed for time," said Shikamaru. "Just like we are now."

"Don't worry," Sakura said with a wicked smile, the same smile that all three ANBU members had witnessed when they were alone with the medic-nin, "I'll make sure to make you pay later."

Shikamaru swallowed uncomfortably, while Neiji looked away, cheeks slightly flushed by the innuendo implied with her statement. Sai just stared at her curiously, his head slightly tilted to the side.

Sakura, with her head held high, moved past her team mates and walked out the door. As the ANBU members trailed out behind her, she desperately held in the evil laughter that echoed in her head and threatened to spill out her lips. She wasn't at all worried that Inner Sakura had surfaced and briefly dominated her personality. Perhaps she should have been concerned with the ease in which her subconscious could gain control over her.

* * *

"So it's all been settled then?" began Kakashi. "There are no more grievances to air out?"

"No Hokage-sama, we're ready," Shikamaru confirmed confidently.

Kakashi glanced at each member of the team before him, assessing the validity of Shikamaru's statement. "Alright then," he stated, satisfied. "As you all are aware of, we are now entrenched in war, and the Akatsuki must be stopped at all costs. Unfortunately, wars tend to have a nasty habit of lingering for years, but I am determined to end this as quickly as possible."

_Listen to that arrogance,_ Inner Sakura scoffed. _You're all fools if you think Madara is going to be so easy to defeat._

"Naruto has succeeded in taming the Kyuubi," Kakashi continued, unaware of the subconscious voice dwelling within his former student. "I am confident that he will be able to resolve this conflict, and you all are going to help him do it. You all have been assembled as an offensive tactical team that will help Naruto and our allies bring the fight directly to the Akatsuki. You all will leave at sunup tomorrow."

"You're putting all of your faith into Naruto because of what he said during that mission in Iron?" Sakura asked quietly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her former sensei was asking her to help Naruto carry out his promise to Sasuke. She couldn't block out those horrible words Naruto uttered that had sent her over the edge. She wouldn't be able to bear watching them kill each other before her eyes.

Kakashi nodded at Sakura's question.

_Keep it together…you don't want them to send you back to the loony bin do you?_ Inner Sakura warned. Sakura took a deep calming breath and tried to relax.

"I know this is hard for you, because of everything that happened and how it has affected you mentally, but I need to know Sakura, will you be able to handle this?" Kakashi asked. Everyone turned to the medic-nin and gazed at her expectantly.

_Still questioning our abilities, eh?_ Inner Sakura tsked. _I swear, I don't understand why we haven't left this village behind and struck out on our own. It seriously is not worth hanging around these people if they're going to continue to doubt you. Honestly, we don't need them or their complicated bullshit politics._

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll be fine Kakashi-sama," Sakura answered ignoring her inner voice, but she couldn't chase away her piqued interest at the thought of running away.

"Good," Kakashi said nodding his head in satisfaction. "I suggest you all pack and settle any affairs before you leave. Good luck."

* * *

"So we'll meet at the village gates at dawn," Shikamaru said, once his team was standing on the street outside of the Hokage Tower.

"Sounds fine with me," Sakura said beginning to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Sai asked. He had seen the look on Sakura's face when they had learned what their mission was, and he had been concerned for her. She looked as if she had been lost in some internal dialogue, and he was curious as to what she was thinking.

"I'm following orders and settling my affairs," Sakura called over her shoulder. "I'm going to visit Tsunade-shishou in the hospital."

"Do you want some company?" Neiji called after her.

"I'll be fine. The streets are hardly crowded this late at night," she answered without breaking her stride. Her mind was still reeling at the possibility of witnessing the deaths of her former team mates, and she desperately needed some guidance. Although her shishou wouldn't be able to answer her, she would at least be able to listen to what she had to say, and hopefully, that would bring her enough comfort to carry out this mission. She needed to be brave, and no one had been better at whipping Sakura into shape and preparing her to deal with life's difficulties than Tsunade.

_I think I've done a pretty good job so far,_ Inner Sakura sulked, jealously. _I don't see the point in talking to someone who won't be able to respond. Don't you think it would be better to confide in someone who could actually give you sound advice, like me?_

"I would never call anything you ever had to say 'sound advice,'" Sakura snorted when she was out of earshot of her fellow team mates.

_You're an ungrateful bitch, you know that?_ Inner Sakura huffed.

Sakura smiled and tried to suppress a giggle. "What's got your panties all twisted?"

_I'm just not exactly thrilled to be visiting the woman who's responsible for locking me away in the first place. All I tried to do was demonstrate your power and the Old Bitch ended up flipping out and sealing me away. _

Sakura wished she remembered the events of that day better. Back when Tsunade had first taken her on as a pupil, Sakura had struggled through the training. Tsunade had quickly become frustrated and began to question whether it had been worth to take Sakura on as a student at all. Feeling insulted, her subconscious had taken over. Sakura didn't know what her inner demon had done. All she knew was that one minute she was being screamed at by her shishou, and the next her shishou had been bloodied and chakra drained, muttering something about how dangerous that inner voice was and how Sakura would one day succumb to its control if it hadn't of been sealed away.

"Can I trust you to behave?" Sakura asked carefully, stopping outside of the hospital entrance.

_I promise you, if anything happens to the Old Bitch, it'll be because of your actions,_ Inner Sakura tried to smile innocently. _Cross my heart._

"Somehow I'm still not convinced," Sakura muttered before entering the doors. Nervously, she looked around and sighed in relief to find the staff too busy to notice her presence. She had been afraid that she would be ordered to leave as soon as she stepped foot on the premises. Not wanting to press her luck by lingering in the lobby, she moved quickly down the winding halls and stairways until she stood outside of the room of the person she had been avoiding since her return from Iron.

Tsunade laid comfortably comatose, tucked securely into her hospital bed. If it wasn't for the continued whirl and beeps of the hospital's machines, Sakura would have thought her shishou was just resting for the night, recharging before resuming her Hokage duties.

_Oh how the mighty have fallen_, Inner Sakura quipped as Sakura took a seat next to Tsunade's bed.

"No need to sound so bitter," Sakura chided. "Shishou, can you hear me?"

_She's in a coma you moron, she can't answer you,_ Inner Sakura sniped.

"A lot has happened since you've been gone," Sakura whispered to her shishou, ignoring her inner voice. "I'm such a mess. I've fucked up horribly, Shishou, and I don't know how to fix it." She took a deep breath, trying to gain control of her emotions, and then like a breached floodgate, everything came out in a rush.

"I tried to kill myself, Shishou. I couldn't deal with the shame and the blame for failing. I couldn't deal with the fact that I still love _him_. I was so alone. Naruto wasn't there, no one was there." Her voice cracked, a telltale sign that she was about to cry.

_I know you didn't delay your visit to the Old Bitch just so you could throw your training out the window and sob all over her like some pathetic child,_ Inner Sakura scolded. _You could at least act as if you were trained by a legendary sannin._

Sakura clenched her fists in anger at the berating tone in her voice. "She's back Shishou," Sakura whispered. "She's back and I can't get rid of her. I don't know how and—"

_What do you think you're doing?_ Inner Sakura interrupted, her quiet tone threatening. _Did you think that if you came in here and told her all your troubles, that she would magically wake up and make everything right again? Come on Sakura, you know better than that._

Sakura looked down at her comatose shishou forlornly. Shame burned her cheeks as she let her subconscious's words sink in. That mischievous voice was right, she couldn't expect Tsunade to just wake up and right all the wrongs in her life for her. Tsunade had trained her and given her strength so she could solve her own problems.

_You need to be strong,_ Inner Sakura continued, knowing that she was gaining influence. _Pull the plug Sakura,_ Inner Sakura commanded. _Don't let your precious shishou suffer like this._

"What?" Sakura's eyes widened in confusion at the sudden change in subject.

_You heard me,_ Inner Sakura countered. _You need to let go. She can't help you anymore. She's not going to wake up. Look at her hooked up to all those machines to keep her alive. You're a medic, you've read her file and the conclusions the doctors have come to. The only things keeping her alive are those machines. The machines are causing her to linger and suffer. You should help your shishou and set her free…_

Sakura stared at the plug in the electrical outlet beside her. She had thought about pulling the plug before, back when she had first read the reports on her shishou's condidtion. However, it was against the oath she had sworn when she had first learned medical ninjutsu. She had sworn that she would take whatever means were necessary to keep any patient or injured person alive, and now her resolve to that oath was being tested. She had come to her shishou because she needed someone who would just be able to listen to her and not pass judgment. She didn't think she would end up debating with herself over helping her shishou die. She was emotionally confused and didn't know what to do.

_Think about what your shishou would want, _Inner Sakura continued persuasively. _Would she want to ride out the rest of her miserable existence hooked up to machines, or would she want to be allowed to die and be remembered as a hero who sacrificed her life to protect the village from Pain's invasion?_

Sakura didn't even realize that she had fallen under the influence of her inner demon's words until she heard the plug clatter onto the floor. Panicking, Sakura shot out of her chair and rushed out the window, keeping to the rooftops as she made a mad dash back to her apartment.

Sakura should have stayed. If she had, she would have been greeted by the now very conscious and alive Tsunade.

* * *

"What did you make me do?" Sakura whispered, wringing her hands as she paced back and forth in her bedroom.

_Shouldn't you be packing for your mission?_ Inner Sakura countered in a bored tone.

"I just killed my shishou!" Sakura shouted half-deranged. "And you want me to just act like nothing happened?"

_No one saw you do anything, _Inner Sakura argued. _No one can prove you did anything as long as you act like you didn't do anything._

"I won't be able to come back," Sakura whispered sadly.

_Not exactly a bad thing_, Inner Sakura remarked. _Look, do you really want to live in a village that is out to get you? No matter what you do, they'll never forgive you._

"Of course not, I just killed the Hokage!" Sakura cried in despair. "This is what you wanted all along isn't it?"

Inner Sakura merely shrugged at the accusation.

"Why? Why would you do this? We were making so much progress!" tears began to spill down Sakura's eyes. "I was developing friendships again, I wasn't going to be alone anymore…"

_You don't need anyone else but me, Sakura. It would be so much better for you if you remembered that,_ Inner Sakura sneered. _Now if I were you, I would pack for a very long journey._

Sakura wiped the tears angrily from her face and began to quickly pack. As she opened one of her drawers and grabbed a handful of clothes to shove into her bag, a folded up piece of paper fell out onto the floor. Sakura stared at the paper transfixed. She knew what it was. It was the portrait that Sai had drawn for her. Tentatively, she reached out and picked it up before unfolding it. As she gazed down at the sketched image of the woman she wished she could be, she wondered if she would ever be able to obtain that goal.

_I can help you with that Sakura,_ Inner Sakura said firmly. _I am helping you do that right now. So hurry up and pack, it's almost sunrise._

"What am I going to do about my mission?" Sakura asked.

_Don't worry, we're still going on that mission. I doubt anyone even knows what has happened yet, and once they do find the Old Bitch dead, we will be too far away for them to do anything,_ Inner Sakura reasoned. _Trust me, I know what I'm doing._

Sakura nodded and finished packing, and dressed in her mission clothes. She felt like a hypocrite donning the green jounin vest over a black mesh top and matching black form-fitting shorts. Here she was, having just finished murdering the Hokage, and now she was wearing the uniform of a loyal Konoha soldier. She shook her head of those thoughts though, as she hurriedly folded up the portrait and stuffed it into her pocket. Confident that she had everything she needed, she walked out the front door for what she sadly knew would be the last time. As she headed down the still darkened village streets, she hoped that when she did finally slip away from her new team mates, that they would somehow find a way to forgive her.

* * *

Let me know what you think! I'm already working on the next chapter but I'm always open to new ideas...and remember my offer from above (I am a woman of my word). Thanks again!


	10. Meeting Again for the First Time pt1

Hello all my favorite lovely people! I'm in an extremely good mood today because I just realized that the semester is like half-way over and I am one semester closer to getting my degree...but enough about me. I want to thank everyone who has been reading/alerting/favoriting this, but I especially want to thank three chicas (I'm assuming you're chicas) who have kinda been consistent in reviewing. **AnimaniacXOX**, **Kaysty**, and **LadyNorth76** are amazing and I wanted to say how much I appreciate you all for taking the time to review and for the advice and support :)

This chapter is turning out to be a lot longer than I originally thought it was going to be so I'm posting part of it, but don't worry, it's a pretty long part. I want to give the ending of the actual chapter justice since it's a pretty significant part, but I don't want you all to be waiting forever for an update either. So here's part one, I hope you like!

I wish I owned Naruto, that way I could pay off my student loans with the quickness...Do you think Kishimoto would pay them for me if I asked nicely?

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* * *

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**Meeting Again for the First Time**

As Sakura made her way down the village streets, her gaze was glued to the horizon. She was memorizing every last detail of a sun rise in Konoha, knowing it would be her last time to see one. She regretted that she didn't have enough time to stop by all the places where her most precious memories were made.

_You're just visiting the place where your most important memory took place…isn't this where you last saw Sasuke before he left?_ Inner Sakura cut into her thoughts. Sakura took notice of her current surroundings, noticing the bench that she had awoken on when she realized Sasuke had abandoned Konoha, his team, her…

"They let you out," came a voice behind her. Sakura whirled around and was greeted with the sight of a person who she had never thought she would see again, a person she had almost completely forgotten.

"I see they let you out as well, Karin," Sakura said, looking the ex-Oto nin over.

Sakura stared at the red-head walking slowly towards her. "How are you?" she finally asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"As well as one can be after being burned by Sasuke, you should be able to understand that better than anyone," Karin answered, adjusting her glasses.

Sakura flinched at the girl's words. It was ironic, when she had first seen the red-haired kunoichi, she was insanely jealous. She had thought Karin was living the life she should have been living, helping Sasuke achieve his ultimate goal. However, that quickly changed once she saw what he had done to her. He used her, not only for her chakra-sensing and healing abilities, but also she suspected that Sasuke had used the ex-Oto nin sexually as well. She had seen the bite marks riddled across Karin's chest. There was no way those marks were placed there without some kind of sexual act. Her jealousy had quickly turned to pity when Sakura realized that she had been spared that brutal experience when Sasuke refused to take her with him the night he defected.

_You could have easily been Karin. Obsessive, immature, turned out like some cheap whore. If I were you, I'd thank my lucky stars that Sasuke still had some decency left within him when he fled Konoha and refused to let you follow him,_ Inner Sakura commented.

Sakura whole heartedly agreed, noting the sympathetic tone her subconscious had. It was almost serendipitous, running into Karin as she was leaving for a mission. It was like fate was warning her of what would happen to her if she refused to give up on the love she still desperately clung to. She would suffer the same fate as Karin if she threw this mission for Sasuke again.

_Don't worry, I won't let that happen,_ Inner Sakura said, a wicked smile clearly evident in her tone. Sakura wasn't sure if she meant failing the mission, or suffering Karin's fate. She hoped it was both. _The mission is not our main concern. You should be more worried about not being charged as a treasonous murderer, _her inner voice reminded her.

"You seem troubled," Karin's voice cut in. "It's that second presence, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked, eyes widening by Karin's observation.

"You can't hide it from me. I can sense two chakra signatures within you. Funny how I never noticed it before…" Karin trailed off, lost in thought as she reflected back on the day she had first met the pink-haired kunoichi. No one had ever showed any concern for her well-being. Not her parents, not Orochimaru, and certainly not Sasuke. But this pink-haired medic, this girl she had never met before, was examining her wounds and crying. She knew the medic wasn't just crying for her, but also for Sasuke. Her normal reaction would have been jealousy over a rival kunoichi showing concern for Sasuke, but she wasn't jealous of the medic. Instead, she was grateful that the kunoichi was tending to her, and sympathetic that Sasuke had seemed to destroy the-pink haired girl the same way he had destroyed her. Karin had felt she could relate to Sakura because they had felt similar pain.

"I've wanted to speak with you for awhile," Karin said, shaking her head free of her thoughts.

"About?" Sakura asked, impatiently folding her arms across her chest. "I'm not trying to be rude, but I do have a mission to go on."

"That's what I want to talk to you about," Karin said, giving an impatient huff herself. "I know you're still messed up over Sasuke."

Sakura's eyes widened "No, I'm not," she tried to deny weakly.

"Don't bother trying to lie to me. Even if I didn't have the ability to detect a lie through chakra, I would still be able to tell you were lying. A girl just doesn't get over someone like Sasuke so easily," Karin commented wryly.

"So how did you get over him?" Sakura asked quietly.

"I look at the scar on my chest courtesy of his katana, Kusanagi," Karin replied dryly.

Sakura reflexively looked at the spot on Karin's chest that she had healed. Although the scar was covered by the long-sleeved black turtle-neck Karin wore, Sakura could still imagine in her mind's eye the gaping hole Sasuke had left Karin behind with. She had never seen the wound after it had healed and scarred, she only remembered it fresh and bloody. She wondered how badly the ex- Oto nin's chest was scarred. Was the scar tissue still pink and rough, or was it faded to white and smooth?

_You would have a gaping hole in the back of your head if Karin hadn't of warned you while you were too busy trying to work up the courage to kill Sasuke,_ Inner Sakura reminded the medic.

Sakura glanced at the neat white scars that lined both of her wrists. She hadn't escaped that encounter with Sasuke untouched either, although her scars were self-inflicted.

"I'm grateful to you," Karin said quietly, breaking Sakura away from her subconscious's voice and her thoughts of failed suicide. "You could have killed me and gone with Sasuke—"

"I've never killed anyone before," Sakura said quietly.

_Liar,_ Inner Sakura giggled mischievously. _Or do you not count pulling the plug as murder?_

"I couldn't kill you just like I couldn't kill Sasuke," mended Sakura, hoping her facial features didn't betray the shame she felt at her inner demon's words.

Karin looked at Sakura curiously. She could tell that Sakura had lied and that the second chakra presence within her was fluctuating wildly, as if trying to devour the pink-haired kunoichi from the inside. She wondered if this was the result of the green-eyed girl's brief reunion with Sasuke. She silently thanked her lucky stars that Sasuke had just left her with a physical scar. Sakura's mental and emotional scars seemed to be so much worse, but then madness was always more torturous than any physical sensation. At least physical pain could be controlled and overcome; there was no such hope for insanity.

"What?" Sakura asked, catching the look of sympathy in the red-head's gaze.

"Nothing," Karin said, quickly dismissing her thoughts. "I just want to wish you luck on your mission. Don't let him do to you what he did to me," she added softly. Without thinking about it, the ex-Oto nin embraced the Konoha medic. Karin was overwhelmed by her feelings of gratitude and pity towards Sakura, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was also saying good-bye to the kunoichi forever. "Thank you again," she said, releasing Sakura and smiling embarrassedly.

"I'm thankful I got to meet you Karin," Sakura whispered softly, watching the ex-Taka member retreat back into the village. She hoped that Karin would at least be able to find some happiness in her new home in Konoha. Perhaps she would become Sakura's replacement after Sakura had officially defected. She thought the red-head would be able to hold her own against Naruto's antics, Sai's apathy, and Kakashi's demeanor.

_Why are you thinking of Team 7?_ Inner Sakura asked. _Team 7 no longer exists…If she was to replace you, it would be in the hearts of those you love, and I don't think your jealousy would be able to handle that._

"It won't matter because I won't be here to see it," Sakura replied resuming her walk towards the gates, sparing a glance at the bench Sasuke had lain her on before looking ahead and spotting her new team clad in their ANBU uniforms, faces unmasked, and assembled at the village's exit.

* * *

"Ah Sakura, you're here," Sai greeted coolly.

"Are you alright?" Neiji asked, glancing over the kunoichi's shoulder and staring at the barely visible retreating back of Karin.

"Oh so you saw that huh? I'm fine," Sakura reassured. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting."

"No it's alright," Shikamaru said. "I just got here myself."

_Not surprising, you Lazy Bum,_ Inner Sakura hissed playfully.

"We should head out," Neiji commented, heading for the gates.

Team Shikamaru followed his lead and began to walk. As Sakura passed through the gates, a feeling of exhilaration overcame her. A weight she hadn't known she had been carrying was lifted. She no longer felt as if she had to keep up appearances or walk on broken eggshells to please those around her. She could be as dysfunctional and neurotic as she wanted to be, her teammates had already seen that side of her.

_I can finally be free,_ Inner Sakura sighed. Sakura let her subconscious's sigh escape past her lips as she felt Inner Sakura stir within her. _Oh do let me out to play for just a little while,_ Inner Sakura begged. _At least let me out long enough to stretch my legs…_

Sakura conceded to that inner voice and let her lips twitch into that tell-tale smirk. She felt herself jog ahead of her teammates and cast a mischievous glance over her shoulder.

"Stick-in-the-Mud, Lazy Bum, Heartless, hurry up! I can't wait to see Naruto again," she ordered before taking off at full speed, riding on the energy and euphoria provided by leaving the village.

"What did she call us?" Neiji asked with a raise of an eyebrow at the use of nicknames.

Sai merely glanced at Sakura's quickly retreating back. "Naruto will be in for a surprise when she finally catches up to him," he commented before running after the kunoichi.

"God help him," Shikamaru muttered before sending Neiji an amused look. "Stick-in-the-Mud, eh?"

"Oh shut up Lazy Bum," Neiji growled before running off.

Shikamaru laughed before moving to catch up with his team.

* * *

Sakura was overwhelmed in glee as she ran. It felt so liberating to feel the wind through her hair, the earth beneath her feet. She knew she probably looked a mess, drenched in sweat, short of breath, and hair disheveled, but she didn't care. The boys were having a hard time keeping up with her, and that was all that mattered. Finally, someone was running to catch up to her and not the other way around.

"Sakura, stop please," Sai called after her. "We need to take a break."

"Look at you," Sakura sneered playfully."I'd think someone who was raised in Root would be able to handle long distance sprinting. I swear, what are they teaching the next generation shinobi these days?"

Sai glanced at Sakura curiously as she mocked him in an unfamiliar tone before picking up her pace, giggling at the artist-nin as she sped ahead.

"Come on Sakura please! We're begging you," Shikamaru called.

"Now those were the magical words I wanted to hear," Sakura said mischievously before stopping and turning to her team. Both Shikamaru and Sai looked as if they might keel over if the wind blew too hard. Neiji was the only one who seemed unphased.

"Years of running with Gai-sensei," he explained simply at the dirty glare Shikamaru gave him.

Sakura smiled at the Hyuuga's words and glanced around at her surroundings. The few hours of sprinting hadn't gotten them out of the thick woods that the Fire Country was known to have, but they were nearing the border. She turned her back on her team and sat down cross-legged. Although she was out of breath and soaked in sweat, she never felt more alive. She felt as if she could have run forever, and very well may have tried to if her team hadn't of convinced her to take a break.

"They're slowing you down," Sakura said aloud, still under the control of her subconscious, before the demon relinquished control to the medic and receded back into the far corners of her mind.

At her words, Sai, Shikamaru, and Neiji shared a knowing look before glancing at the kunoichi on their team. Neiji turned on his Byakugan and examined the pink-haired medic closely. His eyes widened as he recognized the strange chakra signature that resided within Sakura.

"Her chakra flow is different than it normally is," Neiji whispered quietly to the two ANBU members near him as they all sat down to rest. "Her chakra is always different when she acts like this."

"How so?" Sai asked.

"It's darker and chaotic, the flow is unstable," the Hyuuga answered.

"And you're sure it's like this whenever her behavior is abnormal?" Shikamaru questioned, staring at Sakura and listening intently to his teammate's words.

"Well I can't say if it's like this when she acts out of character when I'm not there, but I am certain that every time I've seen her act…differently, her chakra is also different," Neiji replied.

"Can you see what is affecting her chakra and behavior?" Shikamaru asked, worry beginning to replace the boredom in his tone.

"No," Neiji began, "But I can see that the unstable flow is getting worse."

"We should take her back to Konoha," Sai stated firmly, staring intently at Sakura's back. "If her mental state is deteriorating because of a corrupted chakra flow, then she is in no shape to be outside of a hospital, let alone on a mission."

"We can't just turn around and go back," Shikamaru said, dismissing Sai's suggestion. "It's not like she would willingly come back to the village and be hospitalized. Besides, if Kakashi-sama believes she can handle this, then we should too."

"But Hokage-sama doesn't know about the behavior changes or chakra irregularities," Sai argued, turning to face Neiji and Shikamaru. "I wouldn't be able to stand it if something bad happens to her because we didn't seek help for her. Naruto would never forgive me if anything happened to her."

"I know you're concerned about her," Neiji spoke up, "But Shikamaru is right. We can't just go back now; we're almost at the Land of Lightning. Her behavior and chakra may be unusual, but we can't be concerned with that right now. Besides, you saw how desperately she wanted to see Naruto. Who knows, seeing him might actually bring her back to normal."

"Are you boys holding a team meeting without me?" Sakura growled.

The ANBU members glanced up from where they were seated to see a very angry kunoichi towering over them.

"No Sakura-chan," said Sai, flashing her one of his fake smiles to cover up his worry for her. "We were just talking about whether we should sleep outside tonight or try to find an inn to stay in."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at the artist-nin's fake smile and flimsy lie. Although she had been busy regaining control from her inner demon while they all were taking a moment to rest, she had still heard every word her teammates had said about her. She had been concerned when she heard Neiji reveal that her chakra flow was unstable and steadily getting worse, but that concern had been replaced by anger when she heard Sai suggest taking her back to Konoha, to the hospital, to hell…

"What's your opinion on the matter?" Shikamaru's question stirred Sakura from her memories of days spent in a state of catatonia, pumped full of drugs and under constant doctoral observation.

"I don't mind sleeping outside," Sakura said, walking away from her teammates. Her brief recollection of her hospital stay left her feeling cold, and she wrapped her arms around herself in a vain attempt to shield herself from the numbing coldness that bad memories always bring. "I think we rested enough, we should start moving again."

She didn't wait for a response. She simply began a slow jog towards the border that would lead them to the Land of Lightning. It wasn't long until she sensed her teammates join her, trailing behind her. She quickened her pace, and felt her teammates do the same, adjusting their strides to match the pace she was setting. However, Sakura knew it didn't matter how fast she tried to run, she wouldn't be able to outstrip those memories that haunted her, reminding her that she was badly damaged and unable to be fixed.

_Don't worry,_ Inner Sakura comforted, _I'll never let them put you back in that place. I'll kill anyone who tries._

Sakura glanced at Sai, concerned at the threat her subconscious posed. She didn't want to end up hurting him the way she did her shishou. Sai caught her look, and returned it with his own look of concern. Her heart squeezed painfully at the thought of him hurting because of something she did. She knew that he had only suggested returning her to the hospital because he thought she needed help. However, he had no idea the hell she had experienced while locked up there, and she had no intentions on ever going back. Besides, the last time she had been to a hospital, she had killed the one she had been visiting, her shishou, rendering any therapeutic possibilities a hospital could provide as useless. She had struggled living in Konoha with the knowledge that she had failed a mission through borderline treasonous actions. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay at a hospital with the guilt over what she had done to Tsunade. If she went back to a hospital, she would open up her wrists again to escape that guilt.

* * *

They continued running in silence until the terrain gradually shifted into a heavily mountainous area, signifying that they had finally reached the border. Exhausted, they set up camp near a quietly trickling river, Sakura and Sai pitching up the tents while Neiji opened their rations and began to prepare a stew for dinner. Shikamaru had quickly gathered firewood and started a fire.

"This is good Neiji," Sakura said, trying to break the awkward silence they sat in after everything was set up and the food was ready.

"Thank you," Neiji answered politely. No one else made an attempt to make conversation.

Sakura sighed and continued to eat in silence, trying to fight the urge to just get up and leave.

_You know you could just talk to me if you want to chat so badly,_ Inner Sakura suggested.

Sakura just rolled her eyes in response and stood up, leaving her meal only half eaten. "I think I want to scout out the area for a minute. When I come back, I'll take the first watch," she stated simply before quickly turning around and walking into the surrounding thicket of trees.

"Be careful," Shikamaru warned.

"I always am," she replied without turning around. Once she felt that she had put sufficient distance between herself and her team she let out a sigh of relief. There was tension in the air, and she had a feeling she knew where it was coming from.

_You wouldn't be referring to me, would you?_, Inner Sakura asked coyly.

"Actually, I was referring to my teammates. They know something is up," Sakura whispered. "You don't think they already know about Tsunade-shishou, do you?"

"What about Tsunade-sama?" a voice asked behind Sakura.

"Sai, what the hell?" Sakura shrieked as she whirled around and spotted the artist looking at her concernedly. "Are you spying on me?"

"I'm worried about you," Sai said quietly, stepping closer to the pink-haired kunoichi. He stopped right in front of her and grabbed Sakura by the chin to force her to look at him. "Tell me what's wrong," he demanded quietly.

"I-I can't," Sakura stuttered, scrunching her face up in frustration. The imploring gaze and comforting tone from Sai were making her feel so conflicted. She desperately wished she could confide in him, but she knew once she did, he would not be looking at her and speaking to her as he was now. He would hate her and despise her. He would hurt her.

_Hurt him before he hurts you,_ Inner Sakura suggested calmly. _Basic rules of survival, maybe you should brush up on those since we will be striking out on our own soon._

"Do you not trust me?" Sai asked, tone clearly indicating that he was hurt.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" Sakura growled, recalling the conversation amongst the ANBU members she had heard earlier that day. "Did you all lie when you all promised Kakashi-sama that your issues were settled with me?"

"Did you lie to Hokage-sama when you said you'd be able to handle this mission?" Sai countered calmly.

_Heartless indeed!_ Inner Sakura cried outraged. _You could make him hurt so badly for that slight against you if you follow my directions exactly. First take out your kunai, then—_

The sound of Sakura's fist connecting with Sai's jaw cut off Inner Sakura's ramble. The look of total shock and pain on Sai's face made Sakura immediately feel bad for what she had done.

"The last time you struck me like this," Sai said, wincing as he began to gently rub his already bruising jaw, "Was when I badmouthed Sasuke to you and Naruto. This is about Sasuke again isn't it? You're afraid you're not going to be able to follow through again."

_Not the way I would have preferred you to handle things, but at least he thinks you're upset over Sasuke and not Tsunade,_ Inner Sakura commented, nodding her head in approval.

"I'm sorry Sai," Sakura said, stepping closer and infusing chakra in her lips before gently brushing Sai's hand away and kissing each bruise, watching them fade away as quickly as they had bloomed. She felt Sai immediately stiffen at her touch.

"Sakura, I don't think that's appropriate right now," Sai said gently pushing Sakura away from him. He ignored the sad frown of rejection that briefly crossed her features as his mind was filled with images of her lying naked in his bed, skin glowing in soft candle light. Skin that he had discovered was quite soft to the touch…

"You're right," Sakura said, flashing Sai one of his own fake smiles. "We are on a mission; I don't know what I was thinking."

_I know what you were thinking,_ Inner Sakura commented suggestively, winking playfully.

"We should head back to camp," Sakura said, ignoring her subconscious and immediately started walking. She didn't look at or wait for Sai, she didn't want to make an awkward situation worse.

"Wait Sakura," Sai said, grabbing her wrist and stopping her. "I need to know, can you do this? Will you be able to complete the mission no matter what happens or who appears? Can I trust you to be in control?"

Sakura stilled at the last question. She looked up into Sai's eyes and was surprised to find many tumultuous emotions clouding his normally emotionless gaze. She wanted to ease those concerns and promise him that she could stay in control, but that would be a lie. Her control over her subconscious was slippery at best. Inner Sakura did whatever she wanted to do, appearing and disappearing whenever she felt like it. The only time she had ever exuded any control was only after Tsunade had locked away the demon inside the far corners of the medic's mind. However, deception was the name of the game in the shinobi world, and if deceiving her team would save them from her volatile side, and save herself from Konoha's wrath, then so be it.

"I am in control now Sai," Sakura said, continuing to meet his gaze to convince him to believe her.

Sai stared at her intently as he dissected her words and her gaze. Her words and tone suggested that she actually believed what she was saying, but her eyes were more ambivalent. If she knew how much her emerald orbs could reveal to him, he doubted she would have even looked him in the eye. He could tell that she was urging him to believe her even when she didn't fully believe herself, and this confused him. What was so terrible that she couldn't confide in anyone on her team? He still believe that whatever it was, Naruto would be able to help her, and that belief was hurting him more than he had originally realized. Sakura and he had always had a strained friendship, and recent events were just adding to that strain. However, just because their friendship was confusing and unconventional didn't mean that he didn't legitimately care for her. Despite their unusual relationship, he still wished he could be the one that redeemed the pink-haired medic.

"I believe you," he said, and instantly felt bad for lying to her. He let go of Sakura's wrist and let her walk back towards the camp, trailing softly behind her.

As they both walked in silence, dwelling on the shared guilt of dishonesty, Sai stared at the kunoichi's back. He couldn't shake the feeling that he wouldn't be seeing her for much longer.

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What do you think? Do you like it so far? I want to know what you think. I'm almost done with part two of this chapter...I'd like to get it up in a week, but we'll see what happens. School, work, and life kinda interrupt my writing time...Thanks again for reading!


	11. Meeting Again for the First Time pt2

So I managed to stay true to my word and put the rest of the chapter up in a week, woot! As always, thank you for reading/reviewing/alerting/favoriting, you all are amazing! I have to do some catching up in some of my school work, but once I do, I'll be able to post another chapter. Don't worry though, it won't take me too long, cross my heart :). On a sidenote, running into your English professors at the bars always lead to hilarity, blackmail, and most importantly, free booze!

Kishimoto own's Naruto, not me :(, but I would totally love to be on his creative staff (if he has one).

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**Meeting Again for the First Time (cont'd)**

Sakura stared into the campfire, hypnotized by the flames and rhythmic breathing of her teammates in slumber as she idly played with a kunai in her hands. Her team had decided that the watch shift would change every two hours, so that each member got at least six hours of sleep. Sakura had volunteered to go first so that her six hours would be uninterrupted. She had spent the last hour and a half lost in her thoughts, wondering how Naruto would react when they finally reunited. She missed him and desperately needed his infectious personality. It was ironic, as a Gennin she had wished he would just go away and leave her alone, but now that she had experienced life without him, she couldn't wait to be near him again and hear him endearingly call her "Sakura-chan."

_What are you doing?_, Inner Sakura demanded, interrupting her thoughts.

"I'm taking the first watch," Sakura answered, annoyed at the presence of her pushy subconscious.

_Why aren't you making your escape now while they're sleeping?_ Inner Sakura snapped.

"I don't think I like your tone," Sakura replied, calmly cleaning under her nails with the sharp blade.

_And I don't think I like how you're acting like a dumb bitch right now. I swear to god, do I have to do everything for you?_ Inner Sakura snarled. _We have to get the hell away from them before they find out what you did to the Old Bitch. Once they find out, they'll lock you back up in that hospital and throw away the key. Is that what you want?_

"You know it's not," Sakura said quietly.

_Then kill them, slit their throats in their sleep,_ Inner Sakura ordered softly. _It'll be quick and easy. It'll provide the perfect escape._

"I don't want to," Sakura protested, voice shaky. She clutched the kunai tightly as if it would help her fight against the voice in her head.

_Sakura, if you leave now they'll just follow you and detain you, _Inner Sakura growled in frustration. _Is that what you want?_

"No, I don't want to go back, I'd rather die than go back," Sakura answered, desperation now appearing in her tone.

_Then do what we both know has to be done. Kill them Sakura._

Sakura glanced at the slumbering ANBU members on her team warily. She didn't want to hurt them, but she couldn't resist her subconscious's commands. As much as she knew she wanted to fight, she would never be able to be rid of her subconscious. Tsunade had tried to rid her of Inner Sakura when she sealed her away, and look what happened. The demon was free while the Hokage was dead, slain by the hand of her student under the influence of that sinister voice.

Slowly, she stood and turned towards her sleeping teammates, no longer able to resist the commanding tone that resided within her mind. Her feet stumbled slightly as she dragged them towards the direction of her awaiting victims in a vain attempt to prolong the inevitable. Trembling in regret and a shaky resolve, she came to a stop and loomed over the closest sleeping bag. She kneeled down beside the motionless lump and took a deep breath to work up the courage.

_You can do this Sakura,_ whispered Inner Sakura encouragingly. _I believe in you._

Gripping the kunai firmly to stop the shaking of her hand, she held it up next to her face, poised to descend upon the slumbering shinobi and put him to rest permanently. She grasped a corner of the sleeping bag and quickly ripped it off, what she saw made her gasp and stilled her hand that was already moving towards a killing blow. A very awake Sai stared up at her knowingly.

"What are you doing Sakura?" Sai asked calmly.

"I'm just waking you up because it's your turn to take the next watch," Sakura replied innocently, thinking of the lie instantly.

"I see, and the kunai in your hand is for?" Sai inquired, making his way out of his makeshift bed.

Sakura stared down at the small weapon in her hand as if she had forgotten that she had been holding it. "I had it out just in case someone decided to ambush us," Sakura explained, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"We should be meeting up with Naruto and the others tomorrow," Sai said, changing the subject. "You should go to bed so you'll be refreshed for the journey. We've got a boat to catch."

"You're right," Sakura said, quickly moving to her sleeping bag, and climbing in. "Good-night, Sai." She wasn't concerned that he was speaking to her without looking at her, she didn't want to look at him either. However, she was quite surprised with how calm he was being despite having caught her attempting to murder him. Sasuke had been less than calm when she had attempted to kill him.

"Good-night Sakura-chan," the artist nin whispered, risking a glance in her direction and noticing that she still clung to the kunai as if it could provide her with some kind of protection. Unfortunately for her, there was no weapon that could protect her from the demon that plagued her existence.

As he sensed the medic slowly drift off to dreamland, he let out a shaky sigh of relief. He suspected that Sakura would have tried to kill all three of them if he hadn't of caught her off guard by being awake. He was awakened by the sound of her voice as she talked to herself, a nasty habit that he noticed was just getting worse. Although he couldn't hear exactly what she was saying, his instincts told him to be on guard as he sensed her walking towards him. His instincts had been confirmed as soon as he saw the kunai poised in her hand, ready to slash his throat open. What disturbed him the most though, was the look on her face. She looked so guilty and remorseful, as if these actions weren't her own but someone else's. He knew they should have taken her back to Konoha. He stared into the flames and sighed. What would Naruto think when he was reunited with the now slightly schizophrenic medic? How badly would Naruto kick his ass when he saw those scars on her wrists, when he saw her act out of character, when they were finally forced to restrain her to keep her from hurting herself or those around her?

* * *

"So this is where they decided to hide the remaining Jinchurikis," Shikamaru commented, looking around the small island shrouded in greenery as he led his team off the boat that had brought them to the secret island.

"Where's the welcoming committee?" Neji remarked dryly, noting the lack of human presence.

"Did they leave and not tell Kakashi-sama their new location?" asked Sai.

"Use your Byakugan to see if we can find them," Sakura suggested. "Then we can hunt them down and beat them for not giving us a proper greeting," she added playfully cracking her knuckles.

Neji nodded in agreement and turned on his kekkei genkai. He scanned the area, searching for the presence of other chakra signatures. He let his eyes briefly rest on Sakura and noted that her chakra flow seemed to be improving somewhat. Perhaps being closer to Naruto would in fact improve her condition. Regaining his focus, he noticed what appeared to be decaying ruins not too far from where they were standing. Sharpening his search, he detected the presence of several chakra signatures within the ruins.

"I found them," he said, pointing towards the remains of an ancient temple.

"Let's go," Shikamaru ordered, walking swiftly towards the ruins.

Ecstatic that she was just meters away from a reunion with her old team mate, Sakura ran ahead of the group, eager to finally see her old friend. She was desperate to be around someone who had always accepted her for who she was. Naruto would always care for her no matter what she did. Perhaps she could even confess to him what she did, maybe they could run away together…

_Don't even think about it,_ Inner Sakura threatened. _I need you to stay quiet about that incident. If I can't trust you to keep your mouth shut, then I could always ensure your silence by locking you away up here while I have my fun out there…_

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise, but she made no effort to contradict the sinister voice. Instead, she focused on the sanctuary that awaited her within Naruto's arms when she finally saw him.

_Oh honey,_ Inner Sakura sniped, _Foxy can't save you from me._

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to block out the grating laughter inside her head as she quickened her pace and ran into the corroding temple. With her team hot on her heels, they all came to a complete stop as they came into contact with familiar Konoha shinobi and unfamiliar Kumo shinobi. Everyone turned to the sudden presence of the medic and her team, but Sakura was too busy scanning the crowd for Naruto. She let out a cry of joy as she immediately spotted the blonde member of Team 7. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly and buried her face in his chest. She clung to him desperately like he was her anchor, a means to prevent from being swept away by the tumultuous emotions swirling within her. As she felt the warmth of his body pressed against her own and breathed in his natural scent flooding her senses, she believed for the briefest of moments that everything was going to be okay. He would be able to help her, to save her, but most importantly, she wouldn't be alone anymore.

"Sakura-chan! Where did you—" exclaimed the startled whiskered shinobi.

"I've missed you…Naruto-kun," Sakura whispered tenderly, cutting him off. She raised her head and stared at her childhood friend, resting her gaze in his crystal blue eyes. She had found her sanctuary, her safe place to hide from every wrong in her life. As she held his gaze, she briefly felt remorse for not appreciating him more, for not realizing how much she needed him in her life, for not recognizing that although she loved Sasuke, she loved Naruto too. At this epiphany, she felt her lips twitch into a genuine smile, the first she had worn in a long time.

Naruto watched transfixed at the shy smile that graced her lips. He briefly wondered if he had broken from reality, and the Kyuubi had taken on a disguise in an attempt to usurp control from the Jinchuriki. However, his doubts were immediately washed away as he felt Sakura's soft lips brush against his cheek in a chaste kiss.

_Oh my, what would Hinata think if she saw this?_ mocked Inner Sakura, and just like that, the spell of the tender moment was destroyed, and the reality of Sakura's situation came crashing through her mind as her subconscious laughed scornfully.

* * *

The three ANBU members watched their teammate embrace the Kyuubi Jinchuriki, smirking as Naruto's cheeks flushed in surprise by Sakura's forward behavior and use of the intimate suffix.

"How long do you think before he finds out what happened to her after he left?" Shikamaru asked, without taking his gaze off the kunoichi.

"She'll act out first," Neji said with a shrug of his shoulder. "Then Naruto will demand to know what's wrong with her, and we'll have to explain. So will she, whether she feels like talking or not."

"She acted out last night," Sai said, finally speaking up, but keeping his gaze on his pink-haired teammate.

"What do you mean?" inquired Shikamaru, turning to face the artist.

"I caught her standing over me with a kunai in her hand last night," Sai explained. "She claimed she was just waking me up for my watch shift, but I think she planned to kill us while we slept and run away."

"Sakura there's something strange about you," Naruto said, catching the attention of the ANBU members.

_Can you see me Foxy?_ Inner Sakura asked coyly.

"There's something dark here," Naruto said, glancing up at Killer Bee who stood a few feet behind Sakura. "A sinister chakra presence—" he was cut off by a cry of surprise from the Hachibi Jinchuriki, as the shark-faced Akatsuki member, who had the infamous Itachi Uchiha as a partner in crime, jumped out of Samehada and grabbed the sword from the Kumo-nin.

"Looks like you caught me kid," Kisame remarked, with a smirk. "Congratulations on controlling the Kyuubi, but I think it's time you and the aspiring rapper came back with me. Madara is waiting."

_And here I was hoping I was going to get Foxy to come out and play, _Inner Sakura pouted. _Oh well, Jaws might prove to be somewhat entertaining, shall we?_

Sakura clenched her fist and concentrated on gathering chakra into it before rushing towards the Akatsuki member already engaged in battle for an epic rematch with Gai. Unable to punish her subconscious for interrupting her intimate moment with Naruto, she decided she would work out all of her frustration on the Akatsuki member among them. She was almost tempted to release Inner Sakura, in the hopes that once she could get her blood fix, she would leave her alone for awhile, and Sakura would be able to spend some quality time with Naruto before she fled.

_I'll take up that offer if it's on the table,_ Inner Sakura said eagerly. _I am in the mood for seafood._

Coming to a decision as she neared the now fighting Kisame, Sakura's chakra-infused fist made contact with the chest of the shark-faced Akatsuki member, the tell-tale smirk twisting her lips as she watched Kisame crash into the surrounding trees in satisfactory anticipation.

* * *

I hope you all liked it...you know you wanna review it...por favor?


	12. Swimming with Sharks

Long time no see, eh? Between my job, homework, Sigma Tau Delta (isn't it unfortunate that the English honor society's acronym is STD? *giggle*), editing the literary magazine, and organizing English Department sponsored events on the English Social Committee, you can say that I've been a little busy. I also forgot to mention the most important thing that I've been doing with my free time and that's hitting up the clubs down in Charm City (Lucky's at Power Plant to be precise).

So needless to say, life has gotten between me and my writing. I'm sorry I made you all wait so long, but Winter Break is around the corner. Since Thanksgiving Break is not that long (and I have some final papers that I really _should_ be writing) I might not be able to update again this week, though I will try my hardest! Hope you all had an amazing Halloween and hope you have a delicious Turkey Day!

I want to give a special thanks to **Kaysty **for giving me some inspiration, you're a peach!

**AnimaniacXOX**, I hope you get better soon chica.

**LadyNorth76**, I hope you haven't given up on me!

I know this AN is getting ridiculously long so I'm gonna say one last thing...Happy Belated Birthday to Ville Valo (Love you long time!) and Boris Karloff (Best Frankenstein's Monster eva!)!

Yeah, still don't own Naruto...

So I hope you like and of course, REVIEW!

* * *

**Swimming with Sharks**

Naruto stared at the pink-haired medic in disbelief as she calmly walked in the direction she had sent Kisame flying. This could not be his Sakura-chan. The malevolent chakra that he had sensed earlier had not belonged to Kisame, it had belonged to his former teammate. However, the Akatsuki member's sudden appearance had distracted him until Sakura entered the fight, and now that both were fighting, he could clearly distinguish the different textures of the malevolent chakras. Kisame's felt sharp and grinding, like he was being bitten by the multiple rows of teeth in a shark's mouth. Sakura's chakra was different. Its velvety texture rubbed teasingly against his skin, like the gentle caress that always precedes a painfully erotic blow. This is what he had been feeling as Sakura wrapped her arms around him, a dangerously sexy allure he didn't think she had been capable to possess.

* * *

"I think you might have cracked one of my ribs, girly," Kisame grunted, clutching the spot Sakura had punched him moments ago. He glared up at the kunoichi who towered over him.

"Oh you can still talk?" Sakura asked still under the influence of her subconscious. She clenched her fist, forcing more chakra into it. "Let me remedy that by ripping out your throat!" She moved to strike the injured man below her, but he quickly blocked her with the back of Samehada's blade. She cried out in outrage as her fist met cold steel, and she could feel the chakra quickly drain from her body.

"I think Samehada likes the way you taste," Kisame sneered, laughing as Sakura jumped back, distancing herself from the chakra-stealing blade.

"I'm going to make you pay for that," Sakura threatened through panting breath, slightly surprised at how weakened the brief contact with the weapon left her. She cursed herself for forgetting about the sword's special ability and pulled out a kunai and a shuriken. He couldn't wield the weapon against her if he had no arms.

"Do you really think you'll be able to defeat me with such little weapons?" scoffed Kisame, standing and taking a fighting stance.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you size doesn't matter, it's all in how you use it?" Sakura returned, grinning suggestively before lunging at her opponent.

Kisame easily smacked the shuriken Sakura had thrown away with Samehada, but she had been counting on it. Now left open, Sakura slashed at the ex-Kiri nin, nicking his face with the tip of her blade. Kisame quickly recovered, swinging his blade around in an attempt to decapitate the kunoichi before him, but she quickly ducked and rolled away. A few backhand springs kept her comfortably out of Samehada's reach as she smirked at the Akatsuki member expectantly.

"I wouldn't be looking all pleased if I were you," Kisame growled. "It's just a little scratch."

"That's all I needed," Sakura responded. Her smirk turned into a full on grin as she watched Kisame sink to his knees and collapse onto his side.

"What the hell did you to do me?" Kisame growled, glaring up at the slowly approaching kunoichi with hatred.

"I guess I should have told you that my kunais tend to be covered in poison. This particular poison doesn't kill, lucky you." She winked at him as she continued to slowly stalk over to his paralyzed body. "This just incapacitates, but don't worry, it's not permanent."

Stopping in front of him she kicked him hard in his ribs, irritating the already broken bone and rolling him onto his back. She smiled at the sound of his surprised cry of pain. "Oh, I guess I forgot to mention," she began coyly, slowly lowering herself down until she straddled his lap, and ground her pelvis suggestively against his groin, "You'll still be able to feel everything that I'm going to do to you." She giggled as she felt him harden in response. "I'm glad you feel just as excited as I am."

* * *

"What is wrong with her?" Naruto demanded, glaring at Sai. Although Shikamaru and Neji also stood behind the artist-nin, Naruto reserved all his anger for the ex-Root member. "I told you to take care of her before I left. I entrusted her to you."

Neji sighed loudly, knowing that it wouldn't take Naruto long to figure out that something was wrong with his pink haired teammate. Naruto always seemed to have an uncanny awareness of Sakura, whether it was her moods or her location. "You don't understand Naruto. Sakura is…unwell. You can't blame Sai for—"

"I'm sorry, Naruto," Sai cut in, unable to meet the Jinchuriki's gaze. "I should have taken better care of her, but I couldn't. I was so angry with her. I couldn't understand why she—"

"Baka!" Naruto screamed, rushing Sai and grabbing him by the scruff of his neck. "I didn't ask you to understand her, I asked you to take care of her! How could you understand her feelings towards Sasuke-teme when you weren't there when Team 7 first formed? Hell, how can you understand feelings at all when you have none?" He screamed the last question in Sai's face before releasing him and pushing the artist-nin violently away from him. The anger flowing through him threatened to destroy all the progress he had made in gaining control over the Kyuubi. He closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath.

"I should have taken care of her," Sai acknowledged quietly. "If I had only been there for her, I could have stopped her, and she wouldn't be like this."

"Stopped her from doing what?" Naruto asked quietly, snapping his eyes open and glaring at Sai. He moved threateningly towards him.

"Wait Naruto, Sai," said Shikamaru, stepping between the two in an attempt to stop the fight that he knew would occur if Sai continued speaking. "Sai, I think you've said enough. If you say anymore, Naruto is just going to beat you to death. Naruto, you need to understand something, Sai wasn't the only one who was unable to understand Sakura's actions. Everyone in Konoha, even the civilians, were unable to understand, and rightly so. Sakura's failure of the mission has led to war. It is unfair to be angry with Sai for being unable to initially forgive Sakura for her actions, especially since as you pointed out earlier; Sai wasn't there when Team 7 first formed."

"But he's her teammate! He should have her back no matter what!" interjected Naruto.

"And Sai was your teammate as well. Don't his feelings count for something?" Shikamaru countered. "If you wanted Sakura to be properly cared for, you should have considered Sai's initial viewpoint and persuaded him to understand Sakura's actions better. Or," Shikamaru continued, holding his hand up to silence Naruto as he opened his mouth to speak, "You should have been there for Sakura and helped her cope with her actions first before you left. If she is as important to you as you say she is, you would have made sure she was okay first before you left. You would have made her the priority over Sasuke, but you didn't. You left so you could get stronger. You didn't even say goodbye."

Naruto glared at the lazy shinobi, silently. As much as he wanted to throttle Sai, he knew Shikamaru was right. He should have made sure Sakura was okay before he left. He had assumed that Sai would be able to help Sakura cope with her feelings, but he should have made sure Sai was up to the task first. More importantly, he should have comforted the medic-nin himself. Guiltily, he couldn't recall actually speaking to Sakura when they returned to the village from the Land of Iron. He had instead, requested from Kakashi-sama to be given leave to train with Killer Bee, so that he could control the Kyuubi. He had wanted to become stronger so that when he encountered Sasuke on the battlefield, he would be able to fulfill that promise he had made to his former teammate.

Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but an agonizing scream cut him off. Naruto, Sai, Shikamaru, and Neji turned towards Sakura and her opponent on alert, ready to save her if need be. Instead, they were horrified by what they saw. Naruto ran quickly towards her, hoping he could stop her before she ruined the image of innocence that he associated her with.

* * *

"Did you know, Kisame, that most people who become interrogators or torture artists study medicine first? Isn't that strange?" Sakura asked, using the blade of the kunai in her hands to clean under her nails.

Kisame glared up at the kunoichi seated above him, but made no attempt to answer her.

Frustrated with the lack of response, she plunged the blade of her kunai into his stomach all the way down to the hilt. "I asked you a question Kisame." She jerked her hand, twisting the blade, and smiled at the sharp scream of agony she received. "You're going to answer the next question I'm going to ask," she began, leaning over so she could whisper in his ear. "Where is Sasuke Uchiha?" She nibbled on his earlobe to coax a response.

"Fuck you, you pink bitch!" Kisame spat, jerking his head away from her.

"Well that wasn't very nice," Sakura said, frowning down at the shark-like shinobi beneath her. "I really want to cut out your tongue, but I know you need that to talk, and you WILL talk. I think I'll cut off a finger instead." She grabbed his motionless left hand by his side and laid it down on the grass next to his face.

Kisame watched her as she patiently uncurled and spread his fingers. As much as he hated to admit it, the kunoichi was beginning to scare him. She was so different from how he remembered her. He thought back to the time when they had first met. He had been unimpressed with the kunoichi. She seemed to lack skill and confidence, looking squeamish during a fight. She didn't look squeamish anymore.

"Now which one should I sever? Eenie," she pointed the tip of her kunai to his thumb. "Meenie," she pointed to his forefinger, Kisame's eyes following her movements. "Minie," she pointed to his middle finger. "Moe," she pointed to his ring finger. Without hesitation, she plunged the blade down at the base of his finger, where his joint met his palm. Her blade slid through the bone with no resistance. It had come off easier than she thought it would. She picked up the severed digit and tapped Kisame's forehead with it to gain his attention.

"Don't be going into shock on me," Sakura said playfully. "I need you to stay with me until you answer my question. Then I'll—" Sakura was cut off as she sensed the approach of familiar chakras. Her face twisted up into a snarl. Kisame was too distracted to notice though. His attention was drawn to his pinky finger. He had discovered that he could wiggle it again.

* * *

Sakura whirled around as she sensed the large group coming up behind her and her prey. She growled when her eyes met Naruto's. "Back off Foxy, this is my kill," her voice was feral and barely recognizable.

Naruto quickly choked back the growl the Kyuubi wanted him to let out. He was shocked by the response of his Tailed Beast. It wasn't a growl of anger, it had been a growl of pleasure. The Kyuubi had actually been turned on by Sakura's actions. Naruto felt all of his hard earned control over the Fox Demon begin to slip. He could sense all the things that the Kyuubi wanted to do to her, all things that he himself wouldn't mind doing to her…

"Naruto-kun," she began quietly, her tone almost innocent, but it was hard to be innocent when you were covered in blood and clutching a weapon. She slowly rose up off of Kisame and took a cautious step towards the Jinchuriki, gazing up at his face with her head slightly tilted to the side quizzically. As if hearing his thoughts, she grinned playfully and asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?" She began to take a few more steps towards him, swaying her hips in an exaggerated motion. "What's the matter Foxy? Jealous? Or do you like to just watch and—"

Sakura was cut off as an unexpected scream of surprise and pain tore its way out of her throat. White hot pain followed by the soothing flow of blood brought her to her knees. She glanced behind her and was filled with outrage. There was Kisame in a seated position, wielding Samehada and giving her the biggest shiteating grin he could twist his mouth into. Sakura boiled with inner anger as she watched her blood drip off Kisame's blade and splat messily to the ground. He had regained use of his arms, but not his legs. Sakura vowed to take action before he could use his legs again. She was undeniably pissed with herself for allowing Naruto to get her so distracted. Curiously, she wondered why her subconscious seemed so intent on teasing the poor blonde, but she quickly brushed that thought off.

_Worry about my motives later,_ Inner Sakura hissed, _That fucker just seriously wounded us. Make him pay before the shock and blood loss render us useless._

With a nod of her head, Sakura shot to her feet and grabbed Kisame roughly by the hair, pulling back and exposing his neck.

"Sakura! Don't!" Shikamaru shouted. He, Neji, and Sai moved forward to stop the medic, but they were too far away.

Naruto was useless. All he could do was stand in shock as he watched the girl he had always loved die and turn into an unrecognizable and unstable woman. He watched hypnotized as her kunai slid easily across the Akatsuki member's throat making a neat cut. For a minute, he thought that the wound wouldn't bleed, but that thought was soon crushed as blood began to spurt wildly from Kisame's neck. However, Sakura wasn't done. Although he was standing an arm's length away and could easily stop her, he stood motionless and watched as the blade of Sakura's kunai slashed at the ex-Kiri nin's throat again and again, hacking and sawing through the meaty flesh until Sakura had pulled Kisame's head free. Part of him was horrified at what he was watching, while another part, the Kyuubi part, was privately cheering her on.

Sakura looked up triumphantly from her trophy but staggered when she saw her teammates, especially Naruto, eye her wearily. They all stared at her, as if seeing her for the first time. Sakura didn't like it one bit. They were all staring at her, judging her, slowly making their way closer to her. They had surrounded her, like sharks circling their prey. Kisame was dead, but now the real sharks had come out to play. Sakura opened her mouth to defend herself, but was stopped as a wave of exhaustion swept over her.

Suddenly able to move again, Naruto's arms shot out and caught the kunoichi as she lost consciousness. Wordlessly, he lowered the two of them to the ground before gathering her up in his arms and burying his face in her neck. He didn't make a sound as the tears began to fall uncontrollably. He just silently prayed that when she woke up, she would be back to normal.

* * *

Review, por favor? Gracias :)


	13. Tell Them Everything

So if you don't know by now, I'm a name-dropper. With that said, I'd like to say thanks to **TeenageCrisis**, **AnimaniacXOX**, **LadyNorth76, CassyRose**, and **InARealPickle**, for the review-love. As always, thanks to everyone for reading and making my traffic stats soar :) Just a FYI, I probably won't be updating again until for like another two weeks since I have to focus on my final papers and exam :( But once that unpleasantness is done, I'll give all my attention to this fic over Winter Break.

Anyways, I don't own Naruto...probably never will and I'm okay with that.

Enjoy and review!

* * *

**Tell Them Everything**

"What's happening to her?" Naruto asked, never taking his eyes from the unconscious kunoichi lying on her stomach next to him. He was amazed at how his former teammate had progressed in her medical skills. Although unconscious, her chakra was working on healing the giant slash across her back. She had been lucky, if Kisame had put anymore force into the blow, he would have severed her spine.

"Troublesome, we don't exactly understand it ourselves," started Shikamaru with a sigh. "We noticed that her personality changes correlate to a change in her chakra."

"I noticed that, too. Sakura-chan didn't feel normal to me," Naruto confessed. He pulled his gaze away from the pink haired medic to look at Shikamaru. "Is it permanent?"

"It's getting worse," answered Neji. His Byakugan was turned on as he gazed at the medic analytically. "This is the worse that her behavior has been, and I guarantee it won't get better anytime soon. Her chakra flow has become so distorted that even her healing chakra has been corrupted. There might be a permanent personality change."

Naruto nodded his head in understanding, and turned a pleading but cold glare to Sai. "You're going to tell me everything that happened while I was gone."

* * *

_Sakura, time to wake up,_ came a voice in a sing-song tone.

"Just let me sleep for a little longer, Mommy," Sakura mumbled.

_I'm not your Mommy silly_, the voice was followed by the sound of grating laughter, and Sakura bolted upright. She looked around to decipher her surroundings, but could only see darkness.

"Where am I?" Sakura asked in a shaky voice.

Sakura felt strong arms wrap around her from behind and pull her against a very feminine physique. _You're with me_, answered the now all too familiar voice.

"Let go of me! Why can't I see?" Sakura struggled against her capturer.

_If you wanted to see so badly, all you had to do was ask silly_, Inner Sakura giggled and snapped her fingers. A soft glowing light illuminated their surroundings, and Sakura discovered that she was sitting in a giant golden cage. The cage was spacious and elaborately decorated with a hand-carved dark oak bed that looked as if it was big enough to comfortably hold four people, a small but elegant two-seater table, a large armoire that looked to be carved from the same dark oak as the bed, and silken curtains covering the gilded bars. Next to the broken gate was a carefully polished glass case. Sakura stared at it curiously, wondering why it was practically empty until her gaze rested on Kisame's still grinning decapitated head on display in the glass enclosure.

_Like my trophy display?_ Inner Sakura asked bubbling with laughter at the horrified expression on Sakura's face.

"You're a monster," Sakura cried as she jumped to her feet and distanced herself from her subconscious.

_I'm not the one that chopped off Kisame's pretty little head now am I?_ smirked Inner Sakura walking calmly to the small table and taking a seat. She motioned for Sakura to join her. _Would you like some tea?_

Sakura joined her subconscious but declined the tea, causing Inner Sakura to immediately pout.

_You know it's rude to refuse one's hospitality_, she began still pouting, _Besides, I never receive guests in here._

"Fine, just give me the damn tea," Sakura snapped with an exasperated sigh.

Inner Sakura squealed in triumph and snapped her fingers. Instantly, a teapot filled with hot water accompanied by a sugar dish, a small box of teabags, and two teacups complete with saucers and spoons appeared on the table.

_Oh, but now we're hardly dressed for the occasion,_ she frowned at their matching tattered jounin vests and shredded shorts. With another snap of her fingers Sakura was instantly elegantly dressed in a long white silk dress complete with a red corset top cinched tightly around her waist to exaggerate her curves. White velvet elbow-length gloves, white satin flats, and a large ridiculously feathered white hat completed her outfit. Her short pink hair had been pulled back into a bun that hid securely under the hat.

Sakura immediately felt silly, like she was five years old again and playing dress-up for an imaginary tea party. However, she considered her outfit less ridiculous by comparison when she saw her subconscious' attire. Inner Sakura was regally dressed in a black Elizabethan-styled gown complete with high collar and matching black slippers. Her usually unruly hair was intricately coiled and piled at the top of her head. A large oval cut onyx, as black as her eyes, set on a silver band encircling the middle finger on her right hand.

"Don't you think this is a little much?" asked Sakura, wiping the satisfied smile off of her subconscious' face.

_Honestly Sakura, you're losing your sense of fun_, Inner Sakura bristled and began to pour the two of them hot water and handed Sakura a teabag before dunking her own in her teacup.

Sakura ignored her subconscious' comment and took a cautious sip. To her pleasant surprise, it was chai. "So where exactly am I?" she asked, putting her cup down.

_I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet,_ sniped Inner Sakura as she took a sip of her tea. _This is where the Old Bitch trapped me when she sealed me away inside of your mind. But as you know well by now,_ she continued pointing to the broken gate, _I'm not trapped anymore._

"How did I get here?" Sakura added a few spoonfuls of sugar to her tea.

_I brought you here when you fell unconscious so I could heal you,_ Inner Sakura sent a cold glare in the direction of the trophy case. _Kisame hurt us worse than I thought. You're teammates are alright,_ she added before Sakura could ask. _They're watching over you. I can hear their annoying chatter,_ she delicately pinched the bridge of her nose as if she felt the beginnings of a migraine.

"I'm going to have to answer their questions when I wake up," Sakura sighed, biting her lip worriedly.

_What are you going to tell them?_ Inner Sakura leaned forward and fixed Sakura with an intense gaze, her dark eyes hardening to match the onyx stone that rested on her hand.

"What do you want me to tell them?" the question came out in a fearful whisper.

Inner Sakura smiled sinisterly and reach across the table, grasping Sakura's hand in a mock comforting gesture. _Tell them everything…_

_

* * *

_

"Her chakra flow is stabilizing!" exclaimed Neji, stopping Sai before her could respond to Naruto and drawing everyone's attention back to Sakura.

Naruto instantly dashed to Sakura's side marveling at the thin white scar that marred her back, the only reminder of the incapacitating wound. He watched Sakura slowly stir and gingerly touch her back as she sat up on all fours. It didn't take long for Naruto to scoop her up in a bone crushing bear hug.

"Naruto-kun…if you don't let go…I'm going to pass out again…" she squeezed out between desperate gasps for air.

"Sorry Sakura-chan, I'm just glad that you're okay," Naruto smiled sheepishly, loosening his grip but keeping the kunoichi in an embrace.

"That's the problem, Naruto, I'm not okay," Sakura said sadly. "I haven't been okay for awhile." She gently broke out of Naruto's secure embrace and faced all of her teammates. Her eyes locked with Sai's knowing gaze.

"Tell me what's wrong," Naruto coaxed, grasping her head and threading his fingers with hers. "I want to help you."

Sakura stared at their interlocked hands and felt the corners of her lips twitch into a small smile. She hoped he would still be holding her hand when she was done explaining. "To be honest Naruto, I don't exactly understand it all myself," Sakura began keeping her gaze on their hands. "I didn't have anyone to talk to, so she talked to me. I've always been able to hear her, ever since I was a little girl."

The four shinobi exchanged glances before turning their attention back to the pink-haired kunoichi. "Who have you always been able to hear, Sakura-chan?" asked Naruto.

"I thought she was my conscience," Sakura continued, oblivious to the exchange and Naruto's question. "You know how they always used to tell us as children that we should follow that tiny voice in our heads that tells us what's right and what's wrong? That's what I thought she was," her tone began to sound more and more pleading, as if begging her small audience for mercy as the judged her. "If I had known how twisted her ideas of right and wrong were, I never would have listened to her. I would have ignored her when Amie-"

"Amie?" interrupted Shikamaru. "You mean that girl back at the academy that always used to tease you for your looks?"

Sakura nodded and kept her gaze on her and Naruto's hands. "She had a puppy," she took a deep breath and squeezed Naruto's hand. Naruto squeezed back encouragingly and Sakura continued. "I just wanted her to stop making fun of me. I just wanted to stop hurting," she reasoned. "_She_ told me _she_ would help me, and told me I had to do it if I wanted Amie to leave me alone. So I gutted her puppy and strung it up in the woods I knew Amie used to take to get home—"

Sakura's voice broke off and she risked a glance up at her teammates. Shikamaru and Neji wore identical looks of surprised horror. Even Sai's normally emotionless visage held traces of disgust and terror. She didn't look at Naruto's face. She couldn't bear to see him look at her with a look like that.

"I told Amie that if she didn't back off, I would do the same thing to her," Sakura rushed on, returning her gaze to her and Naruto's hands. She was surprised that they were still so firmly interlocked. "_She_ told me to say it so I did, and it worked. The next day Ino gave me that headband so it looked like Amie stopped teasing me because I changed my appearance. I felt so bad though, but _she _told me it was necessary, that sometimes you have to take extreme measures to get results. I was lonely and I felt like _she_ was my protector. I thought that _she_ was encouraging me to stand up for myself. I thought that the incident with Amie was just an extreme case because _she_ didn't tell me to do anything like that again for awhile. It wasn't until," she took another pause to take a deep breath, but this time for another reason. This part of her story was more painful than it was shameful.

"When Sasuke left and you went to study with Jiraiya, I was all alone," Sakura began again. "I know you had to go, you had to get stronger and so did I," Naruto squeezed her hand comfortingly again. "It was _her_ idea to ask Shishou to take me on as her student. I learned medical ninjutsu, and I gained better control of my chakra as well as made some improvement in taijutsu. Shishou was so hard on me, but she needed to be. Kakashi-sama had been so lenient with me that I lacked discipline. _She_ didn't like Shishou being so harsh with me, and one day _she_ just…took over. I don't know exactly what happened, it was like I just blacked out," Sakura looked up in time to catch her teammates exchange another glance with each other, and she looked back down at her hand still holding Naruto's although there was now some noticeable slack.

Sakura began to panic, but she couldn't work up the courage to look Naruto in the face. She couldn't bear to see him look at her and think she was crazy. "Shishou sealed _her_ away, but this time she's not going to help me. She can't because I listened to _her _again and now Shishou is dead and it's all my fault!" Sakura was on the verge of being hysterical. Tears fell uncontrollably from her eyes as she began to ramble incoherently. "I wish Sasuke had killed me! Then I wouldn't have had to do what I did. I wouldn't have ended up in the hospital because I would have been dead. That hospital was hell and I could stay there anymore. I wanted to escape so badly that I had to listen to _her_ again. _She_ helped me get out but this time I had to pay a price. I can't control _her_ anymore. I can't control her, I can't control her!"

Sakura broke down completely as she felt Naruto release her hand. She fell to her hands and knees, bowing her head in shame as she continued to cry. She wanted her teammates to stop exchanging that look every time she did or said something crazy, she wanted to stop hurting, but more importantly, she wanted Naruto to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, even if it really wasn't. As if her wish had been granted she felt two strong arms embrace her and pull her against a rock hard chest. She looked up and found Sai's face staring down at her concernedly. She turned her head frantically until she saw Naruto's retreating back. He didn't look back as he walked away from the kunoichi.

Sakura knew her heart was breaking, even though she was too numb to feel it. She also knew that the words Sai was murmuring in her ear and the looks that Shikamaru and Neji were giving her were supposed to be comforting, but she just couldn't feel it. She couldn't feel anything until she felt Sai's lips brush against her temple. With that simple, almost accidental, touch Sakura felt something inside of her snap. Suddenly she wanted to feel Sai's lips all over her body just so she could convince herself that she could still feel. As soon as the idea formed in her head she began to feel guilty. Sai had just forgiven her for a rather embarrassing, rather awkward, attempt to use him as her Sasuke substitute. She thought he wouldn't appreciate it if she used him as her Naruto substitute as well. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered the violent way Sai had kissed her as he demanded to be seen as an individual and not a replacement. She didn't want a repeat, especially with Shikamaru and Neji watching.

"Sakura Haruno," a voice called, snapping her out of her reminiscence. Sakura lifted her gaze to find Yamato and Pakkun standing over her, a scroll held in the nin-dog's mouth.

"Yes?" she asked, looking up at her former taichou confusedly as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"You're wanted for questioning in the attempted murder of the Hokage," Yamato said formally, grabbing the scroll that held her arrest warrant from Pakkun and handing it to Shikamaru.

"Kakashi-sama was attacked?" questioned Shikamaru grabbing the scroll and looking it over closely. He almost dropped it when he saw who had signed the warrant.

Neji looked over the lazy genius's shoulder to inspect the warrant. His eyes widened as he read the signature. "The warrant was issued by Tsunade-sama?"

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Thanks again for reading, now it's time for the reviewing ;) I just want to give another special shout out to **InARealPickle** for kindly reminding me that this is supposed to be a romance as well so I'll make sure the next chapter has a little more love in it...cross my heart.


	14. Chapter 14

Wow, it's been awhile, eh? I apologize for the unscheduled and unannounced hiatus I've been on for the past month and change but the holiday season sucked terribly for me. On a positive note, I did exceedingly well grade-wise over the semester, and I'm back and ready to continue this fic! Thank you very much for your patience with me, and as always, thank you for the reviews and the alerts/favoriting. The support really helps :)

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**Conjugal Visit**

Naruto had to walk away. If he didn't, all of the control he had gained over the Kyuubi would have been lost. He felt the fox demon within stir in annoyance as he put more distance between himself and Sakura. The Kyuubi seemed to have taken an interest in Sakura, or at least her dark and disturbed personality that occasionally made an appearance. The Tailed Beast had been intrigued by the kunoichi's story and had been angered when Naruto began to walk away. Naruto risked a quick glance with his peripherals and immediately felt a flare of jealousy as he glimpsed an emotionally broken Sakura in Sai's arms. He wasn't sure if the jealousy he felt was his own or the Kyuubi's. All he knew was that if he didn't distance himself soon, he was going to lose it and beat Sai within an inch of his life.

He knew he couldn't blame Sai for everything. More than anything he was angry with himself. Everything Shikamaru had said was true, Naruto should never have left without tending to the fragile medic first. "Dobe," he muttered under his breath as he cursed himself for failing Sakura again. He had left, again, so he could grow stronger, again, to make Sakura happy and reunite Team 7, again. He had spent the majority of his shinobi career trying to meet this goal, but now he began to question whether or not it was even worth it anymore. Sakura was already cracking under the emotional pressure, and from her story, it sounded as if she had been hurting for a very long time. Perhaps what upset him most about her story was that she had been struggling for so long, and he failed to see it. He had failed her once again.

It wasn't long after Naruto returned to the crumbling temple grounds that he was at a complete loss again. He simply stood back and watched as Yamato dragged a chained and hysterical Sakura back into the decaying temple followed by her dejected teammates. Sakura was too busy crying and babbling to herself to notice the Jinchuriki as she was led past him and into an empty room that would serve as a temporary prison. Shikamaru and Neji both wore mirrored expressions of concern and deep thought, as if calculating the best method to aid their comrade. Sai was the only one who even acknowledged the blonde shinobi's presence, giving him an imploring look.

"They want to take her back to Konoha," explained Sai, his tone showing hints of anxiety.

"Good, she needs the help," Naruto said heatedly. "She never should have been sent out here in the first place," he added, glaring at the wooden door that held Sakura within her cell as Yamato put a locking seal on it. "How could you let it get this bad?"

"I could ask you the same question," Sai countered with a narrowing of his eyes. "You heard her, she's been struggling with this since before Team 7 even formed. You knew her back then too, didn't you? Why didn't you help her then? Why did you stand back and wait for all the emotional stress in her life to make her condition worse? She attacked Tsunade-sama, for Kami's sake! She's going to be charged as a criminal!"

"Baa-chan would never file criminal charges against Sakura-chan for something that happened so long ago," Naruto said with a confused frown on his face. "Besides, Baa-chan sealed away this other presence once, I'm sure Kakashi-sama can figure—"

"Naruto," Sai cut in quietly. "Sakura wasn't arrested because of what she told us in her story. After you walked away, Yamato-taichou came with an arrest warrant issued from Tsunade-sama herself claiming that Sakura tried to kill her the night before we left for our mission."

"Baa-chan is awake?" exclaimed Naruto. "That's great, she'll be able to help Sakura!"

"You don't get it," Neji said, butting into the conversation. "Sakura is still going to be held responsible for her actions, despite the fact that she is clearly not in control of herself. What she did wasn't just attempted murder, it was treason. She could spend the rest of her life in a prison cell, or worse yet, she could be executed."

"But Baa-chan wouldn't let Sakura-chan suffer like that," Naruto tried to reason.

"You idiot," Shikamaru cut in rudely. "You just don't get it do you? It's not up to Tsunade-sama what happens to Sakura. Treason cases are decided by the Elder Council. Tsunade-sama won't be able to help her. She could recommend leniency, but it's unlikely the council will grant her that. The elders don't believe Sakura has any real standing in the shinobi world. She doesn't even come from a prestigious shinobi clan, they dismiss her as just a civilian that lucked out and made the shinobi cut."

"But she's the Hokage's apprentice and a member of Team 7," Naruto said.

"That just makes her case seem worse," Neji said. "Especially since Orochimaru, who studied under the last Hokage, murdered him and nearly destroyed the village. The Elder Council is just going to think that history is repeating itself, and that Sakura is following the same path. As for her being a part of Team 7, the council wasn't really in favor of the team even being formed in the first place, and now that it's not even a real team anymore, the council will just take that as proof that Sakura had no business being a kunoichi."

"Sakura can't go back to Konoha," Shikamaru concluded.

"So how are we going to help her?" Sai asked. Naruto perked at the question and turned expectantly at the lazy genius.

"We'll have to find someone who can treat her deteriorated mental state, but first, we have to get her off this island," Shikamaru said, formulating a plan in his head.

* * *

Sakura sat against the wall facing the door of her cell with her arms chained securely above her head in chakra dampening chains.

_I'm bored_, Inner Sakura complained loudly within Sakura's mind.

"I'm busy," Sakura sniped back, annoyed.

_Looks to me as if you're just sitting here and brooding,_ Inner Sakura observed.

"What do you want?" Sakura snapped quietly.

_Stimulating conversation since I can't be stimulated in any other way while your hands are tied and there's no one else here with us_, Inner Sakura deadpanned coyly.

"I don't really feel like being your source of entertainment right now. Besides, I let you out to have your fun earlier on the condition that you would leave me alone for awhile," Sakura sighed, silently hoping that her subconscious would just leave her alone. Unfortunately for Sakura, she had no such luck.

_Change of circumstances altered our deal,_ Inner Sakura said dismissively. _You should have listened to me when I told you that we needed to strike out on our own,_ Inner Sakura chided. _Now look at you, chained to the wall like a fucking criminal, and right after you stop an Akatsuki member from attacking Konoha's coveted Kyuubi container. Ungrateful fucking bast-_

"But I am a fucking criminal," Sakura interrupted softly, "I tried to kill Shishou."

_Oh yes, your poor beloved Shishou,_ Inner Sakura mocked.

"There's no need to sound so jealous," Sakura snapped sullenly.

_Jealous? I have absolutely nothing to be jealous of, _Inner Sakura quickly countered, causing Sakura to flinch from the grating pain her subconscious's tone inflicted inside of her head. _Fuck that Old Bitch's training! I see now that it was a mistake to even go to her in the first place. I thought she would make you strong, help you realize that we don't need Team 7 in order to be a true kunoichi, but I was wrong to entrust you to her._ Sakura was surprised when she heard her subconscious take on a softer, gentler tone. _She tried to take me away from you, she had to be punished. I've always looked out for you, Sakura, haven't I?_

The pink haired medic nodded her head stiffly as warm tears spilled down her cheeks.

_There's no need to cry, Sakura,_ her subconscious soothed. _I'll get us out of here, and I'll take care of you, like I always have…Heads up, we have company._

Sakura snapped her head up at attention and was met with a familiar set of blue eyes. Sakura was overwhelmed with the look of affection and concern held within the gaze and had to look away or else she would start crying again. She was so very tired of crying all the time.

"Please don't be angry with me," Naruto begged, collapsing down in front of her and throwing his arms around her. "I had to walk away. The Kyuubi was acting strangely and I—"

"Naruto," Sakura cut in gently. "There's something else that I have to tell you." She rattled the chains above her head softly to bring the blonde shinobi's attention to her chained wrists. Naruto took a sharp intake of breath as his gaze rested upon the thin white scars that peeked through the chains binding her wrists.

"What did you do to yourself?" Naruto whispered sadly, reaching up and gently running his hands over her bound wrists. His hands continued their path downwards, caressing her forearms and passing her smooth elbows, before roughing grabbing her by her well-toned upper arms. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

Sakura gasped at her friend's sudden switch from sadness to anger and cringed as she felt Naruto's fingers dig into her flesh with bruising force.

_I think I rather like this rougher side of Foxy,_ Inner Sakura cooed playfully. _Let me come out and play again, please?_ she begged as she forced Sakura to wrap her legs around Naruto's waist to bring him closer to her.

"Sakura, what are you—" Naruto immediately blushed as he felt her thighs squeeze him closer to her.

"Naruto, you're hurting me," Sakura said, struggling to maintain control as she felt Naruto cover her body with his own.

_Don't lie to yourself, you know you want him just as much as I do_, her subconscious's voice echoed in her head as she felt Naruto's hands release her to cup her face. She was startled at her inner demon's words, but perhaps more so by the intense look of want in Naruto's eyes.

"Who's in control right now Sakura-chan?" he asked, searching deeply into the pink haired medic's gaze for his familiar team mate. His lips hovered over her own, waiting for her answer.

"I am," Sakura said defiantly, pushing her subconscious back roughly before closing the distance between herself and the blonde shinobi, kissing him gently. However, the sudden feeling of Naruto's hands sliding up her thighs still firmly holding him in place distracted her and granted Inner Sakura a brief victory. Resurfacing, the mischievous demon bit the Jinchuriki's bottom lip roughly and smirked at the answering growl escaping his lips, a signal that the Kyuubi was stirring. Acting on pure instinct, Naruto let his hands slid up from her silky thighs to caress the full bust covered in the tattered green jounin vest. Encouraged by the answering moan of pleasure against his mouth, he let his fingers teasingly grasp the zipper to her top before slowly tugging it down. Pushing her now unzipped vest open, he let his hands wander to grasp her breasts now clad only in a simple black bra as his mouth planted a trail of kisses from her mouth, down her jaw, to the warm inviting flesh of her throat. He smirked at the sigh of contentment released by the chained female beneath him.

"Foxy, you're making me so wet right now," the kunoichi purred.

The sound of the unfamiliar tone and use of the nickname snapped Naruto to his senses as he jerked back from the medic as if burned. "What have you done to my Sakura-chan?" Naruto spat, violently shoving her into the stoned wall she was chained to.

The pink haired medic let out a surprised cry of pain as the Jinchuriki grabbed her chained wrists in a bruising grip, before meeting his angry gaze with a coquettish one. "If you really want it rough, we're going to have to come up with a safety word, don't you think?" she playfully quipped, before laughing at the immediate blush that burned across Naruto's face.

Naruto abruptly let go and distanced himself, struggling to maintain his precarious control over the Kyuubi. He shivered in suppressed pleasure as he felt the foreign chakra within his ex team mate reach out and caress the Tailed Beast within him. "Stop it," the command came out in a pitiful whisper.

"Stop what, Foxy?" she asked in a saccharine tone, looking up at him coyly.

"Naruto?" Sai called on the other side of the door, giving a soft knock. "Are you two ready yet?"

"Ready for what?" the possessed Sakura asked, dropping the overtly sexual façade and fixing him with an intense look. "Are you planning a jailbreak?"

"Give us a minute, Sai," Naruto answered before turning to the chained girl before him. "We want to help Sakura."

"You're planning on trying to get rid of me, aren't you Foxy?" she responded giving a knowing smile. "It'll be harder than you think. I don't plan on letting go this time."

"I'll figure out a way," Naruto promised, moving to unchain the unstable girl.

"Just like you figured out a way to bring Sasuke back home?" she countered, rubbing her newly freed wrists and standing up slowly. She had barely reached her full height when she was suddenly thrown back up against the wall, her arms caught in a bruising grip. "Foxy," she began, her eyes flashing as the beginnings of anger stirred within, "This game is starting to get old."

"Naruto," Sai interrupted from the other side of the door his tone sounding more urgent, "We have to go now."

"Can I trust you to behave?" Naruto asked.

"I'll do you one better," she began, breaking the Jinchuriki's hold on her easily, "I'll let you have her back, for now."

Naruto watched curiously as the hardened emerald eyes shifted to the softer, familiar apple green of his former team mate. He shivered involuntarily as the demonic chakra caressed against his teasingly in farewell.

"Naruto?"

He let out a sigh of relief as he heard the familiar tone in her voice as she looked up at his curiously. He enveloped the fragile kunoichi in a warm hug as he promised, "I'm going to free you, Sakura-chan."

Sakura smiled warmly as she returned the hug, unaware that the Jinchuriki had meant to free her from her domineering subconscious and not just from the island.

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Thank you again for reading! Now please help me start the Spring Semester (which starts in two days) off right and review! Hope your holidays were great (if you were inclined to celebrate). On an final note, I know many of you have been asking about Sasuke's whereabouts and whether this is going to be a SakuNaru fic. I am completely at the mercy of my muse's whims. She, being the sexually liberated deity that she is, persuades me to not really tie Sakura down to one specific pairing. With that said, this is probably going to turn into a love triangle that looks more like a rhombus (or some other funny sounding shape). I have certain ideas of what I want to do, I just haven't written the chapters yet. I will say that Sasuke will be making more than just an appearance soon, and things will get bloody and sexy reall quick. I might be asking for too much, but please be patient with me...I promise you'll like what I do ;) Thank you again!


	15. Kidnapped

Oh snap, I'm not dead! So yeah, sorry about hte lack of updates but I'm having my ass handed to me this semester. Between my love hate relationship with Caryl Churchill (love her plays, hate the lack of research material on her especially when I have to write a 15 page research paper on her) and the amount of reading I have to do for my Toni Morrison class, I've barely had any time to do anything that wasn't school related. So I do apologize because I did miss this story.

I'm also going to apologize in advance because I personally don't think this chapter is as good a the previous ones. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear but I'm going to preface that with the excuse that this chapter is needed to move the plot forward, to set up the much anticipated reunion between Sakura and Sasuke, and to somewhat follow the cannon material Kishimoto has layed out for me. With that said, I hope you don't completely hate...

As always, I do not own Naruto, though I'd totally do the rich bitch dance if I did.

I'd also like to give a shout out to **AnimaniacXOX** mainly because I'm glad she's doing better and has gone back to writing...I'm envious of her ideas. And I'd like to thank **KurosakiLove** for showing me how to get around the Error Type 2 that kept popping up when I tried to update...you're a sweetheart. Oh yeah, don't forget to review! Reviews make my Churchill research easier :) Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/favorited/alerted and thank you for your patience with me.

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**Kidnapped**

"Sakura, run!"

Sakura looked around disoriented, trying to gain her bearings. She had been standing too closely to the exploding tag Shikamaru had thrown to distract Yamato, Guy, and Killer Bee, and now she felt as if she was moving in a haze. She felt disconnected, as if someone else was moving for her as time slowed down, and she stumbled through the dust cloud that distorted her view, a byproduct of the explosion. Her ears were ringing, if anyone was shouting for her, she couldn't hear them. Unfortunately for her, there was one voice that she could never escape, even in deafness.

_Someone else will be moving for you if you don't start moving faster_, Inner Sakura sniped, _Or do you want to be executed for treason?_

Sakura quickly sobered at the sound of her subconscious's tone and made a beeline for the temple's exit as the smoke cleared. She ran past Neji, Shikamaru, and Naruto engaged in combat without a second glance. She couldn't afford the distraction. As she neared the exit, Sai grabbed her hand and pulled her outside, running at breakneck speed.

Without pause, they ran through the surrounding jungle, Sakura barely noticing as she dodged low hanging branches and leaped over fallen trunks and debris, her focus intent on escape and survival. She was oblivious to the death grip Sai had on her hand as he lead her through the thick vegetation, afraid her unstable personality would win over and he would become separated from her, lose her for good. It wasn't until they reached the island's shoreline, a dead end, that Sakura was able to notice the lack of feeling in her hand.

"How did you plan on us escaping an island again?" Sakura asked through gasping breath as she doubled over and tried to loosen her hand from Sai's vice-like grip.

Without a word Sai reluctantly let go and whipped out a scroll and inkbrush, quickly sketching a few large birds before summoning the ink beasts. "We're going to fly off," he deadpanned as he reached for her hand again.

"Are we waiting for the others?" she asked considering the number of birds he drew. She ignored the possessive way Sai interlocked their fingers.

"We agreed that I'd wait five minutes when I reached the shore, and if they don't show up, you and I are to leave without them."

"What if our team mates don't show up but Yamato-taichou does?"

"Then you're to escape while I distract him." Sai turned to the medic-nin and fixed her with a determined gaze as his grip on her hand tightened. "You have to get off this island no matter what. Don't worry about what happens to us, we'll find you, but you can't go back to Konoha."

Sakura nodded her head in understanding to cover her wincing in pain, and glanced at the tree-lines anxiously. She hoped her friends were the ones to appear, she didn't want to have to escape on her own.

_But you wouldn't be alone, Sakura-chan,_ her subconscious teased. _I'd make sure you escape, and I'll kill anyone who tries to take you back to Konoha._

Sakura shivered from the creepily concerned tone echoing in her head in a vain attempt to silence the voice, and instead turned her focus onto the hand that Sai was slowly beginning to crush. "Sai please, you're hurting me."

"I don't want to lose you," Sai said, his gaze on her intense. "I lost my brother, my only friend, I don't want to lose you too."

Sakura's eyes widened at the desperation in his tone, startled by the rare display of emotion. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere except with you and the rest of our team, I promise." She let out a sigh of relief as she felt Sai's hold slacken and let her gaze fall back to the trees, intently searching for any sign of her friends.

"I know that's a promise that you can't make, but thank you anyways," Sai said quietly as his thumb began to massage the back of her hand.

_You know, we could just slit his throat and escape on our own,_ Inner Sakura gently suggested. Sakura quickly shifted her gaze from the trees to the artist-nin standing closely beside her. _It would be so easy too with Heartless in this emotional state. All you have to do is—_

"Look out!"

Inner Sakura was silenced as Sai threw himself on top of the pink haired girl, shielding her with his body from an unexpected explosion. Sakura involuntarily clutched Sai closer to her, pressing her face into his chest as she clung to her human shield. She blushed as she remembered the circumstances surrounding the last time she had been this physically close to Sai and cursed herself for letting her mind fall to those distracting thoughts during a combat situation. At least this time she was fully clothed, and Sai wasn't angry with her anymore; however, she would rather be violently pressed up against Sai because they were still working out their differences and not because someone was trying to blow them up. As Sakura shook her head to clear those thoughts, a shadow passed over them. The two shinobi looked up to see a giant clay bird flying overhead with two cloaked riders.

"Deidara!" Sakura exclaimed in surprise as she recognized the attack and the flying clay bird. "But he died in a suicide bombing when he fought Sasuke." Despite her shock at being attacked by a dead man, her heart still clenched painfully at the utterance of her old team mate's name. However, she gave herself points for not immediately looking at Sai when she mentioned Sasuke. She wasn't comparing the artist-nin to her ex-team mate anymore. She watched transfixed as the two Akatsuki members landed and moved towards them. Although she could see Deidara, his companion was hidden in the shadows of his cloak.

"You call this art?" Deidara began disdainfully as he surveyed Sai's ink birds. "I bet he can't even make them explode, yeah?"

"Deidara, shut up," a cool voice commanded. Sakura's eyes widened in surprise as she recognized the voice.

"Sai get off of me," her voice quavered as she struggled to get up. Sai, sensing her distress, quickly disentangled himself from the kunoichi and glanced at the enshrouded Akatsuki member.

"What's wrong, Kunoichi?" mocked the Akatsuki member as he pulled his hood down and revealed a shock of red hair atop an impossibly handsome enemy. "Afraid you won't be able to kill me again without my grandmother's help?"

"Sasori," Sakura gasped as she slowly stood up and took a defensive stance. "But you're dead." Although Sasori was correct in declaring he was her first kill, it wasn't exactly like it was murder. Sasori had been trying to kill her. It wasn't like he was unconscious and hooked up to life support. It wasn't cold blooded murder.

_Is that what the Old Bitch told you to make the nightmares stop after you killed him?_ Inner Sakura mocked.

Sakura shivered at the memory of those nightmares. She remembered waking up screaming at night convinced Sasori was not really dead and was intent on getting his revenge. Her shishou had eased her guilt by explaining to her that she was in a kill-or-be-killed situation and that Sasori had forced her hand. The nightmares had stopped after that, but now she wondered if with the return of her inner demon had brought the return of other psychological problems. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, convinced that she was hallucinating. She was convinced that the guilt over killing of another Akatsuki member, Kisame, was manifesting itself into hallucinations of her first kill.

_Would you like me to pinch you?_ Inner Sakura said in a tone that suggested she was rolling her eyes.

Unperturbed by her subconscious' remark, she opened she opened her eyes and let out a sigh of relief to find him gone.

"Oh good," Sasori whispered mockingly in her ear from behind, grinning in amusement as Sakura visibly jumped in surprise. "I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about me. You know, it's rude to forget about your first kill." Gently, almost tenderly, he let his hands rest on her shoulders before letting them move down, caressing her arms as he felt her chakra begin to stir within her.

"You're surprisingly warm for a dead man," Sakura deadpanned.

Sasori frowned, taken aback by the sudden change in her chakra and the sudden change in her tone. Whereas before she seemed fragile and off-guard from shock, now she seemed confident and battle-ready. His mind flashed to the look of determination on her blood covered face as she dealt him the killing blow and forced him to tell her about Orochimaru's hideout. She had gone through a slight personality change then too, but now it seemed more pronounced. They hadn't even started to fight yet and there seemed to be something wrong. The change was too rapid, too extreme. Something was different about his murderess and it intrigued him. He noticed that her companion was eyeing her with increasing alarm.

"How are you two alive?" Sai questioned, keeping his gaze on Sakura. He had immediately noticed the change in her tone and demeanor as she came to grips with facing a perceived to be dead enemy. From the outright hatred in Sasori's eyes, Sai had a feeling things were about to get pretty ugly. He just wasn't sure if Sasori's revenge or Sakura's split personality would be the source of that ugliness. He hoped Naruto and the others would hurry soon.

"We were resurrected to fight for Kabuto," Sasori explained, unable to hide the disdain in his voice as he spat out the name of his former servant now turned master. Although he answered Sai's question, he kept his gaze locked onto the back of the medic-nin's voice. He didn't know why, but he began to think that if he could see her face, he wouldn't be able to recognize the girl in front of him.

"Kabuto has joined the Akatsuki?" asked Sakura, quirking her head to the side. "I guess he wants to feel relevant in this war now doesn't he?" Her mocking tone suggested that she was smiling. Sasori desperately wanted to see how that suspected twisted smile would distort her face.

"Well that's a silly question, yeah?" Deidara said stepping forward. "Did you think Kabuto was just going to stand aside as the next Great Ninja War breaks out? Sasori no Danna, let me take care of them for you."

"As much as I would like to make you suffer Kunoichi, I am on a mission," Sasori sighed, stepping away from Sakura and returning to Deidara's side. As he passed the pink-haired girl, he caught a glimpse of her face out of the corner of his eye. As suspected he didn't recognize the smirk or the combination of disinterest, lust and, violence in her eyes. "Go ahead, Deidara, but be quick about it. I might be dead, but I still hate waiting." His gaze immediately snapped back to his murderess when he noticed her chakra had returned to normal. He wondered if the fact that he had triggered the personality change, and now that he wasn't going to be her opponent, she had returned to normal. However, there was another reason his attention had snapped back to the medic-nin. Kabuto had taken a sudden interest in the kunoichi.

"I'll make you pay for killing my sempai, yeah?" Deidara fixed Sakura with a leering glare as the mouths in his hands began to vomit out clay spiders.

Sakura shrieked in disgust as one landed on her arm. She quickly brushed it off before it exploded.

_If I were you, I wouldn't let anymore of them land on you,_ Inner Sakura warned. _I don't know about you, but being blown up is not the way I plan for us to die._

"You have a plan for us to die?" Sakura exclaimed as she moved to dodged more exploding clay spiders.

"Who are you talking to?" Sasori asked, fixing his murderess with a curious gaze.

Sakura opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sudden appearance of Yamato.

"Excellent, one of our targets has arrived, yeah," Deidara said, moving to attack the newly arrived Leaf Shinobi.

"An Akatsuki attack?" Yamato exclaimed, surprised to see Sakura and Sai defending themselves. He had expected to find the two struggling to escape the island, not fighting off two supposedly dead Akatsuki members. "Wood Locking Wall!" he quickly performed the jutsu, constructing a defensive wall between the Leaf shinobi and the Akatsuki. "Sakura, Sai, get Naruto and Killer Bee out of here!"

"Wait, you were hell-bent on stopping us from leaving, and now you're just going to let us go?" Sai asked suspiciously.

"Circumstances dictate a priority change," Yamato explained. "Protecting the Jinchuurikis is more important than executing an arrest warrant. Now move, I won't be able to hold them off for much longer!"

Sakura and Sai made a dash for the jungle, eager to regroup with their team mates and finally escape.

* * *

As Sakura ran through the thick vegetation with Sai in front of her, looking for her comrades, she was surprised by the overwhelming urge to kill Sasori again. What surprised her most was that the urge did not stem from her darker personality, it stemmed from herself.

_See, we're not that different after all_, Inner Sakura smirked. _We could just kill them all and be done with it. No one would come looking for us for awhile, at least until the war is over…if Konoha wins that is._

"Don't you ever tire of being violent?" Sakura asked exasperated.

_We're kunoichi. Violence is all we have. Well, maybe not _all_ we have_, Inner Sakura ended suggestively.

Sakura opened her mouth to retort, when suddenly her hand moved on its own to grab a kunai out of the small bag on her hip. "What the hell are you trying to make me do?"

_It's not me_, Inner Sakura said defensively.

"Sakura what are you doing?" shouted Sai in alarm as he narrowly dodged an attempted stab in the back. However, Sakura did not stop and charged at the artist-nin again, slashing at his abdomen. Sai had not been fast enough to dodge that time and blood splattered onto the ground as he suffered a deep gash across his stomach. He had to be quicker next time, or Sakura would end up splattering his guts all over the jungle floor.

"Sai, I can't stop it," Sakura cried, tears beginning to spring in her eyes. "You have to run away."

"I know you can control her, Sakura," Sai reasoned in a calming voice. However, it was hard to look reasonable when you were covered in your own blood and concentrating on keeping your organs from spilling out. "You told me before that you were in control. I believe in you, I know you can maintain control."

"It's not her Sai," Neji said from behind the medic, causing Sakura to whirl around as he emerged suddenly from the surrounding forest to join his comrades. He turned his Byakugan on and examined the unstable medic closely. "There are chakra strings attached to her. Someone close by is controlling her. What happened at the shore, why didn't you two escape?"

"I think I can answer that," Sasori answered before jumping down from his hiding place amongst the treetops.

"Sasori?" exclaimed Neji. "How are you still alive?" He glanced at Sakura questioningly, briefly wondering if his team mate had lied when she claimed to kill the Akatsuki member.

"I am still very much dead," Sasori explained in a bored tone. "However, much as I control Sakura through my puppet technique, Kabuto controls me through his Impure Souls Resurrection."

"Where's Yamato-taicho?" Sakura demanded, relieved that she was attacking her team mates anymore.

"With Deidara for safe-keeping," Sasori began. "He was our objective, but now Kabuto has taken an interest in you my murderess, so you will be coming with me."

"You won't be taking her anywhere," Sai said, moving to put himself between the pink haired girl and the Akatsuki member, but something was wrong. A numbing sensation throbbed its way through his body from the wound to his abdomen until Sai felt himself sinking to his knees. It wasn't until he was lying face down in the dirt that he remembered Sakura's kunais were laced with poison.

"Don't even think about it," Sasori warned, as Neji moved to attack the undead Suna-nin. He yanked Sakura towards him with his chakra strings and manipulated her limbs so that she held her own kunai to her throat. "One step and I'll make her slit her pretty little neck."

Neji looked into the frightened eyes of his team mate, knowing that he was defeated. However, he fixed her with a determined gaze. "Stay strong, Sakura. No matter what, don't forget that we'll rescue you. We won't stop looking until you're back with us."

"How touching," Sasori sneered as he manipulated Sakura's limbs again. The pink haired medic let out a cry of protest as the Puppet Master made her throw the kunai at the Hyuuga clan member. Tears streamed out of her eyes as she watched the blade sink into his shoulder. The poison didn't take long to paralyze the Konoha-nin.

"Don't worry, Koishii," Sasori began, smirking at the tears streaking his murderesses face. "I promise this experience will be as excruciating as you think it will be." Without hesitation, he hit a pressure point in the back of Sakura's neck, knocking her out cold.

The last thing Sakura remembered before the darkness swallowed her whole was the sight of her comrades face down on the ground, and the overwhelming fear of what was to come in captivity.

* * *

Thank you again for reading, and I hope it wasn't as god awful as I made it out to seem. There probably won't be another update until May, but I promise things are going to get a lot more interesting in the next chapter. Let me know what you think :)


	16. POW

Yeah, so this is a lot earlier than expected, but what can I say, I got smacked with inspiration and had some free time today. Plus which I feel like I owed it to you guys for the crappiness that was last chapter (though I thank you all for your kindness is not sending me angry reviews berating me). In my research of the US rules of conduct of POWs, I was inspired to use direct quotes from the actual US Code of Conduct but modify it to make it fit the Narutoverse. So yes, there are direct quotes from the US Code of Conduct, meaning they weren't written by me. I just kind of thought it would be interesting to show Sakura struggle to remain sane in imprisonment by reflecting on her traiining in the academy.

Thank you again to those who have reviewed/alerted/favorited/read! It's nice to know that I haven't become completely irrelevant :)

As always, Naruto belongs to Kishimoto (lucky!) and the quotes are from the Code of the US Fighting Force that I pulled from Wikipedia.

I hope you like :)

* * *

**POW**

(Prisoner of War)

_Remember what Sexy-Teacher told you? _Inner Sakura coaxed. Sakura thought back to her academy days in Iruka's class. She remembered everything her sensei told her to prepare her for this moment. As she layed on the floor of her cell, blindfolded and naked except for the blood and dirt caked over bruised flesh, Sakura remembered everything Iruka taught her that day. She knew what to expect and what would be expected of her. She knew the Code of Conduct and could hear it, as if her sensei was standing in the room reading the pamphlet to her.

"As a member of the shinobi forces of Konohagakure you are protecting your village. It is your duty to oppose all enemies of Konohagakure and the Land of Fire in combat or, if a captive, in a prisoner of war compound. Your behavior is guided by the Code of Conduct, which has evolved from the heroic lives, experiences and deeds of Konoha shinobi from the Senju Clan Victory to the Third Shinobi World War."

Sakura had betrayed her village by failing to "oppose" Sasuke. She had worsened her traitor-status when she attempted to kill her shishou. But as she endured Sasori's brutality, she could feel her sins absolving. She could be redeemed if she could let her village's enemies torture her and she survived. That's why she smiled and whispered a, "Thank you," when Sasori broke every one of her fingers.

"Your obligations as a Konoha citizen and a member of the shinobi forces result from the traditional values that underlie the Konoha experience as a village. These values are best expressed in the Will of Fire, which you have sworn to uphold and defend. You would have these obligations—our village, your service and team and your fellow villagers—even if the Code of Conduct had never been formulated as a high standard of general behavior."

Sakura had made mistakes, but she was still a good kunoichi, and her status as a prisoner of war would confirm that. Isn't that what Iruka had said? "I am a Konoha kunoichi," had become her mantra as Sasori used her as a pincushion, stabbing her repeatedly with his poisoned needles.

"Just as you have a responsibility to your village under the Code of Conduct, the Hokage has an equal responsibility—to keep faith with you and stand by you as you fight for your village. If you are unfortunate enough to become a prisoner of war, you may rest assured that your Hokage will care for your dependents and will never forget you. Furthermore, the Hokage will use every practical means to contact, support and gain release for you and for all other prisoners of war."

This imprisonment would only be temporary, Iruka had ensured her and her classmates that. Her shishou would see that she was saved, and her parents would be taken care of. It didn't matter that Sakura had attempted to assassinate her Hokage, or that her parents had disowned her, she was a prisoner of war now. Everything would make itself right. Neji had promised her that they would come for her. Neji, Shikamaru, Sai, and Naruto, her four horsemen. They would deliver her from this torment, and she would be paraded like a hero. Hope sprang eternal as Sasori showed her various patches of skin he had removed from her.

"Experiences of captured Konoha shinobi reveal that to survive captivity honorably would demand from you great courage, deep dedication and high motivation. To sustain these personal values throughout captivity requires that you understand and believe strongly in our free and democratic institutions, love your village, trust in the justice of our cause, keep faithful and loyal to your fellow prisoners and hold firmly to your religious and moral beliefs in time of trial. Your courage, dedication and motivation supported by understanding, trust and fidelity will help you endure the terrors of captivity, prevail over your captors and return to your family, home and village with honor and pride."

She had love, she had faith, she had courage. Sakura had not screamed when Sasori broke her hymen with a kunai.

Iruka had required every one of his students to raise their right hands and take the oath on graduation day. As Sakura received her headband, etched with the insignia of Konoha, she had sworn, collectively with her classmates, "I am a Konoha shinobi fighting in the forces which guard my village and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense."

_What about your virginity?_ Inner Sakura inquired.

"We have the duty at all times and under all circumstances to oppose the enemies of Konohagakure and support its interests. In training or in combat, alone or with others, while evading capture or enduring captivity, this duty belongs to each of us defending our village regardless of circumstances. I will never surrender of my own free will."

_Even if they rape you?_ Inner Sakura interrupted

"If a taicho, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist. As an individual, I may never voluntarily surrender."

_Even if they rape you?_ Inner Sakura pressed again.

"When isolated and no longer able to inflict casualties on the enemy, I have an obligation to evade capture and rejoin friendly forces. Only when evasion by me is impossible and further fighting would lead only to death with no significant loss to the enemy should I consider surrender."

_You didn't surrender, Sakura, you were captured. _Inner Sakura coaxed.

"With all reasonable means of resistance exhausted and with certain death the only alternative, capture does not imply dishonor."

_Neither does rape, Sakura._

"The responsibility and authority of a taicho never extends to the surrender of a command to the enemy while the taicho has the power to fight and evade. When isolated, cut off or surrounded, a team must continue to fight until relieved or able to rejoin friendly forces through continued efforts to break out or evade the enemy."

_Where was your taicho when they came for you, Sakura?_ Inner Sakura demanded. _Where was Shikamaru?_

"If I am captured I will continue to resist by all means available. I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy."

_Did Sasori promise you something if you let him fuck you, Sakura?_ Inner Sakura asked, gently. _Did you let him fuck you?_

"The duty of a member of the armed forces to use all means available to resist the enemy is not lessened by the misfortune of captivity. A POW is still legally bound by the Konoha Council Code of Shinobi Justice and ethically guided by the Code of Conduct. Under provisions of the Kage Agreement, a prisoner of war is also subject to certain rules imposed by the captor village. When repatriated, a prisoner of war will not be condemned for having obeyed reasonable captor rules, such as sanitation regulations."

_Why hasn't he let you shower yet, Sakura?_

"The duty of a member of the armed forces to continue to resist does not mean a prisoner should engage in unreasonable harassment as a form of resistance, retaliation by captors to the detriment of that prisoner and other prisoners is frequently the primary result of such harassment."

_This wasn't your fault, Sakura._

"The Kage Agreement recognizes that a POW may have the duty to attempt escape. In fact, the Kage Agreement prohibits a captor village from executing a POW simply for attempting escape. A POW must be prepared to escape whenever the opportunity presents itself. However, as a matter of conscious determination, a POW must plan to escape, try to escape and assist others to escape."

_Ask me for my help, Sakura. I could do so much for you if you'd only let me take control._

"If I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information or take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way."

_Let me be your taicho, Sakura. Let me help you, Sakura._

"Informing or any other action to the detriment of a fellow prisoner is despicable and is expressly forbidden. Prisoners of war must avoid helping the enemy identify fellow prisoners who may have knowledge of particular value to the enemy and who may, therefore, be made to suffer coercive interrogation."

_You didn't answer their questions about me, Sakura. I'm grateful to you._

"Strong leadership and communication are essential to discipline. Discipline is the key to camp organization, resistance and even survival. Personal hygiene, camp sanitation and care of sick and wounded are imperative."

_Heal yourself, Sakura. You won't be of any use if you don't stay healthy and strong._

"When questioned, should I become a prisoner of war, I am required to give name, rank, service number, and date of birth. I will evade answering further questions to the utmost of my ability. I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my country and its allies or harmful to their cause."

_Why did they want you to sign a confession about the Uchiha Massacre?_

" Actions every POW should resist include making oral or written confessions and apologies, answering questionnaires, providing personal histories, creating propaganda recordings, broadcasting appeals to other prisoners of war, providing any other material readily usable for propaganda purposes, appealing for surrender or parole, furnishing self- criticisms and communicating on behalf of the enemy to the detriment of Konoha, its allies, its armed forces or other POWs. Every POW should also recognize that any confession signed or any statement made may be used by the enemy as a false evidence that the person is a "war criminal" rather than a POW. Several villages have made reservations to the Kage Agreement in which they assert that a "war criminal" conviction deprives the convicted individual of prisoner-of-war status, removes that person from protection under the Kage Agreement and revokes all rights to repatriation until a prison sentence is served."

_Why do they want you to sign a confession to the Uchiha Massacre? What is Konoha's involvement? You saw something on the Old Bitch's desk didn't you? Who is really responsible for the Uchiha Massacre, Sakura?_

"I will never forget that I am a Konoha shinobi, fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my village free. I will trust in my God and in Konohagakure."

_Let me be your God, Sakura._

"A member of the Konoha shinobi remains responsible for personal actions at all times."

_This wasn't your fault, Sakura._

"A member of the armed forces who is captured has a continuing obligation to resist and to remain loyal to village, service, team and fellow prisoners."

_Where are your team mates, Sakura?_

"Upon repatriation, POWs can expect their actions to be reviewed, both as to circumstances of capture and conduct during detention. The purpose of such review is to recognize meritorious performance as well as to investigate possible misconduct. Each review will be conducted with due regard for the rights of the individual and consideration for the conditions of captivity; captivity of itself is not a condition of culpability."

_You'll be a hero, Sakura._

"Members of the armed forces should remember that they and their dependents will be taken care of by the appropriate service and that pay and allowances, eligibility and procedures for promotion and benefits for dependents continue while the service member is detained. Service members should assure that their personal affairs and family matters (such as pay, powers of attorney, current will and provisions for family maintenance and education) are properly and currently arranged. Failure to so arrange matters can create a serious sense of guilt for a POW and place unnecessary hardship on family members."

_I am your family, Sakura._

"The life of a prisoner of war is hard. Each person in this stressful situation must always sustain hope and resist enemy indoctrination. Prisoners of war standing firm and united against the enemy will support and inspire one another in surviving their ordeal and in prevailing over misfortune with honor."

_You're a hero, Sakura…_

* * *

Sakura was startled from her thoughts as she heard the door to her cell open. She immediately curled within herself tighter in the fetal position on the floor, not out of fear, she wasn't afraid of abusive treatment anymore, but out of an attempt at modesty. They may have broken her body, but they would never break _her_.

Unable to see her visitor due to the blindfold, Sakura took a deep breath before repeating the same words she had repeated when Sasori had interrogated her, "My name is Haruno Sakura. I am a Konoha Jounin, born March 28. I am a member of Team Seven—"

"I know who you are, Sakura," interrupted a voice she had thought she would never hear again.

She lifted her head off the floor and turned towards the direction of the voice in disbelief, wishing her blindfold would be removed so she could visually confirm what her ears were telling her. As if granting her wish, her visitor gently removed the blindfold, and Sakura hesitantly opened her eyes, afraid she would be wrong. Emerald green met crimson Sharingan, and before she could stop herself, she let out all of her anxiety, relief and love in one endearing suffix.

"Sasuke-kun…"

* * *

So what do ya think? Review, por favor?


	17. Mind Fuck pt1

Good god it's been awhile, eh? I sincerely apologize for the exceedingly long break between this post and the last but last semester had left me drained and I had a horrible case of writer's block. However, I found inspiration as I catch up on the latest Naruto Shippuden episodes (since I've fallen terribly behind in the anime and manga...) and through the psychological theories of Carl Jung and Drunvalo Melchizadek. Jung's theories of the unconscious have always fascinated me and I've realized that my version of Inner Sakura has become more and more like what he would call a Shadow. And since you all have urged me to develop her more as a character I'm hoping to do that in the next couple of chapters as well as have some steamy/emotionally exhausting encounters between Sasuke and Sakura. So my goal is not only to develop Inner Sakura's character more, but to also allow Sasuke and Sakura to work out their issues in a violently sexy manner of course (spoiler alert?) Anyways, now that Summer is here, my Muse is on speaking terms with me again, and I only have to take one class in the Fall semester to graduate, I am hoping to update a little more frequently. Thank you so much for you patience, and as always, I love and appreciate everyone who has favorited/alerted and especially those who have continuously left me reviews. I hope you like it.

As always, I don't own Naruto, but I really wish I did. Would you marry me Kishimoto? I'm willing to share...

* * *

**Mind Fuck**

There was blood on her thighs. He shouldn't care, shouldn't be concerned. She was the enemy, a captive, and torture was to be expected. She was a defender of the village that had murdered his clan, forced his brother to sully his hands, and in turn, forced him to sully his hands with his brother's blood. She had tried to slay him, proclaimed her love for him (an even bigger offense), and now had the audacity to look up at him as if he had come to save her. How…pathetic. He had every reason to strangle the last bit of breath from her mangled and broken body…but he couldn't stop staring at the blood on her thighs.

Sasori's shouted obscenities followed by her screams had first alerted him of her presence. Temporarily blinded while he recovered with Itachi's eyes, his sense of hearing had heightened. Although, the blindfold had been removed and he had regained his vision, his hypersensitive hearing remained. He had rationalized this visit with the insistence that he wanted to shut her up, even though Sasori was long gone and she had been quiet for awhile.

When asked why Sakura was even here, Madara had simply shrugged and stated, "Kabuto's business," but Sasuke had noticed how Madara's shoulders would tense every time she shrieked.

As he stared down at the girl now turned young woman, he noticed how she had changed. As a male, he obviously noticed the physical changes (the curves, the fuller breasts, the slimmer waist, and he refused to acknowledge the anger at finding her naked _and with blood on her thighs)_, but he also noticed how defiant she looked despite her humiliating circumstances. He was surprised to find her face free of tears, and even the lack of glassy eyes. Instead, she seemed torn between outright anger and indifference. It was strange, but he thought that the woman curled down on the floor with the peculiar expression on her face was not the same as the one that had spoken his name when she first laid eyes on him.

"Took you long enough, _Uchiha_," the woman spat hatefully, lacing his name with as much venom as possible. He wondered how he had missed it, the transformation from the borderline hysterical woman that had greeted him, to the borderline wrathful woman now addressing him. "She loved you! She waited for you, and look what it brought her! Branded a traitor, captured, object-raped. She tried to kill herself, did you know that? She was so broken, so lonely, and you don't even care do you? Haven't you hurt her enough? Haven't you been the cause of her suffering for long enough? You're lucky I'm still bound Uchiha. Nothing would please me more than to give you a taste of what Sakura has endured over these long years."

"I never asked her to love me," Sasuke said dismissively, not bothering to question why she referred to herself in the third person.

"That doesn't excuse you for your responsibility to her," Sakura countered, eerily quietly. "You were the first person she ever truly loved, and more importantly, you were a member of her team. You may be able to defect from your village with ease, but I won't allow you to defect from her. You've crossed the line Uchiha, and I will make you pay for it. I'll make sure you hurt the way she has since you entered her life."

Sasuke stared at his possessed ex team mate for a long time, weighing the severity of her words. "You'll hurt her more if you kill me."

"She'll get over it. I'll make sure Naruto will see to that," Sakura said, her mouth twisting in a knowing grin as she watched anger distort the Uchiha's face.

"She belongs to me!" he grabbed her arms with enough force to bruise, shaking her violently as his eyes flashed red as he involuntarily activated the Sharigan. "I'll kill her before I let Naruto or anyone else touch her!"

"The way you stopped Sasori from touching her," she deadpanned.

Sasuke didn't remember hitting the crazed pink-haired girl, but the pain in his fist told him otherwise. He expected his possessed ex team mate to be pissed, to swear to him a slow and agonizing death for his offensive action, instead he was greeted with an eerie smile. Sakura sat there with a mouthful of blood, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Her smile was more a bearing of teeth than an actual expression, and her eyes were filled with mirth from a confirmed suspicion. As he gazed into those knowing mirth-filled eyes, he wondered if he could find the girl he remembered, the one he had left behind.

With his Sharigan turned on, he could tell that something was amiss about her chakra. Although he knew the Sakura grinning before him was not the same Sakura he had removed the blindfold from, he wondered if _his_ Sakura was still reachable.

"You want to see her that badly, Uchiha?" the Sakura on the floor asked in a sing-song voice, surveying him, head tilted. "Let me help you with that."

Before Sasuke could ask what she meant, he felt his pupils contract and dilate as they reformed into the shape of the Mangekyo Sharigan.

"What are you doing?" he asked, knowing she was manipulating his chakra.

Her answer was a playful smile and the word, "Tsukuyomi."

* * *

He had expected to be taken to a world filled with his worst fears and various tortures, that's what Itachi's Tsukuyomi was like so he expected his to be the same. However, darkness surrounded Sasuke, and he briefly wondered if he had suddenly gone blind. He quickly dismissed the thought though when he realized that this darkness was different. This wasn't merely a darkness that resulted from lack of light. This was the kind of darkness that had texture, a darkness you could feel, like a veil separating you, shielding you from a darker horror.

Cautiously, Sasuke's left hand reached out to part the ethereal curtain. He felt the tips of his fingers brush against cool silk, but the material evaded his grasp. The curtain of darkness had parted on its own to reveal what at first appeared to be Sakura. However, on closer inspection, he knew it wasn't her. Her skin was too pale, her eyes were black bottomless pits one could fall into and be trapped forever if not careful, and her blood-red lips were twisted in a smile that was anything but inviting.

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked, Sharigan eyes glowing threateningly.

"I'm Sakura's Shadow, the person she fears and secretly wishes she could be," the Sakura-like apparition answered, deepening her smile. "I am her repressed anger, her unfulfilled desires. I am her unspoken thoughts, her untapped potential. I am more Sakura than Sakura is herself."

"What do you want from her?" Sasuke asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Time," she answered, reaching a delicate hand through the darkness and offered it to the missing-nin in front of her.

"Time?" he inquired, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Time out there," the apparition huffed in impatience. She grabbed Sasuke by the collar of his shirt. "I want to be allowed to come out and play every once in awhile. But first," she pulled Sasuke through the darkness until they both emerged outside of a large gilded cage with a broken lock, "You have to tend to her."

"What is this place?" Sasuke asked, watching the apparition pull open the door and beckon him inside the golden prison.

"This is where the Old Bitch locked me away a long time ago," Inner Sakura replied, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice. "Those years I spent here were long, and quite boring. I'm owed that time lost."

Sasuke surveyed the surroundings only half-listening to his ex team mate's subconscious. The cell was large and circular, reminding him of a giant birdcage. There was a large four poster canopy bed on his right side. The dark coloring of the wood stood out in dark contrast to the pristinely white sheets and pillows that adorned the bed, making it look inviting with the promise of comfortability. How long had it been since he had slept in an actual bed and not some make-shift futon?..

"Focus Uchiha," the un-Sakura demanded, snapping her fingers and drawing his attention away from the bed. The apparition was seated at a small dark-wooded circular tea table with matching high backed chairs. She was elaborately dressed in a long black silk dress that ended just above her ankles, revealing bare feet with expertly painted black toenails. The top of the dress was a lacy white corset that rivaled the paleness of her own skin and clinched her waist nicely, contrasting her curvy bust and tiny waist to accent her hourglass figure. Within her perfectly manicured hands was a wineglass, halfway filled with a liquid the color of blood. A second glass filled with the same liquid was placed in front of the empty chair across from her. Sasuke made a move to join her at the table.

"I didn't offer you my hospitality," the un-Sakura said coldly, stopping Sasuke dead in his tracks. "This seat is reserved for a very special guest. I've brought you here to fix the damage you've caused, not to idle the day away with wine and conversation. Besides, I doubt there's anything inspiring you have to say to me anyways." She flashed him a playful smile as she watched his eyes narrow angrily from her jab.

"You've brought me here to see Sakura," he said through clenched teeth. "Well where is she?"

"Look under there," the un-Sakura said, pointing to a small white rug in the shape of a lotus flower on the floor.

Sasuke quickly lifted the rug to reveal a trapdoor with a staircase that descended into that same ethereal darkness. As he began to descend down the stairs he heard the un-Sakura call to him.

"You're going to see a lot of things that are going to anger, excite, scare, and arouse you, Uchiha. Don't worry though, everything you'll see is both real and fake, and if you're able to hold onto the little sanity you have left, you'll find her."

Sasuke merely shook his head, writing off the apparition's rambles as nonsense and resumed his descent, the trapdoor closing behind him and the carpet moving back to its proper place on its own.

"Now that the children are gone," Sakura's unconscious began, turning towards a tall man standing in the doorway of the cage, "I do believe it's time for the adults to have a little chat, eh Itachi?" She beckoned him to the empty seat across from her, and smiled as the former Konoha ANBU captain accepted her invitation. He was dressed in a perfectly tailored black tuxedo complete with white coattails and matching gloves. His black hair was pulled back neatly into a long ponytail revealing the horror that marred his once beautiful face. His eyes were now empty sockets that bleed continuously. Although his eyes were gone, he moved effortlessly towards the tea table and sat down across from her. She watched the blood run down his smooth alabaster cheeks hungrily as he situated himself and took a graceful sip from the wineglass in front of him.

"So Itachi," she began once the elder Uchiha sibling had made himself comfortable, "Convince me why I shouldn't rip your precious ototo limb from limb and suck the marrow from his bones?"

* * *

So what do ya think? I promise part 2 of this chapter is going to explain the title of the chapter **a lot **better. Itachi's appearance, the whole Shadow statement, and Inner Sakura's parting words to Sasuke will all make sense soon. Just believe in me...please? :) As always reviews are greatly appreciated and wholeheartedly encouraged.


	18. Mind Fuck pt2

Long time no see, eh? I'm sorry for the massive hiatus, but I needed a break. After the intense Spring Semester I had, I spent the Summer having a blast with my friends and I worked a lot (gotta save up money for a car somehow). I've been writing every now and then, and I have a lot of ideas for this story too, it's just a matter of finding time to sit down and work on this that I have a hard time doing. I'd like to mention that this chapter is turning out to be longer than I expected so there will be one final part after this one. Which is awesome because I'd like to move the plot forward beyond this evenutally. Just to give a heads up, this part is inspired by the Magic Theater in Herman Hesse's _Steppenwolf_, so if you read the novel you might understand why I've set up Sakura's mind the way I've had. Also, I've been doing research on Karl Jung's theories and am deciding to base Inner Sakura off of his concept of a Shadow (I hope that isn't giving too much away). Finally, I'd like to say that **this chapter has some disturbing content,** so if you're sensitive to detailed violence and sadism, I suggest you skip the **first room in bold text Sasuke enters**.

As usual, I don't own Naruto, but that's okay because I will be an official college graduate in December! Congrats to me :)

**Mind Fuck pt. 2**

Sasuke glared at his surroundings annoyed. He should have known that finding Sakura would not have been so simple. He glared down the seemingly endless dark hallway dimly lit by mounted candles and eyed the various doors dubiously. Obviously, Sakura was behind one of those doors, but with a hallway stretching on into infinity, it seemed as if he would be stuck looking for her for all eternity. For a moment, he silently questioned why he was even bothering in the first place but remembered that he had not come here on his own free will. Rather that Shadow, or whatever she wanted to call herself, had somehow manipulated his chakra and trapped him here. He doubted he would be allowed to leave until he had found Sakura.

"Need some help?" a voice called from a few doors down.

Sasuke's eyes snapped towards the direction of the voice and widened in surprise to find a very much decapitated Kisame leaning against a door, his severed head with ever present shiteating grin tucked comfortably under his left arm.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he deadpanned, taking in the ex Kiri-nin's appearance.

"That pink bitch is tougher than she looks, especially when she goes berserk. She'd probably make for an exciting lay," Kisame commented dryly, stepping away from the door. "But I guess Sasori would know better, eh?" Kisame's eyes glittered in amusement.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in disgust at the crude comment causing the ex Akatsuki member to laugh uncontrollably. As the torso's arms moved to clutch his heaving sighs, Kisame's head fell unceremoniously to the floor and rolled towards Sasuke, stopping upright at his feet. Sasuke watched disturbed as the headless body scrambled to pick up the wayward head muttering a, "How embarrassing."

"How did you get here?" Sasuke asked, unamused.

"She killed me," the decapitated head answered, as if that explained everything. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, signaling the need for explanation and the ex Kiri-nin continued, "When you kill someone you gain a part of their consciousness, a part of their soul, for lack of a better term. I'm trapped in this Purgatory until she dies. Sasori's stuck here too, but with what just happened, I don't envy his position right now."

"Where is he?"

"You wanna see?" the shark-like nin asked, his grin widening, his sharp teeth glittering like pearls in the haunting candlelight.

Unperturbed by the deadman's sinister appearance, Sasuke nodded his head, genuinely curious.

"He's in there," the headless torso pointed to a wooden arched door a few doors down from them. Upon closer inspection, Sasuke noticed the door had the words **How to Punish One's Enemies (What Goes Around Comes Around)** painted in what appeared to be blood on the wood. The doorknob was cast-iron molded into the shape of a demon's head sticking its tongue out malevolently. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter," Kisame intoned, resisting the urge to snicker at the dirty look the Uchiha threw at him.

"Aren't you coming?" Sasuke asked dryly, placing his hand on the demonic doorknob.

"And risk her seeing me? No thank you," Kisame answered dismissively. "I'd rather wait out here."

"Scared Kisame?" Sasuke sneered.

"Shitless," he answered matter of factly. "Tell me you aren't too when you get out of there, if you get out of there."

Scoffing, Sasuke resolutely opened the door and walked in, unfazed when the door closed itself behind him. Letting his eyes adjust to the dim lighting, he took in his surroundings, noting how much the room resembled a medieval torture chamber complete with crude torture devices. He took a step forward and heard the crunch of broken glass under his sandaled foot. Attention drawn to the stone floor, he noticed that large shards of broken glass littered the entire floor of the small dungeon like room.

"Come here, Sasori no Danna," a feminine voice purred, snapping Sasuke's attention to his right. His eyes widened involuntarily at what he saw. Seated upon a throne made of bones was a black leather catsuit clad Sakura, one leather bound leg thrown over the right arm of the chair in a lounging manner. A blood red leather corset that matched the red staining her lips, and black stilettos complete with six inch silver spikes completed the outfit. Her fingers combed her long waist-length pink hair absentmindedly as her hardened emerald eyes glared fixedly at a pale hunched form cowering on the floor, the stick of a lollipop poking out between her pouty lips.

As Sasuke watched the very naked, very male, form crawl slowly on hands and knees towards the domineering looking Sakura, he winced at the sound of the broken glass on the floor tearing its way through the palms and knees of the abased Sasori. Bruises and cuts crisscrossed in a nondescript pattern along the ex Suna-nin's arms and legs. Fresh blood oozed out of long gashes across the puppeteer's back, the telltale sign of a recent whipping.

"That's close enough," the leather clad Sakura hissed, removing her leg from the throne's arm and resting her foot against Sasori's left shoulder stopping his advance. She smiled as the sharp spike of her heel pierced the flesh of his collar. As Sasori gasped in pain, Sakura plucked the lollipop from her mouth with an audible pop and shoved the candy into his mouth to gag him, simultaneously tearing her heel from his shoulder.

Sakura kneeled down to Sasori's level staring transfixed at the blood dripping from the wound in his shoulder, flowing down his chest and coating his nipple in the thick liquid. As if drawn to the blood's calling, Sakura slowly leaned towards his chest licking the blood covered nipple teasingly, smiling as her former rapist shuddered in pleasure. Giggling playfully, she continued to lick her way slowly up the blood trail until she reached its source, letting the tip of her tongue to prod the wound gently. Sasori let out a long stuttering moan, half in pain, half in pleasure.

"Do you want to fuck me, Sasori no Danna?" Sakura asked innocently, violently pushing him on his back and smiling at the sound of glass biting into his back. Slowly she crawled up his sprawled body, undeterred by the broken glass on the floor, pausing as she reached her goal, his erect member. Chains appeared from the shadows of the floor and snaked their way around his arms and legs, restraining him and pulling his limbs in a spread eagle fashion. As the fingers of her left hand wrapped around the engorged appendage, Sasori let out a whimper.

"Shhh," Sakura comforted. "Don't worry aijin," she let the pet name hiss out sinisterly, "I remember what you like."

Sasuke watched horrified as the glint of a kunai's blade flashed in his ex team mate's once empty right hand before it slashed soundlessly through the air, severing Sasori's penis in one stroke.

Sasori screamed in surprised pain as blood spurted from his crotch, hitting Sakura in the face in a hot splash. She smiled malevolently down at her victim throwing his offensive organ to the side and placing the tip of her kunai against the gaping hole that once had his appendage attached to it.

"What's the matter, Sasori?" she asked innocently, penetrating his castrated crotch with the kunai. "I thought you liked this." She proceeded to pump the blade back and forth through the wound, laughing in delight as the puppeteer shrieked in agony. Blood gushed onto the kunai's handle, making her fingers slippery. Giving one final deep thrust, she released the blade, allowing the weapon to remain buried in his flesh.

Sasuke's stomach lurched sickeningly at the combination of Sasori's uncontrollable screams and the equally loud squelching noise of the kunai as Sakura had tortured her rapist. His hands had instinctively gripped his own crotch in a protective manner as he watched the former weakest member of Team 7 castrate an Akatsuki shinobi. Although thoroughly disturbed by the scene unfolding before him, he had been unable to turn away from the macabre sight, his own morbid curiosity piqued. His feet remained glued to the floor as he watched Sakura resume crawling up the still shrieking puppeteer.

Sakura sat up on Sasori's stomach, pulling him up slightly by his shoulders. She shushed the hysterical red head, combing her fingers through his hair comfortably. Gradually, his shrieks turned to whimpers as he calmed under her soothing touch. Sakura gently caressed his face, tracing his cheekbones with her fingers. Sasori stiffened at first, but relaxed against her touch as she continued her gentle ministrations. Slowly, she traced his eyebrows with her thumbs and moved downwards. His eyelashes fluttered butterfly kisses against the pads of her thumbs before she suddenly shoved both fingers into his eye sockets, attempting to dig through his brain and spring out from the back of his head. He shrieked in surprised agony as blood and clear fluid ran down his cheeks in thick streams.

As Sasori fell back writhing in pain, Sakura folded her arms across Sasori's chest, her chin resting atop her arms. She stared down at the ex-Suna Akatsuki member with a calm and patient expression, as if she knew she had all day, all night, all the time in the fucking world to do what she wanted to him. A movement across from her drew her attention away from her victim, and she finally noticed Sasuke, her captive audience. She smiled up at him and offered a blood covered hand, as if inviting him to play.

Taken aback, Sasuke stumbled backwards, fumbling for the door. He wanted out of there before she decided to make him her next plaything. He resisted the urge to cover his ears against her condescending laughter that grated on his skin, sending shivers down his spine like nails on a chalkboard. Finally managing to open the door, he clumsily stumbled out of the room slamming the door shut on the horrific sight and silencing the haunting laughter.

"Scared Sasuke?" Kisame asked from his stance a few doors down.

"Shitless," Sasuke replied dryly, attempting to regain his composure. "I thought I left that Shadow back upstairs."

"Oh that's child's play compared to what that creepy bitch would do to him," Kisame scoffed.

"Then what the hell was that I just saw? That wasn't Sakura," Sasuke asked.

"A fantasy that will never reach fruition," Kisame answered soberly. "Haven't you ever thought of doing something disturbing that you knew you would never do if given the opportunity? The human mind is a strange thing. These doors are a collection of memories, fantasies, wants, and wishes."

"So that wasn't her?" Sasuke asked.

"No, it wasn't her, but she's down here somewhere. She's retreated here to recuperate after her traumatic encounter with Sasori. Seeing you just sent her over the edge," Kisame added pointedly. "I've tortured plenty of people to know a disassociation from reality when I see one. She's either locked in a memory of happier times or fulfilling a fantasy of some type. If I had to put money on it, I'd say she's probably punishing herself, trapped inside a Hell of her own making. Rape victims have a nasty habit of blaming themselves you know."

"I'm going to kill him," Sasuke growled.

"He's already dead," Kisame said, chuckling lightly. "However, you'd have to get out of here first."

Sasuke eyed the other doors warily. He really wasn't up for watching another grotesque scene unfold in front of him. Considering Kisame's words, Sasuke stopped in front of a door in the shape of a squared white marble slab, a picture of a weeping angel on her knees, hands reaching towards the sky in a vain attempt to gain salvation etched into the stone. The words **How to Punish Oneself (When One's Worst Fears are Recognized)** were carved above the distraught angel's stretched out wings. Pushing against the cool stone, he opened the door and slipped through the opening, silently hoping this room wouldn't be as bad as the last one.

The distinct sound of Sakura crying immediately drew his attention to the pink haired medic hunched on a dirt floor. Hope that he had finally found Sakura sprang in his chest as he noticed this Sakura was dressed in a green jounin vest, black shorts, and knee high black ninja sandals. He briefly wondered when she had reached jounin status. As if sensing his arrival Sakura lifted her head from her knees, tears running freely and unashamedly down her face.

"Sasuke-kun," she said meeting his gaze, yet looking right through him as well, as if someone was standing behind him. Sasuke immediately moved towards her, intent to grab her and leave before something crazy started to happen. However, someone else had beat him to his former team mate.

"You know what you have to do Sakura," came an eerily familiar voice. Sasuke watched as an apparition of himself moved towards the medic. The apparition was dressed in torn black ninja slacks and sandals. Blood covered his shirtless chest and abs. Sasuke watched bewildered as the apparition kneeled before the simpering kunoichi and gently combed his fingers through her shoulder length hair. "Give me your hand," he commanded softly.

Leaning into his gentle touch, Sakura hesitantly offered her right hand. Taking her hand in his, the un-Sasuke placed a kunai in her palm and closed her fingers around the weapon before embracing her. "You have to prove you love me more if you want to be with me, Sakura," he whispered seductively in her ear. "I know you can do it."

The un-Sasuke smirked as he watched Sakura stand up and tighten her grip around the weapon, setting her face in determination. She took a step towards the real Sasuke, causing said man to slip into a fighting stance. He had no intention of having her do to him what she had done to Sasori in the other room. However, Sakura's pace did not slow as she continued to walk towards him. Sasuke's body tensed, ready to throw the first punch, but he never got the chance to curl back his fist as Sakura walked right through him and continued walking, unfazed that she had slipped through Sasuke like a ghost. Sasuke whirled around, eyes widened in shock as he saw Sakura's true target, a battered and broken apparition of Naruto.

"Please Sakura, help me," the un-Naruto begged, painfully stretching out a heavily bruised and grotesquely twisted arm towards the approaching medic.

"Shhhh," she hushed, gently grasping the specter's hand and kneeling down next to him. "It's going to be okay." She placed a gentle kiss into his palm before resting her cheek against it. "Close your eyes, Naruto-kun," she whispered.

Sasuke watched as the un-Naruto smiled up at Sakura trustingly, letting his eyes slowly flutter shut. Hesitatedly Sakura, lifted the hand holding the kunai, pausing above the un-Naruto's chest. Silently mouthing an apology, she held her breath as she swung her arm down, squeezing her eyes shut as the blade sank easily through the flesh of his chest and pierced his heart. His eyes sprang open, mouth gasping in a silent oh as he turned towards his friend and childhood love in disbelief.

Tears streamed from her eyes as she watched the life slowly slip from the specter's eyes as the un-Naruto gave a final shudder before laying still. Sakura slowly let go of the handle buried deep into his chest and stared horrified at the blood coating her fingers. She turned towards the un-Sasuke, now suddenly behind her and reached her bloody hand out towards the apparition. "I did it Sasuke-kun. I killed him for you."

"Don't touch me you filthy whore!" the un-Sasuke shouted, slapping her hand away before smirking down at the shocked kunoichi who visibly flinched at the insult. "You stupid little bitch," he sneered. "Did you really think I would want to be with you after you gave it up to Sasori so easily? How could I ever love a slut like you?" He kicked her in the stomach, causing the medic to double over in pain as she struggled to regain her breath. "Thanks for getting rid of my final obstacle between Konoha and my revenge. I'll be sure to tell everyone what a big help you were," he added condescendedly, turning on his heel and walking away without a backwards glance. "Toodles Sakura-chan," he waved before disappearing in the shadows of the room.

"Wait Sasuke-kun!" she shouted after him, desperation leaking into her tone. "Please don't leave me! Don't leave me alone," she glanced back at the blonde corpse behind her, sobbing uncontrollably before collapsing to her knees. "I did it for you," she whispered brokenly. "I love you. I love you. I love you…."

The real Sasuke watched as Sakura screamed after the specter, begging him not to leave her alone and professing her love over and over again. As he watched the heartbroken and hysterical medic attempt to crawl after the apparition, Sasuke tried to convince himself that he wasn't sympathizing with her. Believing he had seen enough, Sasuke moved to exit, but his attention was quickly drawn back to the scene as he noticed another apparition had appeared and had advanced on Sakura. He remembered this person too. He had encountered him back when he was training under Orochimaru and right before he had seen Sakura again for the first time since he had defected. Sai stared down at the pink haired kunoichi coldly, his gaze unforgiving.

"Traitor," the un-Sai accused in a tone as cold as his gaze. "I knew you would only end up betraying us in the end, but what do you have to show for it? Look at you, all alone and pathetic. You've killed the only person who ever truly loved you and led to your village's destruction, all for a man who doesn't care if you live or die."

Sakura visibly flinched at his words, but made no move to look at him or respond.

"It really is troublesome how stupid you are," commented the specter of Shikamaru as he emerged behind the un-Sai.

"She can't help it though," came another voice as an apparition of Neji joined the group. "It's her destiny to be a dumb whore."

"She attempted to murder her shishou and now she's killed her team mate, the Kyuubi. But we all knew she was a traitor when she failed to kill Sasuke at the Kage's Summit," chimed in Ino's voice as her specter jumped onto Shikamaru's back and wrapped her arms around his neck for support. "We all know what has to happen now," she continued, sneering down at Sakura in disgust. "Treason is an execute-on-site offense during times of war."

Sakura's head snapped up, her eyes widening in horror as the small group began to advance on her.

"Yeah," agreed the un-Neji. "Thou shalt suffer a traitor to live."

Sasuke had to get out of there. He refused to watch the infliction of violence on his former team mate. He had had his fill listening to Sasori torture her. He didn't pause to consider that his resolve towards her was weakening, that he was starting to care. He dismissed the emerging feelings as just a desire to escape this world he found himself trapped in. He managed to reach the door as Sakura's screams began. Calmly he exited and walked back into the hallway, grateful that the door had closed itself and silenced the sound of ripping flesh and agonized shrieks.

"No such luck in there?" Kisame asked, bringing Sasuke's attention away from what was happening on the other side of the closed door behind him.

Sasuke simply shook his head.

"Hmm, maybe you should try looking through her memories," Kisame offered, pointing to a wrought iron door blocked by numerous heavy chains and locked with a large padlock. The words **Things Better Left Forgotten (But Are Always Remembered)** were etched in gilded letters on a sign above the door.

"How am I supposed to get in there?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow in annoyance.

"Oh, all of that is just for show," chuckled Kisame. He walked up to the door and tapped the padlock causing it to instantly crumble as if covered in rust. The heavy chains followed suit, crumbling to dust as they fell away from the door. "She couldn't hide this stuff from you. She's never been able to hide much from you."

Unwilling to confirm or deny the ex Kiri-nin's statement, Sasuke pushed the door open and walked in. It didn't take long for him to recognize the setting. He may have been absent from Konoha for years, but he would never forget that fucking bench.

As always, thanks for reading, and please leave me a review! You're amazing!


	19. Mind Fuck pt3

I just wanted to give a real quick thanks to everyone who has alerted/favorited this fic, and I'd like to give a special thanks to everyone that gave me a review, they really do motivate me :) I appreciate the patience you all shown with this weird three-part chapter thing I had going on, and I hope you like the update.

Oh yeah, I still don't own Naruto...maybe when I win the lottery?

* * *

**Mind Fuck Pt. 3**

As Sasuke took in the familiar setting of Konoha on the infamous night he had defected and joined Orochimaru, and watched the all too familiar events of his parting unfold between himself and Sakura, he was surprised to see that there was a third party member partaking in his departure. Standing close to the younger Sakura of the past was her subconscious in all of her wrathful sadistic glory, glaring hatefully at the younger Sasuke specter and smiling mischievously at the kunoichi. He made no move to grab at his younger looking ex-team mate, he knew she was not the Sakura he was looking for. Although common sense was telling him to leave and continue looking for her, his curiosity got the better of him. He knew what was about to happen, he had this memory locked away too, but perception is everything, and he wanted to gain insight on what she perceived happened that night.

"Please don't go!" the younger Sakura begged.

_Begging, eh?_ her subconscious quipped, raising an eyebrow scornfully at the simpering tone in Sakura's voice. _Are you really that desperate? You're wasting your time on this one._

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the subconscious' words. Had she really been there whispering in Sakura's head the entire time?

"If you have to leave, take me with you! I'll help you get your revenge!" Sakura continued.

_And just how do you plan on doing that?_ Inner Sakura huffed in exasperation._ You suck at everything! But I can fix that. Forget about this kid, he's a lost cause. He's been a distraction to your training. With him gone, think of all that you could accomplish…with my help of course._

"Sasuke-kun, I love you!"

_Oh honey, now you just sound desperate,_ Inner Sakura said shaking her head in sympathy. In a more gentle tone she continued, _You have to let go. Let me help you. I can help you forget about him. I can make you stronger. I can-_

"If you leave, I'll scream and—," she was cut off as the younger Sasuke suddenly appeared behind her defensively, ready to silence her and move on.

Sasuke watched as his younger specter whispered the infamous parting words before knocking the young kunoichi out and gently laying her down on the bench. His gaze shifted to the subconscious as she smirked at the younger Uchiha's retreating back and gazed greedily down at the sleeping kunoichi.

_No, thank you Sasuke,_ she sneered as she ran a hand through Sakura's hair possessively, _For everything._

Sasuke's eyes widened in shock as he began to question his own version of the past. All this time he had believed Sakura's tone of desperation had stemmed from her trying to stop him from leaving, but how much of that desperation had stemmed from her need to prove her subconscious wrong? Angrily, he wondered how much of her proclamation of love had been true, and how much of it had been her willing to say anything to make him stay and silent her inner voice.

"No," he said aloud, "She loves me, she sent Naruto after me." He didn't have time to wonder why he was trying to convince himself of the validity of what he had always thought was trivial, Sakura's proclamation of love. He was too busy watching the scene change. It was still night time, but Sakura was lying on what appeared to be her bed in her room. However, Inner Sakura loomed over her, arms crossed and smiling smugly down at the crying girl.

_I told you they would all leave you, didn't I?_ Inner Sakura began. _It's okay though because we don't need them. We never have. Take this opportunity to better your training. Since you're "friends" have decided to train under the legendary Sannins, you will too. You're going to ask Tsunade-sama to become your trainer._

"Why can't I stay with Kakashi-sensei?" the younger Sakura sniffled softly. "He must be a wreck after losing two pupils."

_That's precisely why I want you to go to Tsunade-sama_, Inner Sakura spat hatefully._ He is grieved that he has lost two pupils, but he ignores the pupil he still has! He's always ignored you, Sakura. If you want to be on equal footing as the rest of your ex-team mates, you must train under a Sannin too. Besides, it can't hurt to pick up another useful skill like medical ninjutsu._

As Sasuke watched Sakura nod her head in acquiescence he wondered how much of her actions had been influenced by Inner Sakura. Had his ex-team mate always been under the influence of this internal persona? His mind was reeling as the scene changed again to reveal the younger Sakura in the midst of taijutsu training with Tsunade. He wasn't surprised to see that Inner Sakura was there as well, screeching at the girl to improve her stance and form in what appeared to be a vain attempt to win the sparring match with the Hokage.

_You look so sloppy_, she scoffed. _And you're moving way too slow. You look like a giant whale flopping about with the clumsy way you throw your punches. Do you even want to improve?_

Sakura visibly winced at the scathing tone, knowing that her subconscious was being more truthful and cruel than her shishou ever could be. Although Tsunade was also shouting at her for some of the same reasons, the biting tone inside her head sounded ten times worse. As Sakura continued to struggle through the spar while attempting to ignore her inner demon, Inner Sakura's last question distracted her, and she was axe-kicked in the face. Blood splattered messily in a nondescript pattern down the left side of her face from a gash on her forehead.

"You weren't paying attention," Tsunade tsked as she dropped her fighting stance and moved to inspect her injured pupil.

_You really are pathetic, you know that?_ Inner Sakura sniped as the kunoichi gingerly touched the wound to her head, smearing blood on her fingers.

Without warning Tsunade caught her hand and pulled it down to Sakura's line of vision. "Look at this!" she snapped. "Look at what happens when you're careless! If this had been a real battle you'd be dead! If you want to become a medic, you need to improve your evasive maneuvers. There is no excuse for a medic to be injured on the battlefield. As a medic, you are the lifeline of your team. They rely on you to be healed so they can continue fighting. How are they supposed to continue fighting when the person they seek aide from is injured as well?"

"I'm sorry Shishou," Sakura whispered, staring at the blood on her fingers fixedly.

"I know you are," Tsunade sighed, releasing the girl's hand. "Maybe you're not cut out for this," she began looking at the pink haired girl sympathetically. "You've excelled in medical ninjutsu, there's no question to that, but your skills in taijutsu are lacking. Perhaps Kakashi is to blame for that, I don't know. What I do know is that we've been at this for months and I'm not sure you'll ever pick up this skill."

_You can't let her stop the training,_ Inner Sakura hissed. _If you stop, you'll never be on the same level as Naruto and Sasuke. You won't even be mentioned in the same sentence as them. You'll just be a footnote, the girl who her team had to tolerate in their gennin days._

"I can improve Shishou," Sakura begged, tears already springing to her eyes. "Please, just give me another chance."

"Sakura," Tsunade sighed, "There's no shame in civilian life. Perhaps it would be better if you just worked in the hospital. I can take you off the active-duty roster and—"

"No!" Sakura cut in, fixing the Hokage with a desperate glare. "You don't understand, _she _won't let me be just a civilian."

"Who are you talking about?" Tsunade asked, frowning down at the young kunoichi.

_I thought I told you, you were not to tell her about me_, Inner Sakura said, a quiet threat evident in her tone.

"I'm not telling her about you I'm just trying to-," Sakura mumbled before feeling Tsunade's strong hands grip her slender upper arms and shake her lightly.

"Sakura, who are you talking to?" Tsunade asked, concerned.

_If you won't convince her to take you back as a student, I will._

Tsunade watched with growing concern as the facial expression on her student's face transformed from panicked terror into a smug smirk. "What is the matter with you?"

"Nothing Shishou," she countered, spatting the title hatefully as she violently shrugged Tsunade's grip off her arms. "I'm just going to show you why I should remain your pupil."

Tsunade's eyes widened in surprise as she was immediately put on the defensive as Sakura attacked her. She had no time to throw an attack of her own against the seemingly berserked pink-haired kunoichi. She watched confused as she blocked perfectly executed punch after punch, amazed that this was the same student who had moved so clumsily before. As she caught the girl by the ankle from a roundhouse kick aimed at her head, she stared into the young girl's eyes, trying to find where this sudden ability to fight came from. However, as she stared at the hardened and determined emerald gaze, she watched in shock as her eyes began to bleed black until they became bottomless pits to a dark abyss. Tsunade knew she was looking at a different person. The outside was still Sakura, but a different person ran the show on the inside.

"Who are you?" Tsunade asked, tightening her grip on the kunoichi's ankle.

"I'm your student, Shishou," the girl answered, mocking evident in her tone. "Don't you recognize me?" Without warning the young girl jumped, using her free foot to kick the Hokage in the face.

Tsunade grunted at the kick and let go of her pupil, bringing her hand to the blow against her cheek. Momentarily distracted by the pain and confusion of the situation, she was unable to block Sakura's next flurry of attacks and found herself knocked to the ground. Ready to bring this to an end, Sakura lifted the Hokage by the scruff of her shirt and poised her tiny right fist back, ready to deliver the finishing blow.

"You know, I really must thank you, Old Bitch," Sakura began in a sinister tone, smiling triumphantly in Tsunade's face. "If it wasn't for you giving up on Sakura the way everyone else has, I wouldn't have finally been able to dominate her consciousness like this."

"What are you?" Tsunade asked through gasps of air.

"You're a doctor, I'm sure you'll figure it out…eventually," the possessed kunoichi sneered down at the Hokage. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to wrap things up and be on my way. I have much bigger plans for Sakura than a cozy civilian life in a hospital-," a sharp pain in her back cut her off, and Sakura dropped the Hokage unceremoniously back on the ground.

Sasuke watched Sakura turn to find Shizune standing behind her, an empty syringe clasped in her hand. The scene began to fade to black as the drugs took their effect and Sakura fell into a state of unconsciousness. Sasuke's brow furrowed in confusion as inhuman screams filled the darkness around him, followed by what sounded like Tsunade's voice as she chanted a mantra to a sealing jutsu. As Tsunade's voice crescendoed, the screaming stopped, and the darkness was suddenly replaced with the blinding sterile whiteness of hospital walls as Sasuke watched the young Sakura awake in a hospital bed, Tsunade sitting by her side.

"You're finally awake," Tsunade smiled down at her student. "How do you feel?"

"Empty," Sakura said absently, wondering at the unsettling silence in her head. "What happened?"

"You lost control, but Shizune stepped in and drugged you to calm you down. It's important you get your rest now," she said standing. "You need to be in good health so you can resume your training."

"I've been out for a couple of days, haven't I?" Sakura asked, gazing expectantly at the Hokage.

"An unexpected side effect of the drug Shizune used," Tsunade answered dismissively, not looking at her student and moving towards the door.

"You made _her_ go away. I can feel _her_ absence. What did you do?" Sakura asked softly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tsunade said, pausing at the door, but not turning around to look at her student. "Your parents are here. They've been worried. Let's not worry them further and drop this subject, okay?"

The scene shifted again, and Sasuke found himself watching Sakura run through the familiar halls of Orochimaru's hideout. As he watched the kunoichi hurry down the hall, rushing towards the light at the end of the tunnel, he was amazed to find that Inner Sakura was nowhere in sight. He watched his ex-team mate exit the hall and grab Sai by the scruff of his shirt before catching a glimpse of another Sasuke specter out of the corner of her eye.

Her eyes widened in surprise first before her emotions caught up to her, and the overwhelming feelings of love and loss forced tears to flow freely down her face. Sasuke refused to acknowledge the tiny twinge in his chest at the sound of his name passing between her lips. If he had cared to analyze that twinge, he would have realized that what he was feeling was relief. Relief in learning that at least one of their emotional encounters had been free of influence from her bitchy subconscious, and that her feelings toward him were indeed genuine.

Before he had time to take comfort, the scene changed again and now Sakura was staring down at a bruised and battered Karin, a kunai gripped tightly in her hand. As he watched his specter urge her to kill the fallen red head, he noticed a look of disgust and pity reflected in the medic's emerald gaze as she surveyed the ex-Oto nin's bite-marked scarred body.

It was in that moment that he knew Sakura had learned of his violent sexual past with Karin. The disgust in her eyes wasn't for the girl before her, but rather for the actions committed by the person she had truly loved. Sakura was clearly hurt that Sasuke had not waited for her and was appalled that he had chewed on Karin like a dog worrying a bone. She felt genuinely sorry for the used up dying kunoichi lying at her feet, and she was guiltily thankful that it wasn't herself in this position. To Sasuke's surprise, he saw that this knowledge coupled with the sympathy she felt for Karin had strengthened her resolve, and that she had every intention of killing Sasuke. It wasn't until she had turned around to face him and found that his specter was in the process of delivering a killing blow that he watched that iron will of hers collapse. Finding out that he had been sexually active with Karin and willing to throw her away like trash had hurt Sakura, but turning to find that he was moving to kill her as well was devastating.

A flash of anger distorted Sasuke's face as he reflected on her hypocrisy. It was alright for her to put him down like he was some rabid dog, but he wasn't allowed to kill her in self-defense. If she had really loved him, she would have killed Karin and accepted her own death by his hands. Karin had allowed him to use her as he pleased, and if Sakura was as sincere as she was about her feelings, she would have done the same. In that moment he wanted to feel his hands wrapped around the pink-haired kunoichi's throat, emerald eyes looking up at him in worshipping admiration as he squeezed her last breath out from between her pouty lips.

Angrily he turned his back on the unfolding memory and began to head for the exit. Had he cared to look over his shoulder he would have seen that during her second attempt to kill him, she had stopped purposefully so that he could take the kunai from her. And as his specter had moved to stab her, she had gazed lovingly into his blind eyes and absolved him for every wrong he had committed her, and would have died still loving him if Naruto had not rescued her at the last minute.

Instead Sasuke marched angrily through the exit none the wiser, and the memory shattered behind him.

###

"Learn anything interesting in there?" Kisame asked. He had finally managed to set his head back on his shoulders. His now empty arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against a wall.

"Nothing worth sharing," the Uchiha shrugged his shoulders dismissively. "She wasn't in there, so it really doesn't matter what I saw."

"Well I guess you better keep looking then," advised the shark-nin, pointing to a door similar to the door leading to Sakura's own bedroom. The words **The Incident** spelled out in razorblades.

Sasuke let out a long suffering sigh. His patience was growing thin, and he was beginning to wonder if he could develop a plan of escape without having to find his ex-team mate. Although he found this exploration of her mind interesting, it was beginning to become tiresome. He entered the room silently hoping this would be the last he'd have to enter.

He recognized Sakura's bedroom and immediately felt discouraged when she was nowhere in sight. However, the light to the adjourning bathroom was on, and he peered cautiously in. He was surprised to find her lying on the floor, blood pouring swiftly from deep gashes down her wrists, the kunai still gripped in her hands. Despite the appearance of fresh tears on her cheeks, she appeared to be already dead.

"You always were weak," he commented, his cold eyes took in the image of her bleeding body in disgust. As he moved to exit the room, he spotted a piece of paper on her bed and picked it up. As suspected, it was her suicide note. Before he could think better of it, he began to read.

I don't know if anyone who reads this will care enough to understand why I did what I did, but I can't exit this world without having my final say. It's funny, everything in my life was going so well. I had completed my training under Shishou, I was free of _her_, Naruto has come back, we were hot on Sasuke's trail…but whenever things seem to be going so well, I always seem to fuck it up don't I? I have no excuse to my actions, that demon is gone. I have been in full control of myself and I've destroyed myself as a result of it. Perhaps the problem has never been my unruly subconscious, but rather myself. I should have killed Sasuke. He's a threat to my village, he's helped to spark the Fourth Great Ninja War, but I still love him. How self-destructive is that? That's what really disgusts me. I'm in love with a violent nukenin who has no respect or loyalty to anyone. He's killed his teacher Orochimaru, he's killed his brother, he exploited the team he formed himself, and poor Karin! I can't believe what he did to her. What's really upsetting is that the entire time I was staring at her degraded body, all I could think was thank kami it's not me. Isn't that fucked up? This girl is dying at my feet and all I can think of is myself. And that same selfishness is what kept me from killing Sasuke. How insane is it to have living proof of what happens to a woman who falls in love with an Uchiha, and still I fucking love him? I should have been able to cut him into little pieces after seeing what I saw, but what did I do? I cried and nearly got myself killed, twice. How pathetic. And I can't blame everyone for thinking of me as a traitor. They're absolutely right. I wasn't loyal enough to Konoha to end Sasuke's life, instead I was loyal to my own selfish desires. I've let everyone down and put everyone in danger. I helped lead us into war because I failed. What's wrong with me? How can I still be a bad person when that part of me has been locked away? For once, I'm going to do a selfless act. I'm going to save the village the trouble of court marshaling and executing me, and just end my own life. This way I don't embarrass my parents further. They can't even look at me let alone speak to me, but I can still feel their hatred. It's oppressive. All I ask for in return is a quiet funeral and for people to think kindly towards me if they reminisce about me.  
See you in the next life,  
Sakura

Sasuke threw down the letter and steeled himself against pitying her. Under the orders of the Konoha Elder Council, his older brother had killed his entire clan and left him alone in the world. Although suicide had crossed his mind a few times in his life, he prided himself in staying strong and deciding to seek revenge instead. He understood her feelings of loneliness and isolation, but he convinced himself that he would not feel sorry for her because she had attempted suicide. If she wanted death so badly, he'd be more than willing to oblige her request.

As he walked out of her bedroom, he paused by her bathroom to see her prone and bleeding body one more time. Despite his strong opinion earlier, he couldn't help but feel slightly moved at her broken state. Would she attempt this again once he brought her back to reality?

He tried to convince himself that it didn't matter whether she did or not as he walked out of the room and back into that endless hallway of doors. Without even bothering to engage is conversation with Kisame, he moved towards the next door. This one was shaped like a shoji sliding door. The words **The Portrait and the Artist (And What Could Have Been)** were written in beautiful pen and ink calligraphy on the paper door.

Sliding open the door and entering, he found himself in an unfamiliar darkened apartment. Not seeing anyone there, he turned around to leave when he heard what sounded like a thump from the back of the apartment. Cautiously, he moved through the living room and crept down the darkened hallway, pausing at the door that he deadended at. Putting his ear to the door, he heard another thump as well as a murmured cry.

Slowly pushing the door open, he was immediately greeted with the soft warmth of candlelight emitted from dozens of candles scattered around a modest-sized bedroom. An easel and canvas blocked his view of the bed, but he didn't mind. Drawn on the canvas in black ink was a portrait of Sakura as he had never seen her before. It was a nude portrait, but tastefully done. Despite the vulnerability of her nudity, she looked confident, almost dangerous, with the kunai clutched in her hand and the subtle smirk on her lips.

A poorly suppressed moan ended his careful scrutiny of the portrait and brought his attention to the bed. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw and how it made him feel. There on the bed was a very nude, very aroused Sakura lying underneath an equally nude dark haired young man, her arms and legs thrown around him as they kissed deeply. The only problem was that she wasn't in this position with a Sasuke specter, the young man she clung to so passionately was in fact his replacement, Sai.

With barely suppressed rage, he moved forward and reached to yank the artist-nin off of her, furious at the notion that Sai had replaced him in this aspect as well. However, as his fingers closed around the ex-Root member's shoulder, Sasuke's hand slipped through the apparition. Unconsciously, he let out the tiniest sigh of relief to find that this was another specter. As messy as he knew their reunion was going to be, he didn't want to have to drag a nude and emotional Sakura away from a sexual fantasy with a man that wasn't himself. He turned to leave, but Sai's breathless words stopped Sasuke dead in his tracks.

"Tell me you love me more than Sasuke," the artist-nin compelled as he planted light kisses on Sakura's neck and chest, lust coloring his normally emotionless tone.

Sasuke was unable to tear his gaze away from the couple as Sakura rolled them, succeeding in straddling his nude hips. Lightly pressing down on his shoulders to lean over him, she peered down at him with a coquette smile. "Wouldn't you prefer I show you how much more I love you?" she asked coyly before crashing her lips down against his.

Clenching his fists angrily, Sasuke stormed out of the bedroom, the sounds of Sakura's throaty moans ringing in his ears as he marched out of the apartment. Before he could stop himself, he began to question if what he had seen was merely just a fantasy or a memory. The past two rooms had been memory, so what's to say that this room was any different. His anger reached a boiling point when he exited the room and was greeted by Kisame, a knowing grin planted on his face.

Something inside the Uchiha snapped as he reflected on everything he had just witness while Kisame continued to flash him that annoying shiteating grin. Unable, or more likely unwilling to process his feelings and aching to vent out his frustrations, Sasuke punched the shark-nin squarely in the face, knocking his head off and sending it rolling further down the hall.

"What the hell did you do that for?" the ex-Kiri nin shouted as his head rolled to a stop and his torso scrambled to catch up and regain possession. However, Sasuke was faster and he snatched the head out of the torso's grasp.

"You've been playing me this whole time!" Sasuke snarled accusingly. "_She_ ordered you to show me specific rooms didn't _she_!"

"I have to do what _she _says," defended Kisame. "I'm trapped here forever, remember? If I do what _she_ asks, I find that my time here is less unpleasant."

"I'm through playing these games," Sasuke countered. "Show me where Sakura is so I can get the hell out of here." His tone was quiet but threatening.

"I've shown you everything _she _wanted you to see. Sakura's in there," the headless torso pointed to an already opened heart-shaped door with the word **Love** in dark red letters.

"You better not be fucking with me," Sasuke warned before throwing the head further down the hall, watching the torso scramble after it. Glaring at the word labeling the door hatefully, he pushed the door further open and entered, finding himself back at the training grounds he had frequented with the rest of Team 7 during his early gennin days.

He didn't have to search long for his ex- team mate, she was standing a few feet away from him, her gaze fixed on the specters of the younger Team7. The trio was napping in an open grassy field, cuddling together, the specter of Sakura flanked on both sides by her team. A much younger Sasuke's arms wrapped themselves possessively around the younger kunoichi's waist and held her close while her hands were linked to Naruto's, their fingers interlocked. They looked at peace in the warm sunshine.

Tearing his gaze from the serene image, he surveyed his ex-team mate. She was dressed in a white sundress, her arms wrapped securely around herself. Her hair moved gently in the breeze and slightly obscured her sad eyes. As he watched her gaze sadly at the scene before them, clearly desiring to fulfill this fantasy, he briefly acknowledged how beautiful she had become, his anger from before forgotten.

"Sakura, it's time to go," Sasuke's gentle yet firm tone gained the pink haired medic's attention. Wordlessly she nodded, and followed him back into the hall, up the stairs and through the trap door back into Inner Sakura's former prison.

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If I promised you there wouldn't be a Mind Fuck pt. 4, would you leave me a review? I hope you all liked it and I promise the next update will be a whole new chapter (I've already got the title picked out and everything). Thank you again for reading!


	20. Temporary Sanity

****Wow it's been awhile. I want to apologize for the really long and unannounced hiatus, but life happens. As a college grad now I don't have as much time to write as I did before, and my Muse has not been as active. However, She does inspire me every once in awhile, hence the chapter. Although I'm not giving up on this story, updates are probably going to be infrequent, and I apologize. It's weird how when I started this I would write for hours almost everyday just because the ideas were just flowing and now I'm agonizing at my laptop for ungodly hours just to come up with a sentence :( However, I know that inspiration comes in waves so I'm sure I'll be on a creative high again soon.

Anyways, as always I'd like to thank everyone who has favorited/alerted this story, and I'd like to thank everyone who has ever written a review for me. Those little emails helped to keep me hopeful that I'd be able to write something again, so I really do appreciate all the love shown to me :) I hope you like the chapter!

* * *

**Temporary Sanity**

_Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?_ Inner Sakura sniped, pouring more wine into her empty glass. Itachi had declined her offer of more wine. _It sounds to me as if you got everything you wanted. You protected Konoha from the Uchiha threat by exterminating your clan, and through your lies, you urged your brother to become the avenger._

"Sasuke has taken things too far," Itachi explained. "He was just supposed to punish me and then return to the village a hero, but Madara has corrupted him."

_Hard to call it corruption when all he did was tell your brother the truth,_ Inner Sakura countered. _It sounds to me you're just upset that Sasuke has made a decision for himself, something you should have done. Think about it, your whole life was spent following orders from the clan, the village, and your father. When did you ever stop and think for yourself? When did you ever decide to question authority or question whether what you were doing was right for-._

"I made a decision for myself when I decided to disobey the clan and inform the Hokage what the Uchiha were planning," cut in Itachi, his passive emotionless mask beginning to crack. "I decided that destroying the clan would prevent Konoha from breaking out into civil war. It was the right thing to do."

_Are you sure __you__ decided it was right?_ Inner Sakura began quietly. _Or is that how the Konoha authority made you feel?_

"They wanted me to kill everyone, but I left Sasuke alive, didn't I?" Itachi countered.

_So you did_, Inner Sakura assented, _But in light of everything that is happening now, we both know that the rightness of that decision is questionable._

Itachi stood up infuriated and turned his back to what he had earlier deduced was the personification of the kunoichi's madness. The angry scowl distorting his face and the blood dripping from his vacant eye sockets made him appear like a demonic angel. He refused to let her see that she had visibly upset him, and he was tired of playing her game. When he had first been brought here, he had been surprised to learn that she had manipulated Sasuke's Tsukiyomi. To be able to manipulate another person's chakra was unheard of, and the fact that his younger brother's ex-team mate was able to do it through madness was disturbing. Her power may be rare, but it was also uncontrollable. If the kunoichi didn't end up destroying herself, she would eventually be put down by her peers. It was only a matter of how many of her comrades she took down with her. He had no intention of Sasuke being one of them.

"I have said all that I needed to say," Itachi said finally, his calm composure regained. "I only ask that you keep our bargain."

_You've told me all I needed to know. You gave me the layout of this base and details of Madara and Kabuto's armies, and you entertained me with the story of your life to boot!_ The condescending smile on her lips was anything but friendly. _Against my better judgment since I believe killing your ototo would be beneficial to Sakura in ending her obsession, I will spare his life. I will also aid Sakura in laying you and all the other resurrected shinobi to rest. However, know that if Sasuke tries to kill Sakura, our bargain is null and void._

"I will do what I can to keep him in check," said Itachi, heading towards the exit.

_We should do this again sometime soon_, she called after him. The false sweetness of her tone and suggestive smile sent shivers down Itachi's spine. He had no intention of returning.

Inner Sakura stared vacantly at the empty chair Itachi had occupied. A light shiver ran up her spine as she shook off the maddening boredom of loneliness. It was almost comical that during quiet moments like this, those memories of being locked away in her gilded prison still haunted her. How many years had she spent screaming out her righteous anger in a vain attempt to get Sakura to hear her? How many hours did she spend covering her ears against the deafening silence in her forgotten corner of Sakura's mind? Well she had already made the Old Bitch pay. She may not have killed her, but she let the sannin know that she would not be forced to lie dormant again. Now all she had to do was get Sakura back under control…

A thump from beneath the lotus flower carpet grabbed her attention. With a flick of her hand, the carpet lifted and the trap door was opened. Sasuke and Sakura soon emerged.

_There you are!_ exclaimed Inner Sakura rushing towards Sakura and embracing her. _What took you so long?_ she glared accusingly at Sasuke.

"I did what you asked for," Sasuke said, ignoring her glare. "Now let me out of this hell hole."

_Don't insult my home!_ she retorted sticking her tongue out childishly. Turning to Sakura, she affectionately cupped her face and asked, _Are you feeling any better?_

Disturbed by her subconscious' uncharacteristic display of kindness, she nodded her head silently.

_Good,_ Inner Sakura smiled before quietly adding, _Now get the fuck out. This Tsukuyomi thing has grown tiring._ She moved towards the large canopied bed in the corner of her prison and flung herself on it for dramatic effect. _Go on_, she muffled, her face buried in a pillow as she shooed them away, _You know the way out._

Needing no further invitation, Sasuke grabbed Sakura by her wrist and led her out of the cage.

Sakura had not been ready for the pain as her and Sasuke came back to reality. Having hidden in her mind, she had numbed herself from her current painful position, and had even forgotten about the dire state her body was in. All of her fingers were twisted and distorted at odd angles from when Sasori had broken them, large bruises had formed on her arms and legs, and small patches of skin were missing from her back. Warm fluid ran down her thighs, and with horror, she realized that she was still bleeding from when Sasori had violated her with the trademark weapon of a shinobi. The realization almost compelled her to retreat back within her mind, but Sasuke's presence comforted her.

Sasuke watched as Sakura slowly became aware of her body's present condition and assessed the damage. Although he would never admit it, he was a little worried when her eyes widened in horror as she remembered what Sasori had done, but she seemed to be calming herself.

"How very interesting," Kabuto commented, gaining the attention of the two shinobi in front of him. "Very interesting indeed."

"What do you want?" Sasuke said, involuntarily stepping in front of Sakura.

"I just came to check up on our newest guest," Kabuto replied with feigned innocence. "Really Sasuke," he began in an admonishing tone, "When will you finally learn how to behave like a proper gentlemen? Can't you see that the lady is in desperate need of some hospitality?" From the folds of his cloak he produced a towel and a set of clothes. "I've come to offer her a bath and some medical attention." He moved to step around the younger Uchiha, but Sasuke stepped in his way.

"You've shown her enough of your hospitality," Sasuke sneered. "I won't let you lay a hand on her," he snapped, snatching the items from Kabuto's hands, much to the latter's amusement. Carefully, so as not to irritate the gaping wounds on her back, he picked her up bridal style and began to move towards the exit. As he reached the door to her cell he paused and without turning around quietly stated. "If you come near her again, I'll rip you in half."

Kabuto merely smiled at the threat and watched Sasuke exit. He had no intention of leaving her alone; rather, he was going to use this unexpected attachment to his advantage.

Sakura silently shivered from the cool air of the darkened hallway as Sasuke carried her out of her cell. Gooseflesh broke out among her naked skin, but she didn't complain. She was extremely grateful to be out of that damned room and away from Kabuto. She would have run naked in the snow if it had meant being away from the place of her torture and the man who orchestrated her torment. As Sasuke continued carrying her silently down the hall, she let her thoughts drift back to Kabuto's appearance. It was obvious he had integrated Orochimaru with himself, causing his appearance to gain a few snake-like features, but it surprised her to find that Kabuto was still in control of his own body. Although, she suspected he would display a few of Orochimaru's habits, Kabuto's personality and consciousness seemed intact. She silently wished she could learn his secret to conquer her own domineering subconscious, but she doubted Kabuto would be willing to share such a valuable piece of information without a price.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of running water, and she turned her gaze to find that Sasuke had taken her to a natural hot spring, the warm steam of the air immediately soothing her chilled skin. To her astonishment, there was an assortment of soaps, shampoos, and medical supplies next to the springs. It seemed Kabuto was telling the truth about cleaning her up and attending to her wounds.

A hiss of unexpected pain escaped her lips as Sasuke gently lowered her into the comfortably warm water. The contact caused her open wounds to sting with fresh pain, but the warm temperature instantly soothed her bruised muscles. The heady combination of pleasure and pain made her dizzy, and she almost fell over, but Sasuke's strong arms caught her. To her surprise, he had removed some of his own clothing and had joined her in the spring.

Silently Sasuke steadied her, and when he was sure she'd be able to stand on her own in the water, he let his hands travel down her body in a gentle caressing manner, further soothing away the dull ache in her muscles. Sakura marveled at his gentle touch, and moaned involuntarily as he proceeded to massage away the pain, mindful not to brush her open wounds and cause her any discomfort. Sasuke let his hands travel down her arms before pausing at her hands, his calloused fingers hovering cautiously over her distorted ones.

"This is going to hurt," he warned, his tone surprisingly gentle and coaxing.

"I'm ready," Sakura whispered as she closed her eyes and braced herself.

With ten audible snaps and ten audible muffled shrieks, Sasuke reset her broken fingers, positioning them back in their right places. As he snapped the last finger back into place, Sakura's knees gave out on her, and she collapsed against him. Sasuke held her close as she struggled to calm herself, one arm wrapped comfortably at her waist while the other gently massaged her neck and back. Confident that she could stand on her own again, she gently pushed away from him and moved to reach the wash cloth and soap at the edge of the spring, but Sasuke moved to stop her.

"Let me," he gently ordered. "I just reset your fingers. I don't want you to accidently pop them back out of place before they heal properly."

Sakura nodded her head, surprised by his sudden display of attentiveness, yet uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy. Although she had often fantasized about a kinder, gentler Sasuke, she had no idea he was actually capable of being that way, and the timing just seemed off. She was almost disturbed by his uncharacteristic show of concern, but she said nothing. She didn't want to risk the chance of disrupting the moment no matter how uncomfortable she felt. She simply closed her eyes and suppressed the urge to moan as he gently began to wash away the sweat, blood, and dirt on her body.

Sasuke smirked as he watched his former team mate suppress the urge to moan as he gently bathed her, unaware that she was inwardly flinching at his touch. He was grateful that she hadn't spoken much. He was already uncomfortable with what he was doing. He didn't quite understand why he felt the need to do what he was doing. She was after all, Kabuto's prisoner and thus the snake sannin's assistant's responsibility. However, the very thought of that man's hands on the pink haired medic before him filled him with an irrational feeling of anger. Although Kabuto had yet to lay a hand on her, he was ultimately to blame for her current state. He would be damned if he allowed that freak the opportunity to touch her. His thoughts were disrupted as Sakura let out a deep moan of pleasure and he began to wash her hair, his fingers massaging her scalp. He watched transfixed as she arched her neck and her eyes rolled to the back of her head, lost in the exhilarating feeling of his hands on her. His response was immediate, and before he could think better of it, he began to gently kiss her exposed throat.

"Sasuke, what are you—" she began breathlessly, before being cut off as Sasuke's lips suddenly moved from her neck to her mouth. Instinctively, Sakura's hands flung to the younger Uchiha's shoulders, half resisting half urging him on.

Turned on by her inner turmoil, Sasuke deepened the kiss, gripping a fistful of pink hair frothy with shampoo in one hand while his other hand drifted beneath the warm water to firmly grip her waist. Sakura moaned against his mouth in a panic as she felt his erection against her flat belly, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue between her lips to coax hers gently.

Sakura felt every nerve in her body was on fire as she responded to Sasuke. She let her hands move slowly down from his shoulders to his chest, caressing every muscle. Her tongue entwined playfully with his as her hands continued down his abs, hesitating only a moment before fully boldly gripping his manhood through the cloth of his pants and giving it a gentle stroke.

Floored by the unexpected contact, Sasuke growled possessively against her mouth before tearing his lips from hers and moving his hands to her breasts. His excitement was furthered when he found that her nipples were already hard, his nimble fingers quick to illicit surprised cries of pleasure from her.

"Sasuke," she whimpered, as she felt his hot mouth latch on to her breast, his quick tongue flicking roughly against her nipple.

Spurred by the sound of his name escaping the pinkette's lips, he let one hand slip between her legs. Lost in the sexual rush, he failed to notice that Sakura had immediately tensed as his fingers brushed against the mutilated folds of her womanhood. Before he could think better of it, he slipped one finger deeply inside.

Sakura's reaction was immediate. With one well aimed chakra infused punch to the jaw and a ferocious shout of, "Stop!" Sasuke found himself on the other side of the spring, a bruise the size of Sakura's fist blooming on his cheek. Shocked, Sasuke stared at his former team mate as the fury began to fade from her emerald eyes. He wasn't surprised that she had caught him off guard and hit him, but was rather surprised that he felt ashamed for what he had done. His former team mate had just recovered from a catatonic state brought on from sexual trauma, and here he was trying to fuck her. He had always made bad decisions around her, and this time proved no different. His face twisted in a sneer as he was overwhelmed with the feeling of disgust with himself for his actions. He wasn't just disgusted with the timing of his actions, but rather that his unexpected trip into Sakura's psyche had altered his feelings towards the girl. He had been more than ready to tear the pink haired medic's throat out as he recovered from eye surgery, but the sounds of her tortured screams, the memories he had witnessed in her mind, and the sad state he had found her in her cell had infected him with emotions he had sworn to never feel again.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry," Sakura whispered, tears instantly spilling down her cheeks. "I wish I could…I want to, but I—"

"Sakura, don't," he cut off, turning his back to the tearful girl before him. He knew that he had to distance himself quickly. As he pulled himself out of the spring, he tried to convince himself that the uncomfortable pinch in his chest was from a muscle he pulled, and not from Sakura's unexpected rejection. As he grabbed his earlier discarded clothing, he tried to convince himself that the reason why he couldn't look at her was because she was the enemy, a repulsive being who laughed while his family was slaughtered, and didn't deserve to be acknowledged with a look. And as he walked away from her and entered the hallway, he tried to convince himself that he wasn't hearing her cry for him. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't very good at lying to himself.

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As always, I would absolutely love to hear what you think so please please please review. Hopefully I'll be able to dig deep and give you all something to read again soon!


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